Last summer I had the…pleasure…of living with five guys under the age of 25, including one who was 19 and still in college. What do young guys like to do? PARTY. Since my old apartment was not the nicest, and had probably been through its fair share of ragers since it was once a frat house, the guys continued on the tradition. Here’s what happened.
1. It becomes a common occurrence to see a stranger sleeping on the couch. This person would disappear by noon Saturday or Sunday morning without a word.
2. The floors have a constant stickiness to them. Beer+no mop=shoes stuck to floor at all times.
3. Whenever you go to a friend’s house, it smells WONDERFUL. It smells like a Yankee Candle, not like a bar. You experience amazing smells like dryer sheets and Swiffer.
4. You expect the “I’m having a few friends over” text weekly. “A few friends” really means a few dozen. Thanks for the gentle reminder.
5. You install a lock on your door because you like your possessions. Hide the iPad, stash your laptop, or forgo owning anything of value.
6. There is never any room in the fridge for actual food because it is full of beer. Guess you’ll be getting takeout every night.
7. All cups in your apartment are red, plastic, and come in packs of 100 or more. Ain’t a party without Solo cups.
8. You can hear the sound of a ping pong ball bouncing from a mile away. Because at least 10 rounds of beer pong were played every weekend night.
9. There is no such thing as a relaxing night in. Unless you went to your parents’ or a friend’s house.
10. You cannot keep alcohol in the house because someone other than you will drink it. Get a mini fridge for your room.
11. You can tell what song is playing by the buzz of the bass shaking your ceiling or walls. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT.
12. The apartment is never clean because no one ever wants to clean anything up the next day. Or there’s just a garbage bag full of Solo cups in the corner at all times.