According to PEOPLE, Hannah Montana Miley Cyrus is engaged. Like WTF. Wasn’t she just a child star on the Disney Channel? Well, yes. In fact she was. Miley, 19, is now engaged to Hunger Games star Liam Hemsworth who she has been smoking with dating for a while. Cyrus told PEOPLE, “I’m so happy to be engaged and look forward to a life of happiness with Liam.” You are effing 19 years old. A LIFE OF HAPPINESS? I know you’re skipping the whole college thing, but act your age Miley! Go get drunk. Go make bad decisions. Go hop off your plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan. Not a wedding dress! You, like, can’t even wear stilettos. Isn’t life supposed to be one big party in the USA… Not one big wedding?! You’re, like, 4 or 5 years younger than me. WHY? WHY AT 19? Maybe she is accepting the fact that any marriage she has will not last longer than two years because she is a celebrity, but even so… no. This is not 1920. There is need to rush into things. I mean what’s next? Selena and Justin having a kid? No thanks.

Here are 10 reasons Miley Cyrus should NOT be engaged (yet):

1. She is 19.

2. Liam is 22.

3. She is a giant pothead.

4. She is also Hannah Montana.

5. They are both busy and will have no time for each other.

6. She is daddy’s little girl. And daddy is (semi-recently) divorced.

7. If Katy Perry and Russel Brand can’t make it, no one can.

8. They were probably high when they decided to make it ‘offish.’


10. She’s just being Miley (AKA it will pass).

So what do you think? Will the pair make it to the wedding? Will they last longer than Kim and Kris? If they don’t last, will Miley start dating black dudes (I hope so)? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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Samantha is a typical 20-something who owns way too many clothes and is openly addicted to Pretty Little Liars. She used to like bagels, but then she found out she was gluten free. Now she loves them. #shewantswhatshecanthave. After graduating from Ithaca College way back in 2010, Sam started up this really cool online magazine/blog that you're reading, which now consumes her life. If you want to grab a drink with Sam, just ask her. She hasn't yet learned how to say the word "no." Watch her rise to (Internet) fame on Twitter at @samanthamatt1 and @forever20tweets.

5 Responses to “10 Reasons Miley Cyrus Should Not Be Engaged” Subscribe

  1. Danielle June 6, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    #11 – she can’t be tamed.

  2. Alana June 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    I don’t understand this website anymore. She’s 19 – so what? She’s not being forced or pressured into getting married young. She’s over 18 and completely financially independent. Can’t she make her own decisions? They’ve been dating 3 years and are LIVING TOGETHER. She’s not “Hannah Montana” anymore because she started that show at 12 and it ended at 16 – 3 years ago. She is NOT a giant pothead and even if she WERE why would that matter??? People who smoke weed can’t get married?? She’s completely NOT a daddy’s little girl because her father is a completely socially right wing person and she is the opposite of that. Her and her father are probably REALLY not close. Plus her parents got divorced (ish) two whole years ago and she’s an adult. She shouldn’t move on in her life because her parents got divorced? That sounds healthy. Also, Russel Brand is the one addicted to drugs and Katy Perry is so confused about her life beliefs and religion that of course it didn’t work out. I don’t care if you hate Miley – go ahead – but don’t post ignorant and stupid articles on the internet about it because it makes you look like an asshole.

    • Amy June 7, 2012 at 10:48 am #

      You do not realize this post, along with many other posts that are contributed to this website, are sarcastic in nature and are supposed to be funny?

      Stop taking everything you read so literally. Life’s too short, have a laugh.


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