The Post Grad Burn Book: 21. Friends Getting Married

Okay DO NOT think I am a total bitch.  Let me start by saying I am in LOVE with my friends.  I would go to the moon and back for them, and if they can stand to listen and deal with me complaining about life and my weird anxieties…God bless them, forreal.  But somehow without warning, I am at the age where my facebook and own life are BLOWING UP with wedding fever…all day everyday.

First it started with the random people I’m still “friends” with on Facebook from middle/high school who now have become more like acquaintances rather than friends if I’m going to be honest.  BAM!  Crowding up my newsfeed with their wedding photos and of course I have to click on them to stalk them endlessly because why else would they be on the book?  And all I can do is judge the photos.  Judgey McJudgerson.  Com’on do not leave me hanging—because I know other people do the same thing.  It’s hard not to, especially as a girl who someday hopes to have a wedding of her own.  You get to see what you like and don’t like for yourself.  So my judgements aren’t even that bad… it could be worse and I could comment on how I think their new husband looks like the troll who lives under the bridge.  I digress.

Facebook has become a constant reminder…I am at the age where I can get married.

Christ on a cracker—it’s such a scary thought.  I am adult enough to make that decision and people not even bat an eyelash which brings me to my actual, physical REAL LIFE friends making this decision.  It’s HUGE.  It’s massive, it’s so big that my single girl self can’t even fathom the time, stress, and money of actually giving a wedding.  I’m still in the phase of “say what…free booze, I’m in.”  Class act, that’s me.  And don’t even get me started if you are included IN the wedding…that financial burden is a whole other burn forreal (cha-ching!) But it’s the fact that my conversations with my friends have gone from “you know who I saw doing the walk of shame” to “do you like lilac or lavender for my colors?”  It’s accepting that not only do I have to adjust to this adult life which sucks like ninety percent of the time but also accepting that my friends are becoming people’s wives and doing crap that I am nowhere near…and I’m over it.

It may be a little harsh but I’m putting my foot down.  No, girl I played field hockey with in 10th grade I don’t want to see 25 photos of your diamond.  And no, I don’t want to discuss the possibility of me reading “Love is Patient” in front of your entire wedding.  I want to shut down it all down, pour myself a bottle of wine, and wait for the wedding madness to pass…that is, until it’s my turn.

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