I’ve always considered online dating to be a ‘last resort,’ something to consider when all else fails. When you’ve tried the ‘normal’ way of meeting someone, whether through a friend, colleague, or family member, and nothing has panned out.
But one thing I have learned that is critical to being a writer is that sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone. And to me, online dating is certainly out of my comfort zone. I wanted to try it, and I wanted to write about it. That’s why I decided to sign up for Bumble, the online dating app in which women are in control when it comes to choosing a match.
The concept of Bumble is fairly simple. Download the app. Swipe left. Swipe right. If you make a connection, great! Let the connecting begin! If not, oh well, on to the next one. The difference between Bumble and a lot of other dating apps is that Bumble puts the women in control (supposedly). Once a connection is made, the woman has 24 hours to make the first move before the match disappears. After that, then the man (or woman) has 24 hours to respond to the initial response. You can also extend your connections an additional 24 hours each day if you feel like the first 24 are not enough.
Here’s what happened when I tried Bumble for one month.
The beginning: I downloaded the app and created a profile.
The app is free and easy to download. It does have the option to pay for an upgrade, but I signed up for the basic (free) version.
You would not believe the anxiety I felt in just downloading the app. I kept having the following internal conversations with myself and they went something like this:
Me: What are you doing? Are you crazy? Do you know how many weirdos and pervs frequent apps like this? You could get killed! Those people aren’t real. Hello! Catfish!
Also me: Would you shut up already? For God sake just download the damn app and get on with it. You’re not actually going to meet any of these people so what does it matter? It’s not ‘real.’
Once the app was downloaded, I opened it and was displeased to find that I had to link Bumble to my Facebook in order to use the app. Any information (workplace, date of birth, education, etc.) could be used to build my profile UNLESS it was private Facebook. So I made sure to hide where I actually worked and changed my current freelance gig here at Forever Twenty Somethings instead. It was surprising how many guys asked what FTS was, but they all thought it was “cool.” DUH. WE ARE GREAT.
Next came the “About Me” section. I had 300 words or less to describe myself to complete strangers in the hopes that they will find something in common with me and swipe right. I knew I had to make mine good because I found I swiped left more than right based solely on whether someone’s ‘About Me’ was filled out or not. Or if it actually contained information besides “I like the booty” or “Yes I like to touch butts” or “No whores or hoes welcome here.” Seriously? Same to you buddy.
Halfway through: I joined, I swiped, I was ghosted.
Confession time: I was kind of looking and hoping to meet someone using Bumble. Sadly, I did meet a few nice guys but none that I felt needed to go any further than the app itself. I had five to six instant matches by day 15, but there was also a lot of ghosting. I also unmatched with a few who didn’t respond after 48 hours.
There were also a few creeps. One guy wanted friends with benefits (fwb) or no strings attached (NSA). I said not what I was looking for and it was a mutual un-match. There was also a guy who swiped right because he loved that I looked so sweet and innocent (but I was probably more the devil went down to Georgia) and he loved my long pretty hair. Okay… Needless to say, I un-matched the same day. That’s just weird and creepy.
What I learned this far in: If you aren’t actually looking for a relationship, Bumble can be very interesting. My cousin told me to think of myself as a detective. So instead of using it find something serious, I used it for fun, and it actually became fun.
The end: I am still here, and I am still single.
Although I didn’t find my soulmate and get married in the past 30 days, Bumble didn’t turn out to be as bad as I thought. The important thing, as with any social media or social app, is to be careful with your information. Yes, you can leave certain information private on Facebook, but when you are actually talking to your matches, be careful and use common sense. Be yourself, but don’t share any sensitive information. They can seem normal at first and end up being real creeps. You never know!
So do I recommend Bumble? Yes! It has a ~classier~ feel to it compared to Tinder (based on the horror stories I’ve heard from people, not actually experienced). It helps that the women are in control. We get to filter out the creeps and the weirdos and the pervs. It’s very liberating in a way. I liked it.
What do YOU think of Bumble? Have you tried it? Tell us about your experience in the comments!