Turning 21 is awesome because you’re finally allowed in bars and liquor stores. Turning 25 is marvelous because you are in the heart of your twenties, the world is your oyster, and opportunities come knocking! Then a couple years go by and you turn 27, the first age you are officially in your late 20’s, and you realize you only have 3 more years until you’re 30. Dun, dun, dunnnn….
If someone asked me at 22 where I saw myself in the five years, I’d probably break down crying. I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. Everything seemed overwhelming. Our teenage years are for figuring out our emotions, our twenties are for figuring out life, and who knows what our thirties are for but I’m sure we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Truth be told, I still don’t know what the heck I’m doing, but I still laugh, I still love, and I still learn. We’re all trying to figure out the same thing.
Here are 27 signs you are 27…
1. Everyone asks if you have children. Like, everyone. That’s the new conversation starter. No more, “So, what do you do?” or “Where are you from?” Nope. Now we jump right into whether you have children or not. And it gets awkward to reply, “…no.”
2. You start asking yourself what you’re wearing to give off that “mommy” vibe. Yes perhaps your wardrobe is a bit more conservative but, low-risers show too much butt crack, spaghetti straps aren’t supportive, and short shorts, are way too short! Apparently when you stop dressing like a hot, young 20 year old you start giving off that mother vibe. Whatever, we keep it classy.
3. You may not have children but if you have a pet, and that totally counts as having a child. You feed them, take care of them when they’re sick, and now you can even enrolled them in doggy-day-care.
4. You get your 5 year college reunion invitation. Or at least you’ll hear about it (we never get invited to these things either). But at least there’s finally a chance to show off what job you settled with while your colleagues are living their “dreams” in L.A., working at Starbucks, and freelancing.
5. Your eyes have lines, but it’s still cover-able! The tanning from your teens is starting to show, but now we can afford MAC to cover those flaws.
6. Your debt is going down but, it still makes you cry. Credit cards, student loans, and bills – oh my! Keep hacking at it little by little and I’m sure it’ll be gone by the time we come out with our sister magazine, Forever Thirty-Somethings.
7. You’ve forgotten most of what you learned in college. Remember what you majored in college? Yeah, we don’t either.
8. You’ve forgotten everything you learned in high school. Except if you really want a refresher you can get all seasons of Bill Nye the Science Guy on Netflix!
9. Most of the time, you still don’t know anything about anything. It’s like starting a new job with no training: we do what feels right and hope we don’t make any big financial mistakes or make anyone upset.
10. You don’t go on Facebook as often as you used to. No one gives anymore juicy updates! It’s all weddings and babies. Facebook is only entertaining when someone tags a drunk picture of that girl everyone hates, or when someone airs their dirty laundry and a passive-aggressive chain of comments starts. That’s great you said ‘yes to the dress,’ but let’s see something more scandalous.
11. You actually drink responsibly. Thirsty Thursday is now Lean Cuisine and a bottle of water.
12. You have developed the perfect hangover cure, just in case! Lemon water, some toast, a Red Bull, and a few Tylenol and you’re back to normal! (kind of)
13. You’re not as fat/fit as you were 5 years ago. This goes one of two ways: the skinny girl gets some more meat on her bones, or the chubby girl takes up cross fit and gets stunning. Either way, we embrace who we are, curvy or not.
14. You go out in public with no make-up. It’s a pretty liberating experience not caring about what your face looks like when you leave the house. It may take a while, but you’ll be comfortable with what your face looks like with no eye liner or concealer.
15. Life has thrown you some pretty awful curve balls over the years, and it’s made you stronger. We’ve had some bumps and bruises in our life, and some of them were pretty serious. Maybe it’s a death, a health issue, or maybe you had to let go of something negative in your life. No matter the case, you’ve learned something from that experience, and it’s one that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life.
16. Recent graduates make you angry. “Oh my God, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?” Get over it kids, you’ll be fine! The rest of us survived and you’re no different. You’re in for some ass-kicking but, you’ll be grateful for it once it’s over.
17. You go from seeing your friends several times a week, to several times a year. We all will eventually move, and often it’ll be out of state. Make room for BFF trips as often as possible!
18. You leave stores like H&M and Forever 21 in a matter of minutes. Why do all shirts have mustaches on them? What’s with the crop tops – who shows their belly button anymore? Where’s the career section? After a brief browse of the store, you get fed up and head to New York and Co.
19. Your parents start talking to you about their will and their wishes should something happen to them. It’s not the funnest conversation to have, but it’s important to your parents and this may be the only time you hear what they have to say.
20. You have lost your grandparents and have seen your parents cry. The pain of losing a grandparent is bad enough, watching your parents mourn over their loss is heartbreaking. And, for a brief moment, the thought of losing them crosses your mind.
21. The best purchase you’ve made is a new vacuum. Say goodbye to dust bunnies and pet hair forever! Your living room could be the poster child for Pottery Barn!
22. You can finally afford nice things. A mattress, new carpets, a new car… look at you getting excited over grown up toys!
23. Taylor Swift’s song “22” will make you tear up. TS hit the nail on the head with this one. Let’s dig up our old hipster glasses, chucks, and stay out all night drinking cheep beer.
24. The mistakes you make have pretty big consequences. Forgetting to pay a bill, missing a decimal on a report, being late on filing taxes… there is limited room for error.
25. You learn to go with the flow and stop thinking so much – a sign your Quarter Life Crisis is almost over!! So you didn’t get that cool job you wanted or maybe you had a rough break up, whatever. You’re realizing you know who you are, what you are made of, and what you believe in. You may not know exactly what you want, or what makes you happy, but you feel inches closer as the days go on.
26. You still ask yourself “When is live going to feel like it’s supposed to?” Maybe today? Maybe tomorrow? You keep saying to yourself, “Maybe next year…”
27. You’re okay with not knowing. You’ll get there when you get there. Life is too short to worry.