The Bachelor Breakdown: Tractors, Zombies and Kisses

I’m watching and writing over coffee instead of wine, as I opted for the college football national championship last night – and let me just say it is infinitely harder to get through this early in the morning and sober.

The cliffhanger from last week? Yep, Kimberly asked to come back after being booted and he said “ok!” Girls were pissed. There are 23.

The first date is a 6 on 1 pool party followed by a bikini tractor race… because, prince farming. Ashley I. (not crazy Ashley) won the race and was granted more bikini tractor time. Ultimately he chooses to spend the last of the date with Mackenzie, probably because she wore overalls on the date. She talks about aliens and big noses and Chris is totally freaked. Then she makes him feel bad for her by telling him she has a kid. Or maybe he is turned on because his name is Kale, which is obviously the best farmer’s name. Apparently they kissed. Five times. Because she kisses and tells and the girls are pissed again.

Source: Access Hollywood
We hear a heartbreaking story of Julia’s husband passing away and her struggles as a single mom. It is actually really endearing and she seems like a normal person.

Megan gets a solo date. They take a helicopter ride and she drops a mega bomb that her dad literally passed away days ago. Is it insensitive for me to wonder what the F she is doing here? Chris doesn’t wonder about her emotional state. They kiss.

Another group date. 11 girls. They go zombie hunting. No one feels safe that crazy Ashley has a gun. Chris concurs with the ladies that she is a lunatic, but he’s not ready to cut her. Probably because she still has the gun. Do you think she is an aspiring actress? Drugs? Crazy? The first impression girl, Britt, gets another smooch and Chris seems legit in love with her. But, adorably hilarious Kaitlyn gets the rose (and a kiss). And she is my new favorite. Her commentary is fantastic.

Source: ABC

Rose Ceremony (kissing ceremony)

  • Mackenzie, Megan and Kaitlyn have roses from their dates.
  • Whitney plans her own date for Chris. Her voice, OMG, I can’t.
  • Ashley I. is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend. They make out. Is this her first kiss????
  • Amber kisses him. Dear Lord, I’m no prude, but this is getting excessive. I think she just wanted air time. She’s had none.
  • Jordan tries to kiss him. But, she’s too drunk to function.
  • In the end, he sent 4 girls packing, including the drunkies and the girl he axed last week. I hope she accepts it this time.
  • He gave the crazy girl, Ashley S., a rose and we all breathe a sigh of relief. Because what is this show without some crazy? Thank you, ABC for making him pick her.

And to save you 2 hours…

  • 6 girls have been kissed. If you get more than 5 minutes alone with Chris, he will make out with you.
  • My front-runners are Britt, Megan and Kaitlyn.
  • Jimmy Kimmel makes an appearance next week. That seems fun.
Laura DePeters

Laura DePeters is a (very) late twenty-something living in Atlanta with her husband and pup. A full-time social media supervisor, she's constantly trolling the web. She's an avid SEC college football fan (war eagle!) and enjoys trying to make real life more like Pinterest-life. Can be found watching reality TV, attempting to play tennis and ransacking the clearance section. Twitter: @ladepeters | More on me: lauradepeters.wordpress.com

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