How to Survive Wedding Season When You Hate Weddings

The nice weather is rolling in, and it’s time to think about all those cards you’ve collected on your fridge. So many happy dates and happy couples to celebrate. Well, that’s what they say. Look, it’s not that you’re not happy for your friends … but do they all have to do this at the same time?

There are plenty of reasons to not like weddings: maybe one of them is your ex, maybe you sunburn easy, maybe you don’t want to spend absurd amounts of money, or maybe you’re just disillusioned with marriage in general (not like anyone could blame you). So don’t be ashamed if you’ve fallen into this category. But with the proper guidance, we can turn a bumpy, sweat-and-tear-filled summer into a totally bearable one.

Buy One Wedding Outfit

Here’s the deal: you might feel some pressure to have a new outfit for every wedding. That pressure is imaginary. No one cares what you wear unless you’re the bride. Pick out one good outfit for all the weddings (and maybe even some bridal parties too), and you can coast out the summer knowing you look good.

Get to the Registry Early

If you’re even going to buy the couple a gift in the first place, get to the registry ASAP.

You want to have first pick of their picks — don’t get stuck buying a $300 juicer or something. Once you’ve chosen an item, you’ll know exactly how much you have to budget for the rest of the weddings.

Check Off Your Obligations Quickly

If you’re lucky enough to be chosen as a maid of honor or a best man, that’s great! It means that your friend likes you enough to make some important decisions. At least you’ll know what you’re wearing to this one.

But don’t frantically deal with all your obligations at the end, all while stressing out the bride or groom. Not only is it stressful,  last minute stuff is pricey. And trust me, it’s already gonna cost you a pretty penny. Don’t make it worse than it already is.

Reception > Ceremony

As long as you’re not a part of the wedding party, try to skip the actual ceremony. It’s by far the most boring part of the wedding. Just skip the whole ordeal and show up for the reception.

Figure Out Your Bar Balance

Hopefully, they have an open bar, so you won’t have a balance at the end of the night, but this is a different kind of bar balance. It’s the balance of time that you can safely spend at the bar at any one wedding without risking embarrassment or admonishment. The balance is determined by:

  • Your tolerance (pretty self-explanatory)
  • The composition of other guests — are they all your grandmother’s bridge buddies or your college roommates?
  • The time of day — night weddings are usually more rambunctious than brunch weddings
  • How much you care what people think of you

Find a Buddy

The best way to make this season bearable is to have someone sitting right there alongside you, equally broke and hungover from the last wedding. Scan your circle of friends, but don’t worry if no one comes to mind. You’ll definitely find someone to latch onto at the wedding itself.  

Don’t restrict yourself to just romantic partners either. Get a friend to be your plus one, or find a gaggle of girls to hang around at the reception. They’ll make sure that you’ve got a buddy, and you might even start having fun.

At the end of the season, that’s the ultimate goal. Hopefully, you’ll move from dreading weddings to looking back on the season with a smile. You’ll survive, just like you did last year, and just like you will next year too.

 

Dayton Uttinger

Dayton socializes for a living and writes for fun. Her rarely relevant degree gives her experience in political science, writing, Spanish, rugby, theater, coding, and spreading herself too thin. She will forever be a prisoner of her family’s business, doomed to inherit responsibility despite frequent existential protests.

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