The Bachelor Breakdown: Double the Virgin, Double the Fun

For those not keeping track, we’re on episode 4, with 15 women left in the Bachelor mansion. We learn there are more surprise guests this week. This time Chris’ 3 sisters are joining us and will be determining who is worthy of a one-on-one.

Naturally
A date card reveals 8 ladies will be going natural on the group date. “Natural? What does that meeeeean?!” cry the ladies. Namely virgin Ashley who has never been spotted without 50 shades of makeup. The group is headed to a lake and are pretty pumped for a day of boozing in the sun with Chris. We’re also lucky enough to keep the streak of bikini group dates intact. Phew. Everyone is having a grand time, except Kelsey (short haired chick whose hubby recently passed). Kelsey declares she’d rather gouge her eyeball out with a fork than stay on this date. Imagine her despair when Chris announces “Surprise! We’re pitching tents and staying here all night.”

As the sun goes down, things start to get a little nutty. Mostly because the girls are beyond hammered at this point. Crazy Ashley gazes into his eyes and tells Chris she loves him. Chris gazes anywhere else and is visibly creeped out. Kaitlyn continues to provide us with hilarious commentary, totally nails the hispter camper girl wardrobe, discusses love languages with Chris and gets the group date rose. Homegirl is on a roll. Virgin Ashley is still losing her shit about her virgin status, which honestly seems like more of a circumstance than a choice. Because she is really rearing to lose that V card. She sneaks into Chris’ tent and tells him she isn’t what people think. Basically she says she knows she looks like a total whore, but isn’t. Does he catch her drift? He does not.

  • Source: YahooCinderella and the not-so evil step sisters
    Back at the mansion, the sisters come to interview the ladies. Jade wins the date. Who is this Jade you ask? I didn’t know either, but she is gorgeous, from the Midwest and seems really normal. Which explains why she has yet to receive air time. Their date is a Cinderella ball and ABC takes this opportunity to plug its new Cinderella movie for the rest of the night. Nonchalantly of course. Jade gets the rose and I think we have a new frontrunner!

    The group of girls who the sisters totally dissed will be going on a group date… in wedding dresses. But, because this is Prince Farming and not a globetrotting free-loader, they head to a remote location to participate in a mud obstacle race. To no one’s surprise, bodybuilder Jillian wins the race and a solo date with Chris. She is pumped up, mentally and physically, but the date goes south pretty quickly and Chris sends her packing. Who can blame him?? He works hard for his bod and will not have a wife with bigger muscles than him.
    Source: ABC

    Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony

    Virgin Ashley is still talking about said virginity. Rightfully so, no one else seems to care as much as her. I’m pretty irritated. Not only is she annoying in general, but she places so much emphasis on her lack of sexual experience and really belittles herself for it. She doesn’t mention that she has standards or has made a choice to abstain, so it is pretty obvious she wants to get laid and just can’t find someone to do the deed. We also learn Becca is a virgin, but doesn’t make it everyone’s business. Because… it’s not. Ashley finally comes out and tells Chris and he doesn’t seem to mind, but is just y confused as to why she is losing her mind over this. He doesn’t kiss her.

    Britt questions why Chris loves the adorably hilarious Kaitlyn and basically calls her trash. Oh no she didn’t! Chris is pissed. There is a big dramatic lead up to whether or not Britt and virgin Ashley will get a rose after the bombs they both dropped. SHOCKER. They both get roses.
    Source: Hollywood Life

  • 4 girls get axed and we’re left with 11.
  • Jillian got sent home during the group date.
  • Julia (widowed, single mom)
  • Nikki (I had to look up her name – you’re not missing anything here)
  • Crazy Ashley leaves and lets us know she never loved or really liked Chris.

Kaityn is still my favorite, though I think she is going to be the next Bachelorette and not the next Princess Farming. Jade seems like a potential wifey and Britt falls off of my list this week.

Are you the next Mrs. Farming?
Think all of these girls suck and you’re the one meant for Chris? Take this quiz to find out! I got 0% compatible. Shucks.

Laura DePeters

Laura DePeters is a (very) late twenty-something living in Atlanta with her husband and pup. A full-time social media supervisor, she's constantly trolling the web. She's an avid SEC college football fan (war eagle!) and enjoys trying to make real life more like Pinterest-life. Can be found watching reality TV, attempting to play tennis and ransacking the clearance section. Twitter: @ladepeters | More on me: lauradepeters.wordpress.com

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.