Hey: The meaning of this all too familiar text first depends on whether or not you are dating. If you’re dating, you have a boyfriend who is bored and not very good with words. And if you’re not dating, you have yourself a problem. The main problem being that he didn’t ask you a question… so what are you supposed to say back? Your response – and his reason of texting you ‘hey’ depends on what time the text is sent. If it is sent between the hours of 7am and 12pm, you have yourself a stage 5 clinger. Why is he texting you for no reason so early? Between 12pm and 8pm, the ‘hey’ text is okay… but it can get annoying quick. Especially if he does it on a regular basis. Like, ask me an effing question. Now if the ‘hey’ text is between 8pm and 7am, you have a guy who wants to hook up. He’s not bothering to talk to you during the day. And now that he is making the ‘effort’ of texting you, he’s not even asking what you’re doing. And that’s because he doesn’t care what you’re doing. He just wants to see if you respond to his effortless mating call. And if you do, you’ll be on speed dial. P.S. The later the text, the hornier the guy.

Ya/yeah/yup: We can interpret these any way we want, girls, but the message is all the same. ‘I don’t care enough to give you more than a one word answer and/or ask you a question back in return.’ There is no over-analyzing that needs to be done here. The message is the same if you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years or if you met and hooked up last week. If you keep texting him and receiving the same or different variations of the word ‘yes,’ this dude is annoyed and you need to stop texting him ASAP.

What’s up: There are a few versions/instances of this text. If a guy texts you ‘what’s up?’ out of the blue he might actually care what is going on with you (unless its at night… then he just wants to know if you’re available to give him head). But if the guy responds with ‘what’s up’ (sans question mark) to your ‘Hey! How’s it going?‘ or ‘Hey! How are you?,’ he is either too busy to talk to you (nevermind read/answer the question you asked him first) or he just doesn’t want to talk to you at all. ‘What’s up‘ is a very cryptic term. Especially when no question mark is involved… Like, does he want an answer? Even if there is a question mark, he didn’t ask what you were doing. He ‘asked’ what was up. Hmm, I know what’s up. The ceiling, the sky, your dick? Are we in 7th grade chatting on AIM? The situation gets worse when you answer him and respond with a follow-up ‘what’s up‘ question and he responds in middle-school-abbreves… types being NMU, NM, nothin, JC, etc. Like are you serious? If you’re actually dating this fool straight up tell him what an idiot he’s being. And if you’re not, run far away in the opposite direction.

K: The worst. You tell him something and he responds ‘k.’ He can’t even make the extra effort of typing ‘okay’ or even ‘ok.’ This guy just doesn’t want to talk to you right now. He also knows if he doesn’t answer you, you will keep texting him until you receive a response, so instead of ignoring you he acknowledges your text in hopes that you won’t respond. And he does it with a one word, one letter response – ‘k.’ Who even knows if he read your initial text.

‘It was good:’ If he responds to your ‘how was your day?’ question with this answer, he again wants to get you off his case without actually talking to you. He’s responding to your text with vague and unfriendly answers so you will eventually stop bombarding him with questions and get the message – he’s just not that into you. If he wanted to talk, he would ask you how your day was in return by simply saying ‘you’ after… OR he would go into some detail about his day.

Miss you (too): This phrase can hold such different meaning than ‘I miss you.’ Yes – the meaning changes just by simply putting an I at the beginning. Does he really miss you? Or does he just want to hook up? If you said it first, and he responds ‘miss you too,’ this is most likely out of respect since it’s kind of awkward to not say it back. If he really missed you, he would use I. It’s like saying ‘love you’ instead of ‘I love you.’ It’s not as personal. It’s quick and easy. Kind of like how he sees you.

An answer the next day: If you text a guy and get an answer 12 hours later… or the next day… he doesn’t care about you or else he would find time to answer. Sure, if he was bored and alone he would have texted you back. But he wasn’t. He had better things to do. He was busy. But don’t sit there and validate his ‘busy’ excuse. When you’re busy, do you take 12 – 24 hours off texting? Doubt it. If he really likes you he will find time in his busy day to respond to you. Do you really think he didn’t text or call anyone in the long amount of time it took him to respond to you? Prob not. Yes, he is answering you and not ignoring you… but it’s only because he’s now bored with nothing to do and he knows you’re there. Waiting for his text.

NO TEXT AT ALL: If he’s not texting you, stop waiting for him to. And if you’re really not sleeping over the absense of his text, send him one yourself (that is, if you have his number). And if he doesn’t text you back, stop texting him. Texting is basically the easiest form of communication. You don’t have to speak face to face. You don’t have to speak at all. You don’t have to email, where you will feel like you should be somewhat professional with your words… and you have to worry about the cyber paper trail. You don’t have to sit there chatting to him on AIM or Facebook knowing very well if he’s sitting on the other end of the … router?. You don’t have to feel awkward like you can’t take your time to think of a clever response if he does happen to answer you because he can see if you’re typing. So if he’s not texting you, give it up. Find/text someone else.

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Samantha is a typical 20-something who owns way too many clothes and is openly addicted to Pretty Little Liars. She used to like bagels, but then she found out she was gluten free. Now she loves them. #shewantswhatshecanthave. After graduating from Ithaca College way back in 2010, Sam started up this really cool online magazine/blog that you're reading, which now consumes her life. If you want to grab a drink with Sam, just ask her. She hasn't yet learned how to say the word "no." Watch her rise to (Internet) fame on Twitter at @samanthamatt1 and @forever20tweets.

2 Responses to “What His Texts Really Mean” Subscribe

  1. Jade April 3, 2013 at 9:04 pm #

    I understand this point of view, but I feel that it is one from someone who texts a lot.

    Personally, I don’t text a lot and don’t always reply within the day, myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them, but if I’m with other people I don’t want to be rude and have my face in my phone all the time.
    In other words, the time in which it takes me to reply to a message is not a statement of their importance to me. If I’ve skimmed over the text and it is urgent, of course I will reply but if not, I’ll get to it later.

    • James June 9, 2013 at 1:11 am #

      I think the lack of response from either gender is pretty clear what it means, that the person isn’t REALLY that interested. I don’t expect a text or reply to texts all the time right when I get them if I’m busy like you said sometimes your out with other people and you shouldn’t text while talking to them ( a lot of ppl I know still do) but you should be able to reply to someone within a day if they are your friend or if you are interested in them. If you can’t find a minute to text someone back, then chances are you probably don’t have time to date them either and aren’t really that into them either.

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