6 Things to Stress Over: The Wedding Edition

Here are some things you are going to need to start thinking about / stressing over.

1. An outfit for your Bridal Shower

Like many brides, I know the date of my bridal shower but that’s about it. I have no idea where it is, what time of day or the venue. Will it be casual? Will it be formal? Will it be cold in September? Can I still wear white after Labor Day? Is it at a bar? Or is it at a bowling alley? For those of you that don’t know me I tend to stress and worry over things I have absolutely no control over. And well, you guessed it, I have zero control over my bridal shower, which I’m sure my MOH and bridesmaids are secretly stoked about.

I’m a bit of  a bargain shopper. I know you only get married once (fingers crossed, just kidding people) but I don’t want to break the bank even more then I already have.  After searching the internet for days, because the mall gives me anxiety, I finally found a dress at where else, Nordstrom Rack, a frugal fanny’s wet dream (ew, Erin you’re so gross).

Its white (shocker!), with lace detail on the sides. Its on the thinner side and relatively light weight, so I’m praying to the weather gods that it will be a nice September day. And if not, I’m totally prepared to pair my white dress with a cute black and red flannel or jean jacket. Nothing screams fall like a flannel.

2. An outfit for your Bachelorette Party

For some of you brides-to-be out there this might be very easy for you. I am a bit of a homebody so I don’t own any tight black dresses to prance around the city streets in. I lied, I think I have one but it’s from F21 and it has definitely seen better days; there might even be some neglected throw up splatter on it from my college days. Sorry I’m not sorry. Note to self: Throw away that gross, dingy F21 dress tonight after work.

Anyways, luckily I was able to score a cute Free People black lace dress from Nordstrom Rack as well. Oh ya! Time to change those undies bargainistas.

The back has a plunging V which is something I wouldn’t normally wear so it seems to be perfect for the occasion. I wish the plunging V was in the front but well, I am not, how do you say, blessed, so showing off my back is what I’m stuck with. It could be worse.

Since all my Facebook friends are all either married with kids or engaged and/or pregnant, my newsfeed has been inundated with bachelorette party photos.  It appears that the hot trend is for brides to wear white at their bachelorette parties too, buying white for my shower was hard enough so I’m sticking to black. Isn’t that the color of sin anyways? (Just kidding).

Maids and MOH: You bitches better be reading this. No tiara’s or sashes. I repeat. No tiara’s or sashes. I can feel my blood pressure rising.

 3. Welcome Bags

Apparently, these are a hot commodity. To be honest, up until literally today I didn’t even think about making welcome bags for our guests. Probably because most of our guests booked the hotel because they will be way too drunk to drive home and aren’t actually from out of town. With that being said, after little thought, I decided to create the ultimate welcome bags for our guests. Just a bunch of stuff that they would want and well, need. Spoiler Alert: The bag will be stuffed with an assortment of munchies, Advil, water, and a barf bag (too muchy?).

4.  Hair and Make-up Trial

I have so many pictures of hair and makeup pinned on my Pinterest board, I have forgotten half of them already and likely pinned them twice or shamefully three times. As amazing as Pinterest is, it is also awful all at the same time. Too many choices, too many photos, complete bridal hair sensory overload. I’ve a made a vow (no pun intended) to not look at anymore Pinterest photos before my trial next month. I hired a professional for a reason god damn it, I’m going to let her do her job! Not to mention I think 30 pictures of hair is more than enough.

5. An outfit for the Rehearsal Dinner

Here we go again with the damn outfits. Don’t get me wrong I love to shop but what is appropriate for a rehearsal dinner? I clearly have no idea because my wardrobe mainly consists of mark-downed workout clothes, t-shirts and jeans. Oh and that stained F21 dress I was telling you about.

My gut says white, ugh! Listen, I only react at that way because I am the messiest eater in the world. I swear, google ‘messiest eater in the world’ and my face pops up, mustard smear and all. God I’m attractive, I mentioned that someone actually wants to marry me right? This wedding is real!

6. Walking

Something we do every day and totally take for granted but walking down the “aisle” or my gravelly-rock-grass-hill as I like to call it, is definitely going to prove challenging. I hope the ankle gods are on my side and aren’t looking for some comic relief. Bloody palms and a grass stained ass is not a good look. Ever.

Erin Jean

Erin Jean is a Boston based smart mouth who lives in suburbia with her kick-ass husband, yes you read that correctly, I'm a married woman, people! She graduated from Endicott College in 2010 with a degree in Contemporary Journalism. She loves tattoos, writing, and slush (it’s an addiction people). When she is not working for the man, she is riding on the back of motorcycles, online shopping, and reminiscing about her younger years. A typical week consists of watching too much Bad Girls Club, mentally preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and trying to get a body like Mila Kunis (please insert laughter here). Feel free to stalk her life via pictures @mrsbadnews13 or on twitter @erinlissa

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