Whether it’s getting presents or giving presents (wait, who am I kidding? It’s all about getting presents)… twenty somethings love presents. And we have turned almost every holiday and special occasion that we acknowledge into a day dedicated to gifts (Valentine’s Day, Graduations, Anniversaries, Birthdays, Hannukah, Christmas… and these are just the big ones). I mean when did the 8 days Jews spent reflecting on being Jews turn into 8 days of presents and nothing else? It was probably when Christmas turned into a day of presents and nothing else, too. But, like, what do you expect? We’re busy people. We’re at work. We’re at activities. We’re at class or doing work. We’re sleeping. We don’t have time for the extra aspects of holidays or other occasions. We have limited free time, and we would prefer to spend that time getting presents and giving presents – and that’s it. Below is our guide to presents based on who they are from:
What a Gift Is Like From…
The Boyfriend: Not all of us are “blessed” with a boyfriend. Perhaps you have a girlfriend. Perhaps you don’t want a relationship. Perhaps you’re casually dating (three people). Or perhaps you have the ultimate blessing – being single (JK to my BF who is angrily reading this right now). Anyway, whatever you are – you’re lucky and in a good place as a twenty something. Single life in your twenties is fun and cheap. If you’re a girl, you get free drinks at bars and you can go on multiple free dates. And if you’re a guy, you don’t have to spend money on a girl 24-7 and you can sleep around with different girls every weekend. Most importantly – you don’t have to participate in gift buying! And if you’re a girl, be thankful you don’t have to go through the painful experience of getting a gift from a guy who simply has no clue. Most guys have no clue. They absolutely suck at getting gifts. Even if you write out a list of what you want or talk about this fabulous bag you really, really want every day from Thanksgiving to Christmas Day, most guys will still get you a rando bracelet that doesn’t match any of your clothes because they want you to be surprised. And, boy, will they surprise you. Sometimes moms and sisters help out, but other times boys don’t let them. They want to do it themselves. It’s like getting you a present is the same thing as asking for f*cking directions. But it shouldn’t be so hard to find something a girl really wants. It doesn’t take much to please us. And most of us would rather buy trendy costume jewelry from Target than get a 400 dollar blinged out necklace from some expensive jewelry store at the mall. Especially if you already got us a similar one last year. Or if we already have one. When will men learn? Never, prob.
The Girlfriend: Unlike a gift from the boyfriend, a gift from the girlfriend is like the best thing ever. Even though I have never had a girlfriend, I have been one and I have watched others in action. Since men suck at gifts, women already have the upper hand and have a 95% chance of getting the better present. Unlike men, we actually listen to what our significant other has to say… And during present season (aka all year long), we listen for hints of things you want and things you need. We pay attention to the clothes you have and your style. We know all of the electronics you have and all the ones you don’t have. We are so good that we know what you want when you didn’t even know you wanted it. We do our best to surprise you (even if you’ve been asking us for the gift since last year) and we don’t get embarrassed if we have to ask your friends for help. A gift from a girlfriend will soon turn into a gift from a wife. I’m not sure that one will be as good though, so enjoy it while it lasts boys!
The Grandparents: Everyone knows grandma picks out the best gifts. She’s retired. She wakes up in the wee hours of the morning. She’s too old to be busy. In fact, she has nothing to do all day except watch TV, go on the computer, occasionally get her hair done, think about her grandkids, and umm… well I have no idea. I always wonder what my retired grandparents who didn’t retire to the warmth of Florida do in their free time (I know you both read this – Please enlighten me and everyone else wondering the same thing about their grandparents). So instead of being like your mom who works, cooks, goes food shopping, and collects coupons in her free time during the months of November and December… Grandma thinks of what to buy for you. And she does it early before everything sells out. Of course your grandfather doesn’t get involved in this because, as I said before, men suck at picking out gifts. However, he still does whatever his wife says – like spend his life savings on you – so that only gives us women hope!
The In-Laws: As a young (very young) twenty something, I have no experience with gifts from in-laws and don’t intend to for quite a while. However, when I googled “horrible gifts” for a previous post, almost every link was about horrible gifts… from in-laws… for wives. Now I’m sure not all in-laws give horrible gifts. I couldn’t imagine my parents giving my future husband a bad gift… and I’m sure you couldn’t imagine your parents giving your future husband/wife a bad gift (or could you?)… but it apparently happens… and almost always to woman. Is it because a man’s parents picture their son marrying a certain type of woman and they want to make you into that woman? Is it because they haven’t bothered to get to know you? Is it because you stole their son? Is it because they don’t like you? OR is it because their son is completely oblivious to what you want? Yeah – it’s probably that one 100% of the time. As I said, guys suck at presents.
The Relative Who Has No Kids And/Or No Spouse: This can go two different ways. 1) Since this relative has no kids and therefore doesn’t have to spend their life savings on a college education for them, he/she spoils you with awesome presents. 2) Since this relative has no kids, they have no interest in your parents’ kids… and since you happen to be one of your parents’ kids, don’t expect much from these young-people-haters. They’re clearly just jealous you can still get rage blackout on the weekend and relate to twenty something blogs, like this one.
Who gets you the best presents? The worst? Oh, and Happy Present Week!!!