What lies below is a collection of a song that I feel best represents every single year of grade school. Join me on this adventure back in time to the days of Spice Girls, BSB and Hanson. Let the nostalgia begin:
Kindergarten: Mmmbop by Hanson
Ah, yes… the song that ignited my first ever crush: Zac Hanson, how I loved you. Nobody ever knew what the song was actually about but we still sang along and used up all over our family printer’s colored ink printing out posters of these One Hit Wonders.
1st Grade: Wannabe
The year that “Girl Power” and platform pleather shoes seemed cool. Lots of dancing around with feather boas, making up dances that were WAY too sexual for 7 year olds and singing lyrics like “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friend…” Now that I think about it, it’s just awkward.
2nd Grade: My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
Titanic…the time in my life where EVERYONE was allowed to go see this amazing PG13 movie except me. I was only allowed to listen to the soundtrack but believe me, I knew every single word. This was also the time in our lives where everyone was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio and I still loved Zac Hanson.
3rd Grade: I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys
Even my 3rd Grade teacher was OBSESSED with this song. We listened to it almost every morning on her boom-box. This is when everyone argued over who got to marry Nick and who was going to get stuck with Howie. I typically ended up with Brian… In later years have reflected on this and I think which Backstreet Boy you got to marry was symbolic of your popularity status.
4th Grade: Bye Bye Bye by N*SYNC
Raise your hand if you owned the “No Strings Attached” cassette tape! Because I sure did. I’m surprised my mom didn’t murder me for making her rewind and replay track #1 at least 3 times just on the drive to school. I knew the choreography, I knew the hand motions, I even insisted on getting “Darren’s Dance Grooves” VHS for Christmas so that I could learn the OFFICIAL choreography.
5th Grade: I’m Real (Remix) by J.Lo featuring Ja Rule
My 5th grade experience is defined by my memories of sitting on the bus listening to this song on my portable CD player with my friend and screaming “AND WHEN I’M FEELING SEXY WHO’S GONNA COMFORT ME?” at the top of my lungs. Clearly I did not understand what this song was about.
6th Grade: Hot in Herre by Nelly
The song that every middle school teacher still fears will be played at dances; also the song that my mom banned from the house after hearing it just once.
7th Grade (there are two songs for this year because I was filled with lots of pre-pubescent angst as well as the need to shake my booty)
Party Song: Me Against The Music by Britney Spears – This song was in my first cheerleading routine ever and therefore I know every word AND the official Britney dance.
Emotional/Depressed Teenage Song: Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan – After a particularly rough day doing long division I liked to blare this on my Hot Pink iPod Mini.
Yeah! by Usher
This was the song you dropped it low to at middle school dances. Personally my favorite part was when the song says “Usher got the voice to make your booty go *smack*” at which time whatever boy I was dancing with would slap the side of my ass…believe it or not I did not grow up to be a complete hoe. Surprising though due to this behavior.
9th Grade: My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas
It’s super awkward to think about 14 year old me singing this song in public. That’s all I have to say about this song.
10th Grade: SexyBack by Justin Timberlake
The song that had everyone questioning: when did sexy ever leave? Maybe it left after a million 5th graders sang “and when I’m feeling sexy…” idk. Regardless, JT brought sexy back.
11th Grade: Umbrella by Rihanna
Perhaps one of the most annoying songs ever and the fact that Chris Brown a remix about being someone’s Cinderella makes it that much more terrible. Nevertheless, it was a junior class favorite at my high school. Once it’s in your head, good luck getting it out. Infact, I’m singing it now.
Under my um-ber-ella ay-ay-ay under my um-ber-ella
12th Grade: When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls
Super ironic that as high school seniors this was our favorite song. It’s also super awkward that it totally sounds like: “…I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have BOOBIES!” Come on PCD you totally did that on purpose, don’t even try to tell me you didn’t. FYI, the actually lyrics are “groupies” but if you are like me, you still sing it the mature way and say BOOBIES!