It took me a while to sign up for online dating. At first I was hesitant and thought, ‘am I so pathetic and ugly that I need to be online dating in order to find someone?” But I was wrong. I’m neither of those things. And neither are the other people who do online dating.
Upon signing up for OkCupid, I learned a lot of things. And I’m here to share these tidbits of information with all of you.
I learned I wasn’t pathetic.
Actually, I’m the opposite. Most of us are trying to finish school, or have finished school and are now working some kind of job. Between trying to work, actually feed yourself something besides ramen noodles, and maybe working out, cleaning your house/apartment, paying bills…it doesn’t leave much time for going out. Online dating provides thousands of guys right at your fingertips! (And the comfort of your own sofa and maybe a bottle of wine for liquid courage)
I found out it was actually super easy.
Creating a profile for me was super easy. I picked out my best photos, drafted a witty profile and went about my day. It doesn’t have to be time consuming.
It made me feel AMAZING about myself.
Like holy shit who knew online dating could be such a boost of confidence?? Sure, not all of the guys that messaged me were beautiful British models but a lot of them had a lot of really nice things to say! And, it assured me that I am not some ugly bridge troll (even though sometimes I feel that way.)
I did meet a LOT of weirdos.
I had several guys ask me if they could touch my feet, play with my hair…I even had one guy ask what my bra size was…but you can very easily report and block them on the OkCupid app.
But, I also met a lot of really nice guys.
Upon starting this experiment I made several unwritten rules for myself. 1) I never messaged anyone first. 2) I didn’t have to respond if I didn’t find their message captivating/witty enough or if I found them completely unattractive and 3) If they asked me on a date I had to say yes. Some of the dates I went on went no further than a first date. But some of the guys asked me to go on another date. I often said no because I felt no spark, but with one guy in particular- I did. In fact I wound up seeing Ryan for several weeks. It did not work out because he found someone else he liked more. But everything happens for a reason. I wound up meeting another guy named Aram who I also saw for a few weeks. He was also really nice but it fizzled out after a while.
I didn’t have to tell anyone if I didn’t want to do.
Trust me I was a little embarrassed at first. I didn’t tell my parents (and never plan to even though my mom and stepdad met via match.com) I did wind up telling my sister and my best friend Brandon. I told those two only because I know I can whole heartedly trust them. I’d always send my sister my location via my iPhone (just in case my date decided to chop me into tiny pieces-she’d know where to find my body) and Brandon knew about the guys/the date because I knew he’d kill them if something went wrong.
I learned that a lot of people online date.
Like A LOT. It’s totally normal. It did get a little awkward when I wound find an ex from high school, or an old hookup. But hey if you can run into them in real life, I guess the online dating world is no different right?
And finally… I completely left my comfort zone and I ended up totally fine. Actually, better.
My goal for 2016 was to “try new things.” I am adventurous person by nature and tend to do things very spur of the moment. I died my hair back to blonde, got two new piercings…but still I needed something more. So I put myself out there and wound up doing a lot of fun things! I went to my first 76ers game ever (Philadelphia’s basketball team), I tried a lot of cool bars and restaurants in Philly (which meant trying new food/drinks) and I got to talk to a lot of interesting people.
This experiment has been nothing but fun for me and I’d encourage all of the single ladies (and gentlemen) to try online dating at some point! You never know what you may find…