1. The “We Are At Completely Different Stages In Life” Friendship
This is the friendship where the two of you were both getting wild and crazy in the club a couple years ago, but now only one of you is still getting wild and crazy in the club. The other is MARRIED and/or taking care of CHILDREN while living in the SUBURBS. The two of you literally have nothing in common anymore and do not understand each other at all, but somehow you are still friends. And you can both drink to that. Unless one of you is pregnant. Then only one of you can drink to that 🙁
2. The “We Have Nothing In Common Anymore, But It Doesn’t Matter” Friendship
How did you even become friends in the first place? No one knows, but it doesn’t matter. Even though you’ve both grown up and like different music, clothes, restaurants, bars, guys, people, etc etc, you still have endless amounts of fun when you’re together. And you never run out of things to talk about. It’s weird.
3. The Long Distance Friendship
But every time you see each other, IT’S LIKE NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!! LIKE OMG!!!! You can go months without talking, but your friendship always remains the same.
4. The Friendship That Is Always There
Bored on a Friday and want someone to watch TV on the couch with? Going through a rough time with the boyfriend and need someone to complain to? Looking for a shopping companion to tell you yes, you should buy all of those things you can’t afford? This friend is always there to do anything you want to do. LOVE THEM!
5. The ” We’re Only Friends Because You’re Friends With My Friend” Friendship
This person would not be your friend if they were not friends with your friend. There’s really nothing else to say about this friend, because they aren’t really your friend. But you can (and will) pretend they are, so ‘tevs.
6. The “Only When She/He’s Not In A Relationship” Friendship
This friendship happens when you have a friend who disappears when they are dating someone. They are a completely different person when single and clearly, are not very good at multi-tasking. And before you get mad at this friend, think about it. If multi-tasking friendships AND a relationship was your problem, you’d probably choose sex too. Right?
7. The Daytime Friendship
This friendship is with your obligatory daytime friend. You don’t run in the same circle of friends, and you don’t like to do the same things on weekend nights, so you hang out during the day. Lunch, brunch, nails, shopping… this friend is your “girl friend.”
8. The “I Secretly Want To Fuck You” Friendship
This friendship seems friendly on the outside, but is not actually a friendship on the inside. Whatever you do, don’t actually fuck this friend. Then what type of friend would they be? Mysteries are best when they remain mysteries forever.
9. The Boost-Of-Confidence Friendship
This is when you have a friend that is a hot ass mess that makes you feel good about your own life. You often feel like you don’t have you shit together, but when you hang out with this person, you realize you DO — and you have them to thank for that. Maybe this friend still gets blackout 3-5 days a week. Maybe this friend is delusionally dating 6 people they met on Tinder. Whatever the case, you love your hot mess friend. Life would be pretty boring and also depressing without them.
10. The Planned Friendship
Ugh, planning. This is a friendship where you’ve remained close with someone since graduating college, but they don’t live near you so every time you hang out it has to be a big event filled with either a long, expensive road trip/public transportation venture or a fun-filled weekend at your place where you have to put all your errands off until Sunday night. Since when did you start worrying about errands? YOU OLD AS F*CK GURL.
11. The Forced Friendship
This is usually the friendship that exists between family members and family friends. And yes, this includes your parents. Because in your twenties, your parents become your friends. Or that’s just what you decided ever since they took you off the family plan.