We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
What are those italicized word above you ask? A text from a 16 year old to her now ex-bf? A hand game played by 12 year old kids at summer camp? An auto-tuned pop song by Rebecca Black?
Those are the words of 22 year old Taylor Swift straight from her newest single. Surprised? No. Over it? Yes.
Taylor Swift is a stage 10 clinger. She dates everyone, but once she gets too close the dude is like get this cray b*tch away from me… but it’s too late. T Swift has already been working on about 5 songs that discuss their relationship, fights, inevitable break up, and other extremely personal – and highly immature – ‘issues.’
Swift hasn’t lasted a year in any relationship since she was 18 (and possibly before that too) and there is probably a good reason for that. She dated Joe Jonas for 3 months in 2008 (when the Jo-bros were all the rage) and supposedly wrote a few songs about him after they broke up including Forever and Always, Last Kiss and Better than Revenge… But, I mean, how do you feel so many feelings that result in multiple post-breakup songs after dating someone for 3 months? THREE MONTHS. I don’t know.
After that, she dated Taylor Lautner (yes – they had the same name) for a quick 2 months in 2009 (when Twilight was at it’s prime). After they broke up, she wrote Back to December based on their relationship and the fact that she didn’t like him as much as he liked her. But umm… there’s really no need to apologize to someone after dating them for TWO MONTHS and realizing that. I mean really. It’s normal.
Next, she dated John Mayer for a few months and then wrote the song, Dear John, about him after they broke up. He was of course humiliated that Tay would write about a song about him and dubbed the lyrics as ‘cheap songwriting.’ Well, duh she wrote a song about you John… and duh it was horrible. What did you expect? It’s Taylor f*cking Swift. If you don’t want a song written about you that will most likely hit number 1 on the pop charts and be sung by 12 year old girls in their mirrors, don’t date Taylor Swift. It’s simple.
Taylor’s most recent celebrity ex is Jake Gyllenhaal, who broke up with her through a text after they dated for 3 months in January 2011. No song has been written about him yet (or so we think), but the new horribly written ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together‘ (yes that is the song’s name) could possibly be about him…
And now, if you haven’t heard, Taylor Swift is dating Conor Kennedy. Yes, one of THE Kennedys, who just graduated from high school. If Taylor was a real person she would have already graduated from college AKA she is too old to be dating a boy who just graduated high school. I mean, she just dated a guy almost 10 years older than her before this. What is she thinking? Oh that’s right. Taylor is OBSESSED with the Kennedy family. And it’s election season. And she loves dating guys of the moment. Just think what great songs could come out of this breakup during election season. A politically powered song about a boy who just lost his mom and the house she bought next to his. And yes – They’ve only been dating a short time and she already bought a house next to his family’s home… That’s not creepy at all! Right? Well at least she’s never ever (ever) getting back together with her ex. Things are looking good for Conor, as long as he can keep up with the cling and the overexposure of their relationship on iTunes.
Basically, if you date Taylor Swift you are bound to hear stories of your private life on the radio. Even if you DON’T date Taylor Swift you’re screwed. Adam Young of Owl City simply had a crush on T Swift and she wrote Enchanted about him. Like, sorry I didn’t have feelings for you, but here’s a song to make you feel even more rejected. Damn you T Swift and your compulsive dating habit… and your ability to make every guy drool over you despite the fact you develop so many feelings in such a short amount of time.
And with that, here are more lyrics from her newest
poorly written ex-boyfriend rant song (that I hate to admit I find extremely catchy). No wonder T Swift is surprised every time people express ‘like’ towards her music… She’s 22. And she should start acting like it.
I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, “Never say never…”
Huh, so he calls me up and he’s like, “I still love you,”
And I’m like… “I just… I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever”
About the Author (Author Profile)Samantha is a Boston based 20-something who owns way too many clothes and and is openly addicted to teen dramas such as Pretty Little Liars. After graduating from Ithaca College, she started up Forever Twenty Somethings, a blog-turned-online-magazine about adjusting to life after college. Now she spends her days working full-time in television and whatever free time she has managing and writing for the website.
Sites That Link to this Post
- What Happened This Year? 2012 Recap : Forever Twenty Somethings | December 31, 2012