Unless you have been living under a rock this past week, you are well aware that twentysomething role model Taylor Swift has been teasing the release of her new music video “Bad Blood”. Yes, the song that is about the one time that California Queen Katy Perry stole dancers/friends of the Swift from the Red tour to join the Prism tour, it probably doesn’t help that said Teenage Dream was (or is she still?) dating the subject of “Dear John”. Anyways, here are some questions I have for Ms. Swift regarding her next viral smash.
#1: Is Taylor assembling the next Avengers?
I mean #JusticeforBLACKWIDOW, those Instagram teased posters are of the Avengers status. So far the only male in this is Kendrick Lamar, if that’s not a flip on Avengers dude squad, well then I don’t know what is. Plus we can really see Taylor as “Catastrophe” dropping lines like “Language!” ala Captain America as she hunts down her nemesis, which brings us to question number 2.
#2: Who is the villain of this music video/movie?
It’s BECKY! Or could it be Karlie Kloss? Talk about a best friend turning on a friend, also Tay and Karlie are both of the Amazon race, so the height ratio works. Or is it the yet to be seen on a poster Selena Gomez? She’s the only friend who bears a close resemblance to Katy Perry, cause who else in Taylor’s squad has dark hair?
#3: Does the plot involves Meredith and Olivia?
They were CAT-napped! Yup, I’m calling it right there, Katy sent Kitty Purry to kidnap Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey. They’re probably locked up in some beach shack guarded by Snoop Dogg and his gummy bear minions in sunny California while they’re missing their chilly New York!
#4: Can she really make the bad guys good?
That has to be her power right? I picture Lily Aldrige’s character of Frostbyte mentoring a defeated Taylor and having her join the Bad Blood squad as they use their powers to stop the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world.
#5: Does Katy Perry make an appearance?
I mean I can’t not ask right? Do Taylor and her squad of girls travel from New York to L.A. to take on the Santa Barbara native?
#6: Where. Are. The. Dudes?
Taylor, you’re squad is seriously lacking in guys! Where’s Ed? Couldn’t he be the Ginger Giant? What about… Oh wait there’s no other guy friends…. Hi Taylor, twentysomething fella over with hella good hair, let’s be friends?
#7: Does Taylor watch Arrow?
Based on these posters, I’m thinking Taylor has to slip Oliver Queen into her binge watch line up. Check out the weapons that Ellie Goulding, Martha Hunt and Zendaya wield? I think we now know who raided Team Arrow’s lair.
#8: It’s about Friendship isn’t it?
We’re all reading way too much into this. This video is simply showing how Taylor and her squad have girl’s night, am I right? All best friends dress up in superhero attire to just watch a movie, have some s’mores and sing karaoke right?
#9: When did they become friends?
I’m going to go ahead and say what everyone is thinking, when did Taylor Swift’s crew get diversified? Seeing Zendaya, Serayah (does this mean she watches Empire?), Kendrick Lamar and Jessica Alba, shows that Taylors not just about having Blond Angels in her crew.
#10: This is the new Charlie’s Angels?
Picture it, Kendrick plays Charlie, Taylor, Lily Aldridge and Cara Delevingne are the Angels. It’d be the ultimate justice for a classic TV show that’s never quite been able to reboot correctly.
#11: Do Band-Aids really not fix bullet holes?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally betrayed by a friend? Well does that answer your question? No they do not. Let’s not forget Katy’s subtle Mean Girls sub tweet when the song first came out.
#12: Who didn’t make the cut?
I’m thinking Jennifer Lawrence should’ve been in this? Or maybe she is? She’s got the Katniss skills. What about Emma Stone? She’s been in Amazing Spider-Man, which is more than enough reason to be in this.
#13: If this was a movie, would it outsell the Avengers?
To paraphrase, the man who Taylor Swift once had Bad Blood with, “Yo Avengers, Imma let you finish but Bad Blood was the best superhero team up of all time, all time!” But then again, the movie industry doesn’t believe in a female hero led movie, much less a female hero squad movie…
Tune in on May 17th to see the video debut and open the Billboard Music Awards. I’m pretty sure some of my theories will probably be true or not… Until then keep watch on Taylor’s Instagram for more squad reveals.