Does This Make Me Old?: Moving In With The Boyfriend

The past week has really been an eye opener for me. I do not want to grow up. In fact, I am very happy where I am right now – sitting on my girly bed, watching a Lifetime movie, surrounded by pink, black, and white decor – and it would be ideal if I could stay here forever. I’m not in school anymore, so I don’t have to worry about class, grades, and how much money my parents are going to give me this week (I actually get paid now). And although I am considered an ‘adult,’ I’m not a real ‘adult’ yet. I’m still on the ‘family plan’ for my cell phone and my car is not in my name (I guess that makes it not my car, but whatever)… and if necessary, I can still move back home and not get made fun of or looked down upon for living with my parents. I’m 23 (soon to be 24) and I don’t want that number to get ANY higher.

This past week, after months of searching for a 2 bedroom apartment that doesn’t exist with one of my best friends, we came to the realization that it just wasn’t going to happen. Anything we would actually agree to live in was obscenely expensive and unfortunately we just don’t have the funds to pay for our (desired) lavish lifestyle. Our decision was made. She was going to have to search for a room/roommates on Craigslist… and I was going to have to move back home (AHHH). I didn’t want to move back home though, so I didn’t give up on looking… and that’s when I found it – the perfect apartment. Okay maybe it wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t huge (just not super small). It had old, shitty appliances in the kitchen. And it didn’t have huge closets (I have a lot of clothes!). But to me – anything in my price range (or just slightly above it) that included all of my needs (wants you can live without) was perfect.

I went to check out the hidden gem with my boyfriend, since my roommate already had plans, and we immediately fell in love with the place. Unfortunately my friend did not feel the same way, but I needed that apartment. There was nothing left on the market for me (literally) and I couldn’t move home. And that’s when it happened. All of a sudden I was filling out an application for the place with my boyfriend. As in the two of us moving in together. Like, living together. In the same apartment. What?!!?

#oldpeopleproblems

At first, the idea excited me. Sure we had talked about one day moving in together. We eventually want to move to New York and plan to move in together as soon as that happens… but to move in together this September when the two of us will both turn 24? It just wasn’t in my plans.

I told myself over and over that sometimes life doesn’t go as planned. But that didn’t stop the anxiety I was feeling over ditching my hot pink pillow cases, my paintings of pretty heels and flowers that I had just spent a decent amount of money on, and my girly (childhood) furniture (which I really do need to ditch soon)… I guess I just wasn’t ready to share a room. I have never shared a room. Maybe in college a few times, but I still had MY room at home. My space. My closet. If you know me, you know I have an endless amount of clothes. And to share a small space with someone? I’m sorry, but your clothes can go on the porch or something… That’s how it would be. Sorry.

Luckily, this place was a 2 bedroom, so we would have an endless amount of space to store our stuff AND we could still find a way to use decorations - girly or gender neutral. But no matter what, I still was not feeling 100% okay about the whole thing. I mean, I write a blog about 20-somethings who want to stay young forever (aka me). And moving in with a boy (to me) would mean that my youth is gone. It would mean I’m boring. It would mean I’m getting one step closer to a ring (gross – FYI, If you’re going to spend that much money on me, I’d prefer a Chanel bag). It would mean I would spend my days scoping out furniture and my nights drinking a glass of wine before bed. It would mean I’m old. And I don’t want to be old.

Anyway, this doesn’t mean I don’t want to live with my boyfriend. I do. We’ve been together almost 3 years and I spend almost every night with him anyway. But I’m 23 years old. I want to live with friends. I want to live in a girl room. I want pretty paintings on my walls. I want pictures of my friends framed all over. I want PINK. And it’s not that I want space from my boyfriend… I just want a space to live in that is mine. At least for now.

Why couldn't my room look like this when I was younger?

So are we signing this lease? Probably not (only because an opportunity came up where I might be able to stay in my current apartment).  However, if this doesn’t work out and it comes down to moving back home or moving in with the BF, I think I will start looking for an apartment with him. As long as it’s not an interruption to my life plan (as in the two of us plan our search in advance), and we can actually afford it (as in afford the large space we will need between the two of us), it won’t be as much of a shock.

Sure, I said I want to spend one more year in my own apartment and then move in with my boyfriend at age 25. But I also said I would be living in NYC by now… and where am I? Not in NYC. You just can’t plan stuff like that. Moving in with him doesn’t mean I will automatically grow gray hairs and get arthritis (although I do already go to the chiropractor 2 times a week, so I’m getting there). It doesn’t mean that I will have to get engaged sooner than later. It doesn’t mean I won’t go out anymore and I will stop raging like the alcoholic I am (not really, but we can pretend). We could break up after (or while) living together… or we could end up staying together (that would be best). But regardless of anything, from all of this nonsense I have learned to stop trying to plan my life out. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow (or in the next 5 minutes)… and you have to just go with the flow. So that’s what I’ll do. Whatever happens, happens. And I’m fine with that.

Tags: 20 something problems, 20 somethings, boyfriend, couples, dating, featured, girlfriend, life after college, living with boyfriend, moving in together, moving in with boyfriend, old people problems, post grad, relationships, twenty something, twentysomethings

Category: #PostGradProblems, Confessions of a 20-Something, Dating, General, In-a-Relationship