20 Signs You Have A Big Butt

1. You’ve said, even if only one time, “Watch out, fanny coming through” because let’s be honest, its big and it gets in the way.

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2. In high school, middle school, or maybe even now, your butt had/has a nickname. True life: my butt had a nick name in high school. What is it? I can’t tell you that. Okay, fine. It was EBA. Erin’s Big Ass.

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3. Sir Mix Alot’s “Baby Got Back” is your jam and you let everyone know it. Every time that song comes on the radio you start twerkin’ that thing like nobody’s business.

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4. You’ve heard “Say No to Crack” you whole life. Yes, I know my ass is hanging out of my jeans thank you very much and there ain’t nothing I can do about it.

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5. Your boyfriend, fiancé, or friend with benefits is constantly slapping, pinching, and grabbing your bum, but you don’t mind.

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6. When trying on clothes in the store you always turn around to see what your best asset looks like in your new duds.

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7. Jeans are the bane of your existence. They don’t fit, they aren’t created equal, and they are the absolute worst. Leggings FO LYFE.

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8. Shorts, ugh, shorts. You most likely don’t own any. Moving on.

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9. You think your ass resembles that of Beyonce’s. News Flash – It doesn’t.

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10. You are determined to keep that butt of yours perky.

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11. Thongs. Pssh. Your ass eats those for breakfast.

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12. It’s summer and time for a new bikini. You hit up Target, duh, and buy large bottoms because let’s be honest, nothing else is going to fit that big ole behind of yours.

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13. Shopping for workout leggings is tough. Almost every pair is see through. Thank gahhhdd for long tanks and sweat shirts.

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14. High waisted pants are your BFFL.

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15. Summer dresses and sk8r skirts are never quite long enough. Booty shorts are an absolute staple in your wardrobe.

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16. Your friends are constantly telling you that you’re not skinny but you’re not quite fat either, you’re just.. curvy. Da fuck does that mean?

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17. It could be worse, at least you are half of the equation. Ass and titties, ass and titties.

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18. You’ve never laughed harder than when your friends tell you, you can borrow a pair of their jeans or a bathing suit. Oh ya, thanks.. these will totally fit… Not.

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19. When you are dancing, drunk and/or sober, you are always backing that thanggg up. Girl, you looks good, won’t you back that azz up?

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20. Sitting on the floor indian style? No problem.  You have permanent butt cushions.

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Erin Jean

Erin Jean is a Boston based smart mouth who lives in suburbia with her kick-ass husband, yes you read that correctly, I'm a married woman, people! She graduated from Endicott College in 2010 with a degree in Contemporary Journalism. She loves tattoos, writing, and slush (it’s an addiction people). When she is not working for the man, she is riding on the back of motorcycles, online shopping, and reminiscing about her younger years. A typical week consists of watching too much Bad Girls Club, mentally preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and trying to get a body like Mila Kunis (please insert laughter here). Feel free to stalk her life via pictures @mrsbadnews13 or on twitter @erinlissa

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