Your late 20s are a weird time where some of your friends are bringing home strangers and others are bringing home babies. But even if two people aren’t in the same place in life, that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends.
Aside from my own friend group, I see and hear of so many people with friends living different lives. It’s stereotypical, but the facts don’t lie. These are the 15 types of friends you can find in almost every friend group in your late 20s.
1. The one who went from asking everyone to go drinking to asking everyone to work out.
This friend (AKA me) is the one who used to send group texts planning drunken evenings, but now sends group texts asking people to take spin class early on Saturday morning. These friends look forward to working out over the weekend as much as they used to look forward to Friday night pregames. Lol jk. I’m just too tired for that lifestyle now. Give me a barre class and a spin bike and LET ME LIVE, OKAY.
2. The one who parties more than they did in their early 20s.
Perhaps they were late to the literal party. Or maybe it just seems like they’re partying more now because you’re partying less.
3. The new mom.
When you’re in your late 20s, you probably have at least one friend who is with child. It’s weird, especially when 99% of your friends don’t live the parent lifestyle yet, leaving this friend to be the unrelatable 1% until the rest hop on board or become fabulous aunts and uncles.
4. The one who goes on a thousand dates a week that you can’t keep track of.
The chronic dater goes on so many dates, you end up asking ‘which one is that’ every time you hear a date recap. You barely have enough energy to go the gym after work, yet here is your friend going out for drinks with a new person every night. How do they do it?
5. The one who spends a lot of money that you can’t keep up with.
This friend either has more money than you or just spends more money than you (if this is the case, you go Glen Coco, keep saving that $). They go out all the time. They eat expensive dinners. They go on many vacations. They live a booji lifestyle, and although you may want to roll with them on weekend nights and vacations, you literally can’t without going broke.
6. The home entertainer.
No clubs, no bars, just cheese plates and wine on her couch in yoga pants. This friend might get labeled as ‘boring’ because they never want to do anything anymore, but honestly they are great entertainers—and you’re kind of digging this vibe now. Is growing up preferring hanging on someone’s couch instead of going to the bar? Because if so, I don’t hate it. Oh god, am I this friend?
7. The newly single one.
This person spent their 20s in super couple-y relationships where they didn’t LIVE IT UP because they had to go apple picking the next day, and now they’re single for the first time in a long time and they’re making up for lost time. This person is like having a new friend because the chance they will say ‘yes’ to plans increases by 50% after a breakup. In need of a gym buddy? A drinks buddy? A dinner buddy? The newly single friend is always down to hang. TG for them.
8. The one who only talks about work.
My friends and I all pretty much work in different industries, and if you ask me what a lot of them do, I honestly couldn’t tell you. The friend that talks a lot about work, though? You know everything, even if you understand none of it and give zero fucks about it.
9. The dog mom.
The dog mom constantly wants to have you over to hang out with the dog, and you’re TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS because you GET TO HANG OUT WITH A DOG without actually owning a dog. You get to be the dog aunt AKA THE BEST JOB EVER, SIGN ME UP.
10. The one who won’t stop talking about how old you guys are.
Hi, hello. I am this friend and I’m sorry. But every time I look in the mirror, I don’t see what I used to (a clear-ish face with limited wrinkles—although I’m pretty sure I’ve always had crow’s feet, I just never noticed it). IT’S HORRIBLE AND I HATE IT. But I’m sorry, I’ll stop, I realize I’m depressing you—and yes, I know, I’m still “young.” I put that in quotes on purpose…
11. The one who lives far away and thinks everyone hangs out all the time like they used to.
This friend is living in a delusion where nothing has changed since they left town in 2012. However, most people they think are still friends are not. And most people they think still go out all the time, never do. They may get upset that they’re never around, but little do they know, people see them more than they see people who live nearby.
12. The one who only talks about their upcoming wedding.
Getting married is an all-consuming thing. There is so much to plan that 95% of your life becomes wedding nonsense. I mean, there is no time to talk about anything else. Really.
13. The single friend who hates being single.
This is the friend who doesn’t let you forget that she thinks she’s going to be end up alone. She’s not.
14. The one who is rushing everything.
This friend might be rushing to get engaged because they’re at the age to get engaged. They might be buying a home in a certain area even though they’ve always wanted to live elsewhere. They might be rushing to advance their career because they think time is running out. It’s honestly stressful to be around this person. I’m stressed writing about it.
15. The one who has finally admitted to themselves that they hate everyone, so you don’t see them much anymore.
This friend was never actually your friend. They didn’t like you, and you probably didn’t like them. You’re now at an age where people can accept this and move on and hang out with the people they want to hang out with, regardless of who is still friends with who. It is a GLORIOUS TIME. This is one of the many perks of getting older. BYEEEEEEEEEEeEeEe