What I Learned From Board Games

Hungry Hungry Hippos: Eating will make you fat.

 

 

 

 

 

Operation: When you fuck up during surgery, no one dies… The hospital room just makes a really loud, obnoxious noise.

Girl Talk: Liars have really bad acne.

 

Don’t Wake Daddy: If you wake up daddy, he will probably beat you up.

Sidenote: Why does Daddy have a twin bed?

Pretty, Pretty, Princess: The more jewelry you wear, the prettier you will be.

 

 

 

 

 

Monopoly Junior: The more money you have, the better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trouble: Popping noises really excite people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Game of Life: If you don’t get married, buy a house, have some pink and blue kids, and drive them around in a car until you die, you will be unsuccessful.

Dream Phone: Hot guys really do like you.

Candyland: Eating lots of ‘candy’ will fuck. you. up.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry: No one is ever really ‘sorry.’

Mall Madness: Women are actually extremely shallow and stupid (pshhhh, sorry we love clothes).

Yahtzee: Yahtzee is a really fun word to see. Seriously. Say it. Yahtzee.

Perfection: Commercial jingles are really annoying (‘pop goes perfection‘).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gator Golf: It’s totally normal to put balls in an animal’s mouth.

Other awesome games from our childhood included Battleship, Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots, Guess Who, Mouse Trap, Connect Four, and Jenga. What was your favorite board game and what did it teach you? Also, do kids even play board games anymore? That’s a serious question. I don’t think they do…

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