This Is Why You Don’t Need A Fall Boyfriend

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Ever since the infamous fall boyfriend Craigslist post of 2014, girls all over the world have been planning and plotting how they can secure a significant other by the time this season rolls around. The stereotypical girl wants someone to accompany her as she goes apple picking, bakes apple pie, and drinks pumpkin spice lattes as the leaves fall. And no, none of those things make you a basic bitch, to those of you who were thinking that.

First of all, can someone please explain to me what exactly a “fall boyfriend” is? Is a boyfriend found during the fall different than one found during the winter or spring? Please hit me up and explain where this concept came from and why this is even a thing.

Second, I’m not sure there is really a way to “find a boyfriend,” as much as a lot of us wish that there were. Finding a S/O doesn’t happen like finding the perfect sweater at the mall. You can’t go shopping with the purpose of finding a boyfriend in mind and come home with a shiny new one to show your friends.

Inspired by the classic film Freaky Friday, I would like to make a PSA to all of my fellow single lady soul sisters out there: you are a smart, strong, beautiful, independent woman and you don’t need a man to complete you.

Yes, I know you’ve heard this a million times. Yet everyone still seems to spend their time wallowing in the fact that they don’t have a S/O in their life.

I will be the first to admit that it would be nice to have a boyfriend sometimes. Like when I can’t get a jar of pasta sauce open because apparently I’m really bad at opening things. Or when it’s really cold in my room at night and rolling over only makes it that much colder. And it would be especially nice when I buy new furniture at IKEA and then have to carry it up 3 flights of stairs all by myself. Sometimes we need a companion, and that’s okay.

But you know what? I have spent a vast majority of my 23 years without a boyfriend and I have gotten along just fine. Better than fine, actually.

I was able to move across the country post-grad and didn’t have anyone holding me back. If I want to fly to Portland to visit a friend for the weekend, I can do that without having to inform anyone of my decision, besides maybe my mom.

So you see, there are perks to being boyfriend-less just like there are perks to having a S/O.

First of all, you can take your girlfriends apple picking with you and they will take as many potential Instagrams of you as your little heart desires. They actually know how to work a camera and your majestic frolicking will be captured perfectly.

Your girlfriends will go to Starbucks with you as many times as you want, and won’t insist that you bake an apple pie for them. If anything, they will grab a spoon and eat it right out of the pan with you.

When a football game is on, you can cheer for your team without any judgement from the boyfriend and his bros. More importantly, you can watch whatever game you want without having to coordinate schedules. If that means skipping the game all together and watching Say Yes To The Dress for 6 hours, so be it.

When it comes down to it, the problem is that everyone always wants what they don’t have. When I see a couple holding hands on the train I sometimes get jealous that I don’t have a special someone with me. But when I have to run to catch a train right before the doors close, I’m happy that I only have myself to worry about.

It’s normal to see other people in relationships and wish for a similar one, but I would be willing to bet that people in relationships often look at their single friends and wonder what it would be like to have that carefree lifestyle again.

Let’s all just be thankful for what we have and enjoy it while it lasts. For those of you who are single, enjoy those lazy Saturdays when you can stay in your pajamas and no one will see that you haven’t showered or even moved from your bed.

For those of you who have a fall boyfriend, or spring boyfriend, or whatever you want to call him, enjoy having a partner in crime to spend those Saturdays with.

Life’s too short to spend of your time wishing for things you don’t have. It will happen eventually. I promise.

Hillary Bautch

Hillary Bautch is a Wisconsin girl living in Boston, where she can often be found double-fisting cups of coffee. She takes pleasure in making other people feel awkward and purposely does weird stuff so she can write about it later. Hillary enjoys eating pizza, watching other people fall down on ice skates, and complaining about how much she wants a dog. Follow her random musings and sarcastic rants at @hillarybautch.

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