Looking back on it now, high school was pretty easy. Sure, if you wanted to go to a ‘good school’ – or any school at all – you had to at least do some work (but let’s be honest – in the end, it didn’t matter where you went to school). You had to do your homework (even if it was copied), you had to take tests (even if it was a few days after your class did because you were ‘sick’), and you had to hand in projects and papers (even if your mom
helped did them). Oh, and you had to show up too. I learned a lot in high school about life… and not just about history and calculus (wait I didn’t learn anything about calculus)… I learned how to bullshit my way through life.
When I entered my Freshman year of HS, I was terrified to miss school- because if I did, I wouldn’t be allowed to attend cheerleading practice. Eventually, though, I found out that as long as you come in by 10:30 (about half way through the day), you were good to go. Therefore, I started coming in at 10:30 a lot. Especially when I had English first period. I started procrastinating at a very young age and convinced my mom to write me notes so I could miss English and hand in my paper the next day. I came in late when I had tests I didn’t study for so I could take them another day. I came in late when I didn’t do homework (aka copy it from someone else – my entire senior year math class held a party each week so we could all copy someone else’s weekly homework… what a joke). I was breaking rules and there were no consequences.
I thought college would be different than the joke that was high school. I didn’t think I would be able to bullshit my way through it. I didn’t have my mom around to write me notes when I was late or absent… and I didn’t have teachers to hand me passes to ‘miss class.’ I was on my own.
My earliest class 1st semester Freshman year of college was at 8am. And let me tell you – I struggled to make it to this class every Tuesday and Thursday. Struggled. I was so horrible at waking up for the class, that I missed my first college exam. And no – I’m not kidding. I woke up 5 minutes after the class began (I still blame my phone for not working properly to this day) and started panicking. I grabbed my books, threw my hair in a pony tail, and – near tears – started running down 6 flights of stairs in colorful polka-dotted Victoria’s Secret Pink pajama pants across campus to the classroom. Half way through, I decided I wasn’t going to make it. I was already 15 minutes late… and I didn’t know what would happen if I walked in that late. So I ran back to my dorm room and emailed my teacher telling him I woke up with a horrible stomach ache and I have been throwing up all morning. I told him I was just on my way to class (which I was) and felt like I was going to throw up (which I pretty much did) and had to run back. Terrified of what the response would be, I hit ‘send’ and waited… In about 2 minutes, he emailed me back telling me he was glad I went back to my room and that I should get some rest. He said I could take the test sometime next week when I was better.
‘Really? You’re letting me off that easy? You’re going to let me take the test next week so I can ask everyone what questions were on it and then ace it? I mean, I’m not complaining… but is this how college works? Because if so, I love it.’ This was my thought process after my achievement of waking up late and not being penalized for it. I then realized that I was going to be able to bullshit my way through college, too… So with a smile on my face, I bragged to everyone about my accomplishments and did it again.
Each semester, I allowed 1 (maybe 2) excuse(s) per teacher. If a paper was late, my computer died and I lost all my files. If I didn’t get to study for a test, I had mono. If I didn’t get to finish editing a video file, the computer froze and didn’t save what I just spent hours working on. If I missed class, I was puking (as I learned Freshman year, no one will question puking… especially if it’s a guy and you add in the words ‘period’ and ‘cramps’).
After college, the game changed again once again. Except this time I had no idea where to start… I was unemployed and needed a job ASAP. And I realized I wasn’t going to be able to bullshit myself through this. Resumes, cover letters, interviews… you can’t exactly bullshit your way through those things. Luckily my experience of bullshitting my way through college, getting a decent GPA, working 3 jobs while cheering and taking classes, and completing 4 awesome internships looked pretty damn good. Could this be the resume of a bullshitter? No way!
I’ve now learned that bullshitting is really another way of saying ‘not taking life so seriously.’ And why takes things seriously when you can have a little fun along the way? Sure to graduate high school, college, and land 2 jobs already I’ve definitely tried. Probably not as hard as I could have… but it’s fine. I’m at a place I want to be. A place I like. And I wouldn’t go back and quit my bullshitting. I had an awesome past… and here’s to an awesome future. Of bullshitting of course. Just know – if you’re now planning to bullshit like me, make sure you’re good at it first.
Are you a good bullshitter? Any tips for your fellow 20-somethings? Let us know!