The One Thing That’s Missing From “50 Shades of Grey”

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Everyone is SO excited about the 50 Shades of Gray movie. I mean, every time a book becomes a movie it’s exciting. There’s just one  problem… We will not be seeing Mr. Gray’s penis.

Read about it here.

First of all, if any movie required male nudity, it is this one. That should have been the casting director’s very first question, “Are you willing to show us your penis?” If the answer is anything but a YES, move on. Because the peen is very important. A 50 Shades movie without seeing a single penis? Have they even read the book???

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And, excuse me, but how does Jamie Dornan get away with this anyway? Can you imagine if the actress playing Anastasia Steel wouldn’t be willing to show a boob? She wouldn’t even be considered! Casting directors would look right past her. There are plenty of other male actors willing to show their love stick. Jamie’s gorg and all but, I don’t see how that makes him the exception.

Jamie, sweetheart, I’m sure you have a beautiful penis. And I understand if you’re having a little stage fright but, you’re not alone. Below are a list of movies of males that showed their hang down:

  1. The Simpson Movie
  2. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
  3. The Hangover
  4. Wanderlust
  5. Zack and Miri Make a Porno
  6. Like, all Jackass movies
  7. Sex and the City
  8. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  9. Anything with James Deen

And there are a ton of others!

We’ll see how good and accurate the 50 Shades movie will be without seeing a single penis. I’m excited for it nontheless.

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to stumble into every CEO’s office until I find my Mr. Grey. Laters baby!

Linnea Biggs

Hi, I’m Linnea [lin-nee-uh]. A 20-something writer, blogger, social media and marketing addict! I pretend my life is a musical sometimes. #HelloDolly!

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