Dear Lace, Thank You For Doing You

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If you’ve been watching The Bachelor this season—and even if you haven’t—you know all about Lace. She was the token drunk girl at the first rose ceremony. She started off a wee bit crazy. Seriously, she got mad at Ben, the babe who is the bachelor, because he didn’t look her in the eyes during the rose ceremony. *cue eye roll emoji x37*

During this past week’s episode, she was quiet but worried about her relationship with Ben. If she didn’t have time to talk to him, she thought she might be going home. So she left on her own. Some may look at it as she dumped him before he could dump her. Which may be true, but at the end of the day she told Ben she needed to leave to work on herself.

I’m happy she left. Not because I thought she might be a little cray, but because I admire people who can take a stand for themselves and know when they need to spend more time on themselves than anything else.

Being someone who deals with depression, I feel for Lace. I’ve discussed with myself (lol, am I crazy?) the whole “love yourself before you love someone else” ordeal. It’s one of the truest statements out there. How are you supposed to give love to someone when you can’t even love the soul who is supposed to mean the most to you? Loving yourself is so important because at the end of the day, all you have it yourself.

If we learn anything from Lace’s departure, it’s that it’s ok to work on yourself. This shouldn’t have to be a learned trait, but it is. Taking a time out from a relationship is ok. It’s normal and should be seen as a positive, not the negative that the world perceives it as.

I went to therapy for a while. It was nice to have someone to talk to and my therapist was the shit. Seriously, I miss her sometimes. One time she reminded me of a quote that I’ve heard too many times to count. I’m sure you’ve heard it as well.

Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.

I’ve kept this with me since she told it to me. I have it written on a piece of paper in my wallet. I take it everywhere because sometimes we need to be reminded to help ourselves before helping others even when we aren’t actually on a plane.

I am not embarrassed to say that I need to work on me before I can put myself in a relationship with someone. I am not perfect and I won’t ever be, but if I don’t love myself for me then I cannot allow myself to love someone else.

At the end of each day remember thats it’s ok to think of yourself and the love you should give yourself. Don’t spend time trying to love someone else if you can’t honestly say you love yourself.  Use the wise words of RuPaul each and every day. She is a queen you know.

So thank you Lace, for showing us that anyone and everyone can and should take the time to work on themselves before allowing themselves to love another.

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Courtney Charroux

Courtney is what you can call a northern-southern belle. Grew up a Mass-hole, took some southern lessons in SC and is now back north trying to figure out the white stuff on the ground. She enjoys all things Britney Spears and sports. Puppies bring her as much joy as a nice cold cup of ice coffee. If you'd like to know more about her mad life, follow her on Twitter/Instagram - @cacharroux.

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