10 Drinks I Can’t Drink Anymore… And Why

1. Beer. The first time I ever got ‘sick‘ from drinking was sophomore year of high school. I drank maybe, like, six beers and had to run from cops when their lights shined down on the epic ‘woods party’ that was taking place in the town dump. I went home and threw up the next morning. I didn’t understand why people did this to themselves… and I certainly didn’t understand why people partied in a town dump (like, my pants got dirty)… so I stopped the madness for a while. And then stopped the madness for good after I found out I was allergic to gluten (aka beer) 7 years later (…that’s why I could never stomach beer).

2. Vodka in a Poland Springs water bottle. Senior year of high school was like a makeshift Freshman year of college for me. I drank so much and therefore ate way too much ‘drunk Wendy’s‘ that year that I gained the Freshman 15 before I was even in college (and don’t worry – I gained another Freshman 15 when I was actually a college freshman, too). My friends’ parents went away one weekend so by high school nature, he threw a party. I was celebrating a HS cheerleading victory of some sorts that night and decided to ‘go hard.’ Apparently I went a little too hard when I started throwing up that Poland Springs bottle of vodka in the bathtub (the toilet was taken by a friend who started taking her clothes off – so no, I wasn’t the only wasted idiot). To make matters even worse, I didn’t show up at my house that night and, instead, woke up on a friend’s couch (who wasn’t even at the party that night). I wasn’t allowed to sleep out after this for a while. And I certainly didn’t allow myself to drink vodka… until college.

3. Vodka Shots. In December during my Freshman year of college, two friends came to visit. We were about 2 weeks away from going home for Winter Break and the upperclassmen on my Cheerleading team were throwing an end-of-semester/pre-finals party. We, of course, went to this party – and intended to leave at a decent time to go to (most likely) a Football party or another Freshman-filled house party off campus. One of my friends ended up making it to the 2nd party… but I didn’t. I woke up the next morning with no pants on next to one of the girls who lived in the apartment. I apparently had spent the entire night puking in the bathroom and had absolutely zero recollection of any of this happening. I panicked not knowing where my friends where, but then found one of them sleeping on a couch in that same apartment. This was all due to myself showing off my ‘extremely high tolerance‘ and ‘awesome drinking ability‘ to my friends from home… Apparently, though, I didn’t have as high of a tolerance as I thought. I couldn’t handle taking 6 shots of vodka in a row in less than 10 minutes. I did not drink vodka again until maybe Junior year of college… and to this day, I have never taken a shot of it.

4. Goldschlager. The name of this drink gives me the chills. I recently saw it in a liquor store and legit had to run in the opposite direction to avoid puking all over the floor. Freshman year of college (of course), 2 friends and I were pregaming in a dorm room (of course) with a bottle of Goldschlager. We thought we were so cool because the liquor had, like, real pieces of gold in it. We were 3 girls with 3 shot glasses, taking them back like champs… and let me tell you, it didn’t taste good at all. After the 3rd shot, the liquor immediately came back up forcing me to puke in my friends’ roomate’s trashcan (sorry about that). I never drank Goldschlagger again.

5. Any type of shot. Whenever I take a shot, you know it’s going to be a good bad night. After my freshman year vodka shots experience, I decided I was over that come Sophomore year. It was maybe the 1st or 2nd week of the school year and I was off to pregame at a cheerleading party, where I was fed a lot of wine and drank a lot of Captain. After this, I went to a party my friend was throwing. There, I had shot after shot after shot. And, no, not vodka shots. There were soco shots. There were kamikaze shots. There were even tequila shots (you can imagine where this is going). I don’t remember much else from the night except that there was a lot of crying and a lot of dancing… and after, I went back to an empty dorm room and passed out. Soon enough the fire alarm went off and I, of course, slept right through it. My friends were worried when they didn’t see me outside, so they told the RA and everyone started banging on my door. Eventually the RA opened the door with her own keys and there I was – lying in the my own throw up on my beautiful, pink sheets. I immediately woke up and had absolutely no idea of the filth that was around me. I remember being put in the shower with my underwear on. I also vaguely remember sitting down in that shower (gross). After this, I swore off shots. Any type of shot. Forever. The worst part was that when I went to get my sheets out of the dryer, they were gone. Someone stole them. Why.

6. Vodka with Crystal Light and Ginger Ale. This was a random obsession Junior year of college. As usual, I was trying to keep to my healthy diet while drinking… so why not pop some crystal light packets in with my vodka? The more powder, the better (AKA the less vodka you could taste). This drink was ruined for me after it exploded in my face for the third time. Yes – exploded. It was a great drink, but after being put into a water or soda bottle, it would expand and then blow up in my face after opening the bottle. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Not to mention, I once put way too much powder in and it turned black. It wasn’t pretty. This drink was way too much effort. Definitely not worth it.

7. Cherry Vodka and Sprite. Oh my god, cherry vodka. It was lust at first sip with this drink at the bar Senior year of college. It tasted so effing good that I went out and purchased some on my own… and then had it maybe one night a weekend when I wasn’t feeling the Captain (but then again – when wasn’t I feeling the Captain?). This all ended quickly after receiving hangover after hangover… I never had it that bad with the Captain. Way too much sugar. Definitely way too much sugar.

8. Captain and Coke. If you knew me at all in college (or even had just heard of me), I’m sure you knew me as the girl who drank Captain. I carried around bottles of Captain (usually accompanied by a Diet Pepsi). And I was so used to drinking the alcohol, that I could down a bottle in just one night and feel fine the next morning. I even dressed up as Mrs. Captain Morgan for Halloween one year. After graduation, I kept at my drink of choice for a while… but soon – it became less and less appealing. I have no crazy story that involves throwing up for this one – but I do know that once I read how many calories were in the drink, I quit it for a while… And when I recently tried drinking the Captain again, it did NOT taste good. Perhaps it’s the soda – I drink absolutely no drinks with carbonation. Or maybe it’s the rum. But whatever it is, I just can’t drink it like I used to anymore.

9. Bethenny’s Skinny Girl Margarita. This was a phase. A very short post-college phase. After ‘quitting‘ the Captain, I decided to move on to this low calorie gem by my girl, Bethenny. I mixed it with a little bit of carbonated flavored water and had myself a tasty little drink. However, I wasn’t drinking the margs to be casual… I was drinking them to get wasted. And – let me tell you – that took a LOT of margarita. I was drinking like almost a bottle (if not the entire thing) a night. And I was getting horrendous stomach aches because of it. The margs were not only filled with sugar – but they were filling in general. And once my buddies at Whole Foods took SGM off the shelves, I knew our love affair was over. If only I was a casual drinker… But I’m not.

10. Red Bull and Vodka. This is my current problem. I cannot stop drinking Red Bull and Vodka. But I totally need to stop – like ASAP. After college, I discovered Red Bull and Vodka. Wait – let me rephrase that – I discovered Red Bull. Red Bull, to me, tasted so good… and gave me, like, wings. I had never had red bull on it’s own – but when I mixed it with vodka, I couldn’t taste the alcohol! So I drank. And I drank. And I drank. And now I drink. And I drink. And I drink. And then I’m in the bathroom for hours regretting my poor drink decisions from the night before. Every time it’s ‘I’m never drinking Red Bull and Vodka again…’ and every time there I am – drinking it again. Maybe that’s because I have two Costco-sized bottles of Vodka in my apartment and there is really nothing else I enjoy drinking Vodka with. Or maybe it’s because I’ve run out of all other drinking options. Maybe I should just quit drinking all together? Or not. Let’s be serious. Anyway, this weekend I had RBV’s right before I came down with a nasty stomach bug. So now, I think my RBV days are seriously over.

So 20-somethings – help me out. What should I try next? What should be my 11th drink of choice?!  Share your fave beverages in the comments or tweet them to us @forever20tweets!

Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

5 Comments
  1. Barcardi torched cherry (I know you’re gagging at the thought of something cherry)… but mixed with diet dr pepper or coke, it tastes so good. A cherry coke rum & coke.. Try it before you say no!

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