My parents were in their mid-20s when I was born. At the mere age of 26, not only were they now supporting a third party (hi, that was me), they owned a house, two cars, and probably a lot of other things too, like furniture to go inside the house and nice “china.”
Today, I am 27. I don’t own a home. I can’t afford my car. I have been meaning to buy an entry way table for months. And I definitely don’t have a child, which is a good thing because I’m not really sure where he/she/it would sleep.
When I was in high school, I thought about how weird it would be going to be going to my 10-year reunion. I figured everyone would be so grown-up and different. Well, my 10-year reunion is less than a year away and I’m pretty sure 85% of the people I went to high school haven’t “changed” and even the married-with-children ones probably don’t feel “grown-up.” It’s like, we only graduated college a few years ago. With or without kids, we are still trying to adjust to this real world thing, and even though we’re not in entry-level positions at work anymore, we are still trying to figure out how to balance all these responsibilities.
As for the whole being a “changed” person now, I guess you could say we’ve all changed a bit. Unless you are some sort of prodigy or a fan of plastic surgery, your body changes as you get older. And your face. And your sense of style. And your ability to stay awake and party on the weekend. But just because you might be fat now and you prefer the couch over the club doesn’t make you an adult. It just makes you older.
When I was 15, I thought people in their late 20s were adults. I mean, back then I thought the senior boys were adults. Pretty much anyone who was older than me I labeled as an adult. Now, I still do the same thing, just to much older people.
My peers that are around my age are not adults. They are twenty somethings and people in their thirties who are slowly becoming boring. Adults are (and have always been) people my parents age. And I’m sure when I am my parents’ age, adults will be the people who are on retirement in Florida and the people throwing money at their grandkids.
Adults, to me, are people who appear to have their shit together. They support their family. They own property. They go on vacations.
My whole life, my parents appeared to “have their shit together.” But did they actually feel like they did?
Even though I don’t own a home or have a kid like my parents did at my age, I’m sure there are younger people who look at me and think I have my shit together. In fact, my younger self would probably think I have my shit together. I own a car, I live in a nice apartment, I wear nice clothing, I go on vacations. So, yeah, there are probably people out there that consider me to be an adult.
I am not an adult though.
Or at least I don’t feel like one.
Even though I have come a long way from even three years ago when I was 24 and driving a car that started with a screwdriver (don’t ask questions), I can’t help but focus on the things I haven’t accomplished yet. And I’m sure when I do purchase a home one day and have a child, I will feel the same way.
So, real talk: Does anyone ever truly feel like a grown-up? Because I’m pretty sure they don’t.