Mean Girls was released April 30, 2004. I was a 15-year-old high school sophomore at the time and literally had a countdown going until the movie hit theaters. I remember getting excited every time the trailer would come on TV. I was mesmerized by the outfits (okay, the skirts) worn by LiLo and crew. I wanted to dress like them. I wanted to be like them. I was also obsessed with Lindsay Lohan. I had a poster of her holding a guitar in my bedroom. It was a really weird girl crush.
Then, the movie came out and my obsession grew. In 2004, I didn’t realize how much a classic this movie was going to be. At the time, I just thought it was relatable and funny. But now, it’s not just funny. It is fucking hilarious and absolutely shit on my entire high school experience in the best way possible.
I still love the movie now. I think even high school students still love the movie now. But that’s like 20-somethings and high school students enjoying Clueless. Clueless, sadly, is completely outdated now. A classic – yes. But old as fuck? That too. Now, I wouldn’t say that Mean Girls is ‘old as fuck,’ but as we approach the movie’s 12-year anniversary, it’s getting up there. And at the rate technology is changing things, life is just not the same. And also, the outfits.
Mean Girls was made before Facebook, before smart phones, before Instagram, before Snapchat. Basically, if Mean Girls was made today, it wouldn’t be the same. Here are 19 things that happened in Mean Girls that would never happen today in 2016.
1. Aaron would never have asked Cady what day it was.
He would have just looked on his phone.
2. Regina would not have had two Fendi purses.
She would have had one Birkin bag.
3. Damian would have never chased anyone in the bathroom screaming ‘Oh my god, Danny DeVito! I love your work.’
No high schooler would know who Danny DeVito is.
4. Karen would never have suggested going to Taco Bell.
No one eats fast food anymore. She would ask to go Panera or Sweetgreen or somewhere that isn’t a chain. Or to get fro-yo.
5. No one would ever think Aaron looks sexy with her hair pushed back.
Pushing your hair back is just jump starting the receding hairline he may have in 5-10 years.
6. Cady Heron would never have worn army pants and flip flops.
Literally no teenager would ever wear army pants.
7. Regina’s mom would not have rocked a Juicy sweatsuit around her home.
RIP Juicy sweatsuits.
8. There would have been no pink polo.
Girls wearing polos is soooooo mid-2000s.
9. The girls would never have worn ribbons in their hair.
10. They also would never have rocked a million ruffled skirts.
In 2016, they would be wearing denim, dressing like really chic and chill skaters, and/or looking like they put no effort into their look when in fact they did.
11. Gretchen would never have been able to wear a stomach-bearing crop top to school.
And if she did wear that top outside of the school, it would need to be at least 5 inches shorter.
12. Regina would not have had to drive by Cady’s house to see she was having a party.
She would obviously have found out through Snapchat or Instagram wayyyyy earlier.
13. Damian would never have sang ‘Beautiful.’
He would most definitely have sang Adele.
14. Gretchen would never have kicked the stereo into Jason’s face.
Stereos no longer exist. Or even if they do, a school would not be using one to play music.
15. The girls would never have felt offended when Regina told them to ‘walk home bitches.’
They would need the steps on their Fitbits, duh.
16. On Wednesdays, they wouldn’t have worn pink.
They would have worn black… or flannel… or yoga pants… or anything that isn’t pink. Way too girly. So not chic.
17. Regina wouldn’t have been told to try Sears when 1-3-5 didn’t have her size.
Sears is, like, about to go out of business.
18. Gretchen would not have been ‘cool’ because her dad founded Toaster Strudel.
She would have been cool if he founded kale chips, Facebook, or Spotify. But Toaster Strudel? Not cool in 2004; Less cool in 2016.
19. The Burn Book would not have been a book.
It would have been a blog. And it would have done a lot more damage online than in print. It also wouldn’t have been kept a secret for long. It would have been found immediately. Also, do kids even know how to physically write anymore? And do they even know what a copy machine is? Because that’s what Regina used to get the Burn Book pages onto paper to throw around the school.