Relationsh*t: When Guys Need To Grow Up

Did someone put a sign on my back that says, “Please, if you are emotionally unstable and a train wreck, I want to date you?” Seriously. I swear I am a walking target for every man that has severe issues and refuses to do anything about them. It is either that or that every man on the planet is unstable, which I seriously hope not or this wedding planner is going to be doing a whole lot of 27 Dresses bullshit for the rest of her life.

The part that bothers me most is that there is such a double standard. Girls are known for being emotional, clingy and loose cannons. But at least we know what we want and can express how we feel (not every girl… but many of us). We don’t have the emotional range of a brick wall. When a guy can’t say so much as “I care about you” and acts completely opposite, we’re the crazy ones. Sorry for misunderstanding the constant “I don’t know what I would do without you.” My B.

I was dating a guy child for the last year. In the beginning he was openly honest about how he felt about me, in a good way. There were always cute comments before bed and loving texts in the morning. I’ve always had trust issues and it certainly took me a while to feel comfortable. But I am not going to lie; I never felt 100% confident in this relationship.

One morning I left for work as usual. There was a kiss goodbye and an “I love you.” But then out of no where I was later texted – Yes, TEXTED – that he couldn’t do ‘it’ anymore. It being our relationship. Meanwhile, everything (in my eyes) was fine. Two weeks earlier, he had asked me to move in with him for the summer. However, at that point, we hadn’t even been together for a year yet, so it was obviously too early to even think about moving in together. Sure I stayed there for the majority of the week, but since I wasn’t living there, I always knew not to leave clothes there. A girl does not leave her clothing anywhere where if shit went down, she wouldn’t be able to get them back. There is way too much J.Crew for that kind of tragedy.

A week after the sudden breakup, he apologized and said he couldn’t live without me. I made it clear that if we got back together he couldn’t mess with my head anymore. And even though I knew I couldn’t be 100% sure of this, I wanted to try and make it work. I still cared about him enough and believed that the impromptu breakup was due to him freaking out because everyone and their mother is getting married or engaged (for real – stop that). Which might I add, I want no part in any time soon. I am a few years younger than him and getting married, for me, is not on my radar right now.

During take-two of our relationship he made plenty of effort. We even went on an amazing vacation. However,  it was never enough and there was no going back to how it used to be. We never said “I love you” again… and never spoke about it. Talk about a BIG, fat, ugly elephant sitting in the room. I love elephants, but this one; not cute.

Without fail, I – the lush – got drunk and brought it up. And when I tell you he flipped out, I could have fucked every man in the country and it would not have fit the bill. Some time during our fight, he left the apartment, never came back and STILL, after a week, has not answered the phone or apologized.

That shit is not going to roll with me. I mean, let me get this straight; because I am female, I’m the psycho? I don’t throw fits when I am asked a serious question (unless I hate you of course), so blowing up over something that needed to be discussed – not okay.

All of this nonsense leads me to the ultimate question: How does a girl ever feel comfortable enough in a relationship that she is not afraid every single morning that her man might just change his mind at the drop of a hat? Guys say we’re crazy because we ask too many questions or have too much doubt. But guys – do you really blame us? It’s like living on a giant roller coaster. One day you’re in love. The next day you don’t want to be bothered. Do us a favor… figure out your shit. Don’t ask a girl to be your girlfriend if you don’t want one. Don’t tell a girl you love her and the next day decide to walk away. Be single. And if you can’t, go to therapy and work through your issues. Otherwise, you are going to live a very long, lonely life with no one to love you or come home to at the end of the day.

3 Comments
  1. However, I think that two people in a relationship usually have the same amount of issues. After all, you chose this guy and took him back after he broke up with you over a text. You also already said you have trust issues. Sometimes its better to be single and work on your own issues than be in a relationship – at least thats what I am doing right now..

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