Growing up, life is 99% desperately trying to fit in and 1% trying to get food out of your braces. Things remain as such throughout high school and college (minus the braces, unless you’re a very unlucky human) until one day when you wake up and are like, ‘fuck this shit, I’ve never actually liked half the people I’m ‘friends’ with, and I hate doing 85% of the things they think I like to do.’ Once this happens, congratulations. You have officially entered adulthood.
Adulthood is challenge. You have to grow up and become ‘successful’ and find happiness. But how do you do that? Well, for starters, you need to become your own person. To help you expedite the process, here are 8 things you should stop putting up with immediately so you can *maybe* become your own person and successfully ‘adult’ before you turn 30. Good luck.
1. One-sided friendships.
Real friendships exist when both parties put in effort. If you find yourself being the first one to always initiate conversation or the only one who tries to make plans with someone, this person probably isn’t worthy of a legit friendship. Maybe they’re worthy of being an acquaintance, but as you get older, there is less time to cater to acquaintances. In the small amount of free time you do have, you should be spending it with real friends. And remember before you start panicking that ‘you have no friends’: it’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. One good friend is better than fifty acquaintances.
2. False hope.
Stop holding onto hope that you’re going to get a promotion when you’re not, or that someone is going to fall for you romantically that isn’t. Once you stop holding on to false hope, you won’t be setting yourself up for disappointment anymore. And when good things do happen, you’ll genuinely be happier.
Life is getting busier. There is no need to keep someone in your life who bails every time you ask them to do something — or even worse, when they ask you to do something. This also stands for people who just never respond to you. Granted I am the worst and usually forget to respond to people all the time because I read texts and emails while driving or walking and then respond to them in my head (sorry), but if you’re following up and a person isn’t getting back to you, tell ’em bye boy (shoutout to Beyonce).
You don’t need people around who complain, say no to basically everything, and/or make you feel bad about yourself. You need to surround yourself with positive people. People who make you feel beautiful and awesome. People who help you be yourself and have fun. People who laugh and make you laugh. Not people who are major downers.
5. Being ignored.
What’s the point of talking if no one is listening? And what’s the point of being around people if you have to remain silent? There is none. You deserve to be heard – at home, at work, in your relationships, in your friendships. Stand up for yourself and say see you later to the people who don’t seem to care what you have to say.
6. Feeling like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not for approval.
How can you become your own person when you are surrounded by people who seem to disapprove of the person you really are – how you dress, how you like to spend your weekends, what music you listen to, etc. You should always be yourself and if people don’t like it, they can deal. Not everyone is going to like you. That’s a fact. But if you are never yourself, you won’t find one person who actually does like you — because you won’t be being you.
7. People you can’t trust.
Why spend time with people who force you to watch what you say and do around them? You should, instead, make an album about how you can’t trust them, call it Lemonade, and throw it in their face. Then you should remain friends, duh, because if there’s one thing Beyonce taught us, it’s keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
8. People who don’t trust you.
Maybe you used to be a shit head (I did, for sure), but people change. People grow. In other words, surround yourself with people who know you’re not a piece of shit anymore, even if you secretly might still kind of be an asshole 🙂