In This Week’s News… Kimye, Justin Bieberlake, and more!

Author: Samantha Matt

Kim Kardashian is now dating Kanye West… says TMZ (of course another black dude). The two were spotted after seeing the Hunger Games together (ha) in NYC. Kanye sings about his love for Kim in his new song, ‘Theraflu‘ (Umm WTF is a Theraflu?). The lyrics tell us that he has loved Kim since she started dating Kris Humphries… and since his pal Jay-Z owns the NJ Nets, he says Kris is lucky he didn’t have Jay drop him from the team. I wonder how Kris feels about this… I picture him indulging in a Five Guy’s cheeseburger while listening to Justin Bieber’s ‘Boyfriend‘ on repeat. No shame, Kris. Anyway, I wonder if Kimye will last… What do you think?

If you haven’t heard Justin’s new song, ‘Boyfriend,’ yet – brace yourself. He (like I predicted) is becoming another white ‘rapper’ with a ‘pop vibe.’ Sound like the Justin Bieber we used to know? Not exactly… Say hello to Justin Bieberlake: the wannabe Justin Timberlake (I do like ‘Boyfriend’ though… it grows on you). And just as one would expect in teen 20-something pop land, Bieberlake is now collaborating with the British boy band sensation, One Direction… who I happen to LOVE at age 23 (nbd). The Biebs will also be collaborating with Usher and will.i.am. I am secretly/openly very excited for his new album. Maybe he will even do a song with the Ying Yang Twins and there will be even more whisper-rapping than before. ‘How you doin lil mama, let me whisper in your ear, tell ya somethin that ya might like to hear…’

One Tree Hill ended Wednesday night. And no, I didn’t know it was still on either. But I watched… and I cried because it made me feel old. When did they get so old?!?! Oh wait, the show skipped like 20 years one season. And another 20 years at the end of the last episode. Phew. I guess I’m not THAT old.

Ryan Gosling saved a woman’s life… or so says her Twitter account. A British writer, Laurie Penny, was about to get hit by a cab in NYC (taxis gone wild – as usual) and Ryan Gosling came out of nowhere and pushed the woman out of the way. The catch: Ryan’s reps haven’t confirmed he was actually the one who saved her (if she was really ‘saved’ at all)… These are just ‘rumors’ from the tweets of Laurie Penny. How many followers did you score from that, Penny?

A ‘white substance’ and a ‘mirror’ were found at Whitney Houston’s ‘death scene.’ I WONDER WHAT SHE WAS DOING WITH THOSE THINGS? Wasn’t it already known coke was in Whitney’s system before she died? Why don’t we come right out and say: WHITNEY WAS DOING COCAINE BEFORE SHE DIED. Why must we beat around the bush and talk about mirrors and white powder and bloody noses?

Miley Cyrus might be ditching her stilettos for a cardigan and moving back to Nashville (although I’m almost 100% positive everyone still wears stilettos in Nashville). On Thursday she tweeted, ‘Highly considering moving back to Nashville. I can’t stand these D Bag paparazzi anymore. Couldn’t even take my dog on a walk today.’ Okay, so maybe she had a fight with Liam… or maybe she likes the weed better in Nashville… but there is no way Miley hates paparazzi. I’m sorry, but didn’t she used to call them to let them know where she was? For instance, at an In-N-Out drive thru? We all know your secrets, Cyrus. You can’t fool us.

Google is trying to get rid of human interaction. Google has begun ‘Project Glass’ where they are trying to make glasses that act like smart phones. Meaning when you put them on, you can see messages from other people and stuff. WTF. If this is where the world is headed, I am glad it’s ending.

'Hey! Look at me in my casual, trendy glasses!'
What she is really seeing...

Waste of Time (AKA Fad Website) of the Week: #whatshouldwecallme

Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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