10 Sentences I Never Thought I’d Say

1. “It’s 6PM and I’m hungover…still”

4th of July.  It came, it happened, I drank.  July 5th.  It came, it happened, a hangover.  The day drinking that turned into night drinking which used to happen on the regular during college but now, four years later…I can’t hang.  Heartbreaking realization that hangovers will now last ALL DAMN DAY.  No matter if I drink till 2pm, 8pm, or 1am.  Hello, Hangover we will be friends for twenty-four hours.

2. “I’m not sure I want to raise kids in the city”

Let’s start off by saying…I’m as single as they come.  No ring is on my future and furthermore no offspring are either but lately I have found myself exploring Los Angeles wondering—where the eff can I raise some stand up kids?  Obviously I want my kids to have a bangerang childhood like I did—playing kickball in the street and capture the flag in the woods—but wait, LA only has the desert and the only people “playing” in the street are homeless…so I’m stuck in this dilemma but LUCKY for me I don’t have really worry about this for another 7 plus years.

3. “I started paying more of my student loan off”

I know, we bitch we are so broke and can’t afford anything but a can of tuna but I thought what if instead of buying a $20 cocktail on a random Friday night I put that $20 towards my student loan every month.  Suddenly, BOOM.  I’m becoming a responsible adult—how and when that happened is beyond me but let me tell you how nice it’s going to be to not be in debt up to my eyeballs at 55.  SELF HIGH-FIVE!

4. “I got a new credit card to build my credit”

I got it more to build points to buy free flights to go see east coast family…but it’s all the same.  Swipe, swipe equals better credit score and I actually CARE about that. Weird.

5.  “Do I have to wear heels?”

I used to be in awe of Carrie Bradshaw and all the fabulous women who rocked high heels every day.  I couldn’t wait to be them but now…they are my death.  Unless they are a wedge or platform I can’t last a night in them.  There was a time I wore them to a gross college bar and then WALKED home in the them and didn’t feel any pain or annoyance with my shoes.  Mind-blowing.

6. “I don’t mind being alone”

I’m not saying that I want to become a cat lady and be a bachelorette forever, but I think I have found peace and enjoyment out of the nights of hanging out with myself after work or on the occasional Saturday night.  It’s nice to decompress without a roommate or boyfriend around.  To kick back in your bathrobe and turn on “Arrested Development” and laugh out loud to no one.  A little me time in moderation—I totally recommend it.

7. “I want to go dancing but don’t know where”

I was that girl when I was 21.  I would go to the clubs at 9:30 to beat the lines and then stand in an empty club with a few of my girlfriends until the club got crowded two hours later.  I loved the club scene and pretend my life was like Lauren Conrad’s.  She was my club guru and if they were at that club on “The Hills” I was there too.  Now, years later I couldn’t name a club if I wanted to.  I would literally have to google or yelp it to find out where the kids go to dance these days.

8. “I’m going to plan a trip for myself”

Being from the east coast and living on the west coast is super hard when you need to go back and forth on multiple occasions for family obligations, weddings, reunions, etc.  All my flights and travels that I have booked have been just that and I realized that I need to start thinking about myself and taking a vacation FOR myself and be a little selfish when I am young and unattached and go to new places that I want to explore.

9. “I signed up for a cooking class”

My goal to be the ultimate housewife continues.  I have always loved to bake and cook and try new recipes but lately, I have wanted to try to be more legit and professional and try something new.  We’ll see how it goes…I could come back from class with no eyebrows.

10.  “I don’t have the patience for Forever 21″

Forever 21 has stepped up it’s game in the last few years, however, unless I am looking for something specific I find that store absolutely daunting and I cannot go in there unless I am in the right state of mind.  It’s a time warp you work through a quarter of their racks and you have ten pieces on your arm  and its already an hour later.  You still have half the store to go through and they only allow like six pieces in for the dressing room–unreal.  I used to not be phased by the crowds of girls and disorganization now it bothers me to no end.

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