As a newly independent twenty something who is new to the whole 9-5 job thing I have encountered some challenges. Allow me to share them with you…I give you the: The Morning Struggle.
I typically try to look my best. I’m not one of those chicks that freaks out if a guy sees me without makeup or my hair done, in fact, once I hook a guy I rarely wear makeup or do my hair at all – BUT I would rather look somewhat put together for work than resemble a homeless naked mole rat climbing up from the sewer. Nobody wants to look at that Monday morning at the office. I digress…
As a bit of a side note…I have extremely unruly frizzy and curly hair – therefore the unkempt “children of the corn” look comes quite easily to me. Straightening my hair is a lengthy process; it involves sectioning, combing, tools, products, heat… ugh! I’m sure you know where I am going with this…Incase you have no clue and are completely lost, I will explain.
Every morning, before I even get out of bed, there is a struggle of epic proportion. Do I do my hair? Do I do my makeup? Do I do both? Let’s see, if I put my hair in a topknot that shaves about 30 minutes off my prep time – that means another half hour of sleep. Oh, but wait we have the big meeting today; I should probably do my hair. But ugh, my bed is so cozy. So comfy… can’t move! Please tell me I am not the only person that thinks like this.
In addition to the “do I actually make myself look presentable struggle” there is also the monumental snooze button struggle. Sometimes I “snooze” for 45 minutes to an hour. Why do I do this? Do I really think it’s going to be THAT much easier to get my ass out of bed in 9 minutes. Ps. Ever since I updated my phone my alarm snoozes for 9 minutes oppose to 10. What is the thought process behind that Apple? I’m confused. Maybe it’s just my phone? Explain this to me.
Okay, so I finally decide we are going with the sock bun look today BUT this means I need to do my makeup. One or the other, I either do my hair or do my makeup. The struggle with makeup – how much is too much for the office? I don’t want to look like I’m ready for a night of clubbing at Karma (Jersey Shore reference, get on my level) but I also don’t want people to ask me if I’m sick. Isn’t that just the worst question?
“You look tired or are you sick?”
No asshole, I just didn’t have time to put any makeup on and am riding the struggle bus this morning – GOD! That’s such a rude question. When I’m tired and or sick I look like straight hell, so you telling me I look tired and then asking me if I am sick is essentially you saying I look like shit. Thanks.
Sorry, but seriously? Who says that!
I typically decide to go with black winged liner and mascara, always a safe choice! But once again, the struggle! Putting on eyeliner when you are still half asleep and haven’t had your morning ice coffee yet is a fucking challenge. It’s hard enough to apply makeup when you are fully awake, add in lack of sleep, no coffee and the fact that it’s 7:30 in the morning – impossible! Now comes the mascara. I think that I poke myself in the eye 4 out of 5 mornings a week. It hurts. Then I need a makeup wipe to fix my mistake, a tissue to stop my eyes from watering, therapy for three months AND my makeup still isn’t done.
Now I need to get dressed. Why do I never have any fucking clothes???? I spend all my money on clothes but where do they go? Everything that looked cute in the store or seemed like a great deal at the time now looks hideous and gives me a muffin top. Once again I give you #thestruggle. As soon as I finally do find something to wear; I typically get deodorant or toothpaste on it AND IT SHOWS because I’m wearing black. Half my wardrobe is bright colors but when it’s cold out it really doesn’t seem appropriate to wear a hot pink blouse, actually it seems quite obnoxious. Like really, let me wear my black and be depressed that it’s only January and I won’t be in a bikini until July.
The last issue that I have every morning is deciding whether to put my lipstick/stain/gloss WHATEVER on before leaving the house or waiting until I arrive at work. I have a 30-minute commute and a coffee to drink. Most likely by the time I get to work my beautiful coral lip will be all over my ice coffee straw. I typically tell myself I will apply my lip color in the parking lot – this never happens. Instead my lips remain bare and dry for the rest of the day because I’m indecisive and lazy in the morning.
Does anyone understand a little bit or ALL of my morning struggle? Or do I now just seem completely crazy and unstable? I feel like this must be somewhat normal because all girls are the same. We want to look good but don’t really want to take the time to do so. As always, I wish you beauty, booze and buck$. Good luck with your own #morningstruggle.
The struggle is real people, the struggle is real!