The Bachelorette Recap: The Haunting

We start off from last week’s “dramatic ending” with Kupa losing it in his exit interview. Kaitlyn comes out to tell him to calm down. He finally leaves. Not gracefully. K is “sad.”

Rose Ceremony

  • 13 guys, including Tony the healer get roses.
  • Again. ABC producers plant contestants here that will get us talking.

Group Date 1

Six guys are headed on a date to go Sumo Wrestling. They strip down to their thong diapers. Nothing eases the tension of a group date like sweaty balls and butts. Somehow Tony manages to last the longest in the ring, but proceeds to go off on Kaitlyn saying he prefers to be on peaceful dates and has had enough with her violent ways. There’s some more Sumo between the men (sans Tony) and as things are winding down, a relaxed Tony hands Kaitlyn a daffodil and tells her he is done.

Clint, the one-on-one from last week, says he’s done (already!) chasing her and will wait on her to come to him. We’ll see how that tactic works out. Ryan Gossling- Shawn gets a smooch and the group date rose.

Kaitlyn calls out Clint on not blowing her off. Clint says he’s more into JJ.

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One-on-One Date

Ben Z, who got a group date rose last week, gets picked by Chris Harrison for the solo date. Evidently Chris is taking the reigns and tells the couple they’ll be locked in a dark room with birds…Kaitlyn’s worst fear. Because, shocking twists people. They spend time in this haunted room, which is straight out of a PLL episode, while searching for clues to help them escape. Please fire whoever thought up this stupid date. I’m with Tony on this one – BULLSHIT.

Once they bust out of the bird, snake, blood hellhole, Ben opens up about the death of his mother and the emotional toll it’s had on him. I have to say, his looks are deceiving – seems like a total doucher, but he seems genuine and well-rounded. The date is wrapped up with a hot tub and rose.

Group Date 2

The next group is headed to school, where the men will substitute teach a sex-ed class. Would you rather be stuck in a room with snakes or play with tampons in front of children? Snakes, please. It’s all funny-awkward and the men are humiliated, when we learn that Kaitlyn has pranked the guys and these are child actors… because that makes it less awkward?

Standout men of the date are Ben H, who is super sexy and sensitive. And Jared, the pointy-faced, but equally sensitive one. Ben H gets the rose.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, we get an inside peek at the Clint-JJ bromance, which seems to blur the lines of friendship-romance. Clint even says he believes he is in love with JJ and needs to get the rose just to stay with him. Let’s address the obvious elephant in the room. Of all the dudes, he’s going to go gay for JJ? Yuck.

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Cocktail Party 

Clint grabs Kaitlyn first in order to secure the rose and cement his future with JJ. It seems like all of the other dudes know there is something weird going on. And by weird I mean they know Clint’s a straight asshole. Seems the gay thing is just a drunken joke between bros? Or an obvious ploy for ratings from ABC. Just as Kaitlyn pulls aside Clint to confront him, Chris Harrison tells us we have to wait till next week. Again.

Predictions

I’m slightly more vested after this episode. While the dates and pretend drama were awful, I see potential in some of the guys. Namely both Bens. I am 99.9% certain JJ and Clint will go home next.

 

Laura DePeters

Laura DePeters is a (very) late twenty-something living in Atlanta with her husband and pup. A full-time social media supervisor, she's constantly trolling the web. She's an avid SEC college football fan (war eagle!) and enjoys trying to make real life more like Pinterest-life. Can be found watching reality TV, attempting to play tennis and ransacking the clearance section. Twitter: @ladepeters | More on me: lauradepeters.wordpress.com

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