15 Things Every Almost-Alcoholic Knows To Be True

1. You’re not drinking alone if your dog is home.

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2. Ugh, do I really have to go? I would much rather stay home, look like shit, and drink wine.

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3. I need liquor to tolerate you.

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4. This bottle doesn’t have a suggested service size printed on the label. So, I’m just going to assume it’s one serving.

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5. How much whine would a wine drinker whine if a wine drinker couldn’t drink wine – say that three times fast!

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6. Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink.

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7. I deserve an alco-holiday.

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8. The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a glass of wine.

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9. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy alcohol. And that’s the same.

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10. I don’t need to unwind, I need to uncork.

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11. It’s not good to keep things bottled up anyway.

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12. “Drink responsibly” just means don’t spill it.

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13. Hard times call for hard liquor.

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14. I can’t wait to get home and pour myself some dinner.

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15. It’s just not fun being sober.

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Related Content:

Opening Skeptical Minds To Wine

Every Type of Hangover You’ll Have in Your Twenties

14 Things Only Drunk You Understands

Linnea Biggs

Hi, I’m Linnea [lin-nee-uh]. A 20-something writer, blogger, social media and marketing addict! I pretend my life is a musical sometimes. #HelloDolly!

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