1. The All-Star: This person never misses class and kicks ass the entire time. You have no idea how they do it! It’s usually some mom of four kids who works full time too. HOW? You want to be this person, but deep down you know you will never be and you’re okay with that. At least you work out, right?
2. The Attention Whore: They have to make a grand entrance whether they walk in the studio late, or they make a scene when they get to class. They want everyone to notice them. But hey, they can have all the attention, no one normal wants to be watched as they are sweating balls.
3. The Instructor’s Favorite: Normally this person doesn’t TRY to be the teacher’s pet (that would be the attention whore), it just happens. The teacher always says what a great job this person is doing in the middle of a class. Yeah sure, they work hard, but you’d like to be recognized for once!
4. The Guy that’s Clearly Here to Meet Women: Bro. Just don’t.
5. The Color Coordinator: Unless you are the instructor and exercise for a living, there is no reason to have outfits to work out it. These girls usually aren’t there to sweat, and aren’t getting anything past you. And if they step it up a notch and wear lipstick to class, it’s game over. But hey, someone’s got to talk to the guy looking for a wifey in class, right?
6. The Cheerleader: This is the person that will let out a big “WOOHOO” during the climax of the class. How are they not dying like the rest of the class?
7. The Guy Who Sweats. A lot: You feel they’re pain, even though your sweat probably isn’t as visible. But you have to give them props, they’re getting a good workout!
8. The Distractions: Those ladies that come to the gym not to work out but to socialize rather than in a coffee shop. You can usually point them out before class by how loud they are. And they will continue their conversation during class.
9. You: The person that shows up to class to get a good workout. You try to go in unnoticed, except for saying hi to a regular or two, and leave just the same. You don’t want anyone to see you sweating or making awful faces while you endure the hour. You go purely to leave feeling like you kicked some ass. And of course to stay in shape. FOUR FOR YOU GLENN COCO YOU GO GLENN COCO! And none for the attention whore, bye.