My Pretty Little Liars recaps have been resurrected (much like Alison) by popular demand (not like Alison). Hope you enjoy. Leave your thoughts and theories in the comments!
Okay, is it just me or SHOULD WE JUST STAB SPENCER? She is getting slightly annoying, especially with this whole adderall ordeal. I feel like I’ve just time traveled back to the early 90s and am watching Full House and the show is trying to teach me a lesson AKA that prescription drugs not for you are bad. Well duh, but why is adderall messing Spencer up so much? It’s kind of over the top. Like, why is adderall making her do weird things like sleep walk to school? If she was really taking adderall, she wouldn’t be sleep walking… Adderall makes you stay awake, get shit done, and lose weight. I understand everyone is freaking out about Spencers’ issues… but let’s not freak about her drug intake. Let’s freak about how much of a freak she is. Because frankly, I don’t think it just has to do with a couple adderall pills.
Anyway, Spencer totally tried to kill Ali. She probably did it while sleepwalking. If you can sleep walk to school, anything is possible. SPENCER IS TOTALLY SCHIZOPHRENIC.
If I was Lucy Hale, I would have said NO WAY to that scene where she had to be filmed from a low angle and cry. Like, those two things can make the most beautiful person look unattractive and fat. And while Lucy Hale is beautiful (girl crush for life), that scene did not do her justice. Ugh.
ANYWAY, I’m happy she finally figured out that her creepy boyfriend is a creep. Although that was pretty obvious from day one when he, a 20-something dude, wanted to date a teenager who just so happened to be his student. Although, if she was suspicious of her boyfriend being A, why would she go into his creepy cottage by herself? And why was the code to get in “B26?” What does that mean? I was kind of hoping it would be “Shakespeare.” WHAT NERDS.
I was pretty psyched when Ezra started crying while telling Aria that he was writing a “true crime” book on Ali’s disappearance because I called this from DAY ONE. Ezra used to apparently fuck Ali (gross) when he was in college… which means that she was like 14 when this happened so that is disgusting. How could he mistake a 14 year old for a college student? Like helloooooooooooo, are you a moron? Yes. Also, wasn’t he engaged to that Jackie person?
So now we are left wondering… was Ezra telling the truth? He is definitely writing a book, but is that ALL he’s up to? Does he suspect that the liars (or one of them… coughspencercough) tried to kill his beloved Ali (who he may or may not have gotten pregnant) and that’s why he got close to Aria? Or is he just an evil creep? I mean, why does he have Mona dating Aria’s brother? What does he need her to do?
ALSO, HOW DID EZRA AND ARIA GET DOWN FROM THE SKI LIFT? WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY DID GET DOWN? AND WHY DIDN’T EZRA OR ARIA PICK UP THE BOOK PAGES WHEN THEY STEPPED FOOT ON THE GROUND? It makes no sense. And the gloved person picking up the pages at the end — was that Ezra? I kind of hope so or else he would be screwed because he did not save the files IN the computer (said in my best Zoolander voice).
Hanna and Emily
What happened to Paige? How did Hanna get over Caleb so quickly? And what happened to that bald dude she made out with a few episodes ago? Why are Hanna and Emily so boring now? UGH MOVING ON.
Why does Toby not go to school? Can I have his life?
Why would he expect Mona to say “I love you” after maybe one or two dates? If he really felt that way, wouldn’t he just say it himself? Also – is Mona’s mission to do something bad to Mike? Because that would be sad. WHERE IS THEIR DAD?