What Happens When You Date Taylor Swift
We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Like, ever…
What are those italicized word above you ask? A text from a 16 year old to her now ex-bf? A hand game played by 12 year old kids at summer camp? An auto-tuned pop song by Rebecca Black?
No.
Those are the words of 22 year old Taylor Swift straight from her newest single. Surprised? No. Over it? Yes.
Taylor Swift is a stage 10 clinger. She dates everyone, but once she gets too close the dude is like get this cray b*tch away from me… but it’s too late. T Swift has already been working on about 5 songs that discuss their relationship, fights, inevitable break up, and other extremely personal – and highly immature – ‘issues.’
Swift hasn’t lasted a year in any relationship since she was 18 (and possibly before that too) and there is probably a good reason for that. She dated Joe Jonas for 3 months in 2008 (when the Jo-bros were all the rage) and supposedly wrote a few songs about him after they broke up including Forever and Always, Last Kiss and Better than Revenge… But, I mean, how do you feel so many feelings that result in multiple post-breakup songs after dating someone for 3 months? THREE MONTHS. I don’t know.
Taylor Swift sporting her best blue steel.
After that, she dated Taylor Lautner (yes – they had the same name) for a quick 2 months in 2009 (when Twilight was at it’s prime). After they broke up, she wrote Back to December based on their relationship and the fact that she didn’t like him as much as he liked her. But umm… there’s really no need to apologize to someone after dating them for TWO MONTHS and realizing that. I mean really. It’s normal.
Next, she dated John Mayer for a few months and then wrote the song, Dear John, about him after they broke up. He was of course humiliated that Tay would write about a song about him and dubbed the lyrics as ‘cheap songwriting.’ Well, duh she wrote a song about you John… and duh it was horrible. What did you expect? It’s Taylor f*cking Swift. If you don’t want a song written about you that will most likely hit number 1 on the pop charts and be sung by 12 year old girls in their mirrors, don’t date Taylor Swift. It’s simple.
Taylor’s most recent celebrity ex is Jake Gyllenhaal, who broke up with her through a text after they dated for 3 months in January 2011. No song has been written about him yet (or so we think), but the new horribly written ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together‘ (yes that is the song’s name) could possibly be about him…
And now, if you haven’t heard, Taylor Swift is dating Conor Kennedy. Yes, one of THE Kennedys, who just graduated from high school. If Taylor was a real person she would have already graduated from college AKA she is too old to be dating a boy who just graduated high school. I mean, she just dated a guy almost 10 years older than her before this. What is she thinking? Oh that’s right. Taylor is OBSESSED with the Kennedy family. And it’s election season. And she loves dating guys of the moment. Just think what great songs could come out of this breakup during election season. A politically powered song about a boy who just lost his mom and the house she bought next to his. And yes – They’ve only been dating a short time and she already bought a house next to his family’s home… That’s not creepy at all! Right? Well at least she’s never ever (ever) getting back together with her ex. Things are looking good for Conor, as long as he can keep up with the cling and the overexposure of their relationship on iTunes.
Basically, if you date Taylor Swift you are bound to hear stories of your private life on the radio. Even if you DON’T date Taylor Swift you’re screwed. Adam Young of Owl City simply had a crush on T Swift and she wrote Enchanted about him. Like, sorry I didn’t have feelings for you, but here’s a song to make you feel even more rejected. Damn you T Swift and your compulsive dating habit… and your ability to make every guy drool over you despite the fact you develop so many feelings in such a short amount of time.
And with that, here are more lyrics from her newest poorly written ex-boyfriend rant song (that I hate to admit I find extremely catchy). No wonder T Swift is surprised every time people express ‘like’ towards her music… She’s 22. And she should start acting like it.
I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, “Never say never…”
Huh, so he calls me up and he’s like, “I still love you,”
And I’m like… “I just… I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever”
Thoughts?
Category: Celeb Gossip, Entertainment, General
About the Author (Author Profile)
Samantha is a Boston based 20-something who owns way too many clothes and and is openly addicted to teen dramas such as Pretty Little Liars. After graduating from Ithaca College, she started up Forever Twenty Somethings, a blog-turned-online-magazine about adjusting to life after college. Now she spends her days working full-time in television and whatever free time she has managing and writing for the website.Subscribe
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- What Happened This Year? 2012 Recap : Forever Twenty Somethings | December 31, 2012
Usually I agree with your posts whole-heartedly, but on this one I coulnd’t disagree more! In the land of the break-up song, Taylor is the undisputed queen, and in my opinion Miss Swifty can do no wrong.
Also I’ve been listening to WANEGBT (sweet acronym, yes?) on repeat since last Tuesday. So catchy!
Hilarious! Maybe the younger guy will be a good match for her for the next 3 months.
Actually Harry Styles and Taylor are headed for the altar.
The most immature song like ever!
She ve got a Serious Emotional Problemz
Yes, Taylor just LOVES dating anyone thats why she did an article for vogue about how she enjoys being single.
And FYI better than revenge isn’t about Joe get ur facts straight. Have u even heard her songs? Cause the crap u say doesn’t make sense? And the reason she hid that she was dating conor for a while is because of the fact she wants attention.
Doesn’t make sense?! Well I thought u like that stuff because ur article doesn’t make sense. U damned Taylor!? U don’t even know what tat means?! There are people out there who talk about drugs in their but taylor just talks about love. Taylor has never sworn in her life, she has loved (deal with it), she is my therapy and the best role model I’ll ever have. Respect that.
A bit jealous are we, Samantha???
Taylor is a great role model for tweens/teens and young women. At least you don’t hear about her being arrested for drugs, drinking and driving, public intoxication, stealing, etc. She is a respectable young lady, and this grandmother appreciates her for who she is. Not to mention, I enjoy her songs! So, she writes about her relationships…many of us like this about her.
Stop hating Samantha.
Ok… For some reason people can write songs about how they get money and do hoes and smoke weed and thats all their music ever talk about and peopke never say anything but when taylor writes about her dif relationships everyone starts hating… She is still young and is a great rolemodel for girls. Here is a simple solution. Stop listening to her music if u dont like it
I know, right! She doesn’t do any of those things and that should be respected. It’s just that media will find anything on anyone famous to criticize. It is quite weird that we don’t hear much criticism about all the immoral songs out there…like they are cool or something so we don’t dare speak against them. But Taylor gets so much criticism. This is a backwards world.
Also, Enchanted is all about being enchanted by the guy, doesn’t seem like it is anything against him or embarrassing for him. And she does right “pro” songs about guys like Taylor and other “falling in love” songs. As for the short relationships, I do wish she didn’t move from one guy to the next, but I think it’s good that if she figures out they’re not right for each other that they end quickly. It would be a waste of time to stay in a relationship that wasn’t right, and harder to let go after a longer time. It sounds like people who have these really long relationships and break-up are really scarred for a long time. All of my relationships have been very short…just haven’t found the right person to want to invest that much time into if it’s not right, and I guess neither has she.
Great article! hit the nail on the head. She was a great, promising young artist 7 years ago, only promising to get better. But she has seemed to only regress; in talent and maturity. You want to know real pain, Taylor? experience real loss or spend more than 3 months with someone and really fall in love with each other before spreading those chicken legs of yours. You may be rich beyond belief, but you will only be a punchline ex gf unless you evolve; as an artist and as a person. Luckily, there will always gullible 12 yr old girls who like you before they themselves evolve and shove your albums to the back with nsync and britney spears.
And now, she’s dating Harry, MAN, he’s junger..
100%agree
WFT is wrong with Taylor?
I mean,.. now Harry Styles broke up with her
and she diserves it,. ’cause she’s totally a HORE.
she had SO MANY boyfriends right now,. that makes she a nasty person,. u know…. and those are the boys who we know.! what about those that they’re not famous? i mean,. please girl what do you want? even more fame? that’s ridiculous.! and ’bout Yohn Mayer,. -.- it’s just EMBARRASSING.!
I think the break up songs are getting old. I’ve always loved Taylor’s music but I think her hit single “WANEGBT” was horrible. I used to look up to her when I was younger but then I started realizing that there’s no use looking up to someone if they date every guy in Hollywood and if they’re labelled the queen of breakup songs. Because it’s like she dates these guys JUST to write a song about them. And I just think she’s in love with the idea of love.
Her songs touch desperate young girls because she loves like a desperate young girl. I admit I was once young and desperately in love but I’m 16 now and even I can last in a relationship longer than Taylor can.
She’s young, successful and beautiful, all she needs to do now is grow up and find some new inspiration other than her horrible way of getting back at her ex’s. I’m so over Taylor Swift.
i love you samantha. this is what i always wanted to say.
i love you samantha. this is what i always wanted to say. taylor is beautiful and talented, but she really needs to show some maturity.