14 Things That Used To Be Fun On The Weekends That Sound Awful Now


Weekends have changed so much since even 2 years ago when I was 26. I have a different definition of ‘fun,’ and I am still coming to terms with the fact I have new interests. Part of me wants to like what I used to like, but part of me is TERRIFIED of what I used to like. I guess that’s growing up?

Here are 14 things I used to think were fun that I am kind of afraid of now. Kind of.


1. Going home on Friday after work to chill and THEN going out at like 10.

If I go home after work on a Friday, I am fucking home for the fucking night. Especially if I take off my pants and/or bra. I just WORKED all day. How in the world would I have time or energy to relax and then regain energy to put on clothes and socialize all before my bedtime which is, like, idk midnight for a Friday if I’m feeling ~crazy~.


2. Day drinking AND night drinking… in the same day.

I could not even do this in college, never mind after college. It was always a goal for me. I wanted to be able to hang all day and all night, but alas, I would always drink too much in a short period of time and end up face first in the toilet. I had FOMO and couldn’t stomach the thought of missing something fun and going to bed. Now I don’t really give a fuck so


3. Sleeping in and wasting a perfectly good weekend day.

Helloooo I have to go grocery shopping and to barre and maybe to Soul Cycle. I have to meal plan for the week and make MEMES for the Instagram and email people back who I keep ignoring and write shit like this. I don’t have time for a mother fucking hangover – or to sleep in with or without a hangover. No sleep till idk when k.


4. Showering, doing my hair, putting on a #face, and putting on fancy pants or a dress.

I JUST WANT TO BE IN YOGA PANTS. WITH NO BRA. AND NO WHERE TO BE. Is that too much to ask for? The whole process of showering, blow drying my hair, putting on makeup, putting on an outfit, oh my god it’s exhausting. I can’t do that now without wanting to jump out the window unless I take like five adderalls before.


5. Going out with a large group of people.

I used to think going to a bar with 30 people was fun. But in what world is going to a bar with 30 people fun? Who do you talk to? Can you talk to everyone? Do you have time to have more than a superficial conversation with anyone? Even now it’s weird when big groups go out because no one fucking cares enough to say beyond “hello” to people they don’t regularly speak to. It’s like why are we all here together as one group, would it be rude to go home and watch Netflix, would anyone notice amongst this big group of randoms if I left? *Birthdays not included*


6. Being on a mass text with a large group of people.

Every Friday I always looked forward to mass texts. It was a time I’d get to find out what everyone else was doing so I could pick the best plans for me accordingly. There would also be text notifications on my phone all day and I would feel really #popular. Over time, though, mass texts got annoying. No one answered them. They angered some people. Oh, and everyone already had plans for the weekend by Friday because we got old and old people plan shit in advance. Then it was RIP to the mass text and hello to the opposite: “please do not contact me and try to convince me to do something tonight because I really want to sit on my couch and lose weight” until someone asks what I’m doing and I end up going out and gain weight instead. Fuck.


7. Meeting new people.

I realize I am ‘only 28,’ but like I already know a lot of people. Do I need to know more people? I mean, I like meeting new people and making new friends depending on the situation. But when I’m spending time on the weekend catching up with friends, that is not the time to meet new people.


8. Interacting with people… in general.

Couch > Club.


9. Taking shots at a bar.

I’ve been afraid of shots since I took one of Goldschlager freshman year of college in someone’s dorm room and threw it back up in a trashcan. I still don’t understand the thrill of ordering ‘shots for everyone’ and taking them together as one big cult. Like cool you get drunk faster but we’re almost 30 why are we still drinking to black out? If a black out happens, oops my bad, but aren’t we past forcing them? STOP TRYING TO MAKE BLACK OUTS HAPPEN, THEY’LL HAPPEN IF THEY HAPPEN K BYE


10. Pre-gaming.

I was always a champion of the pre-game. It was a time where friends would gather and catch up before heading to a loud bar. It was a time where I could get drunk off my own booze instead of paying triple the price for the same drinks while out. I could also make sure I was drunk before going to a crowded place that is literally only fun when you’re drunk. When you stop pre-gaming, you realize that most of the shit you thought was fun, isn’t actually fun. Anyway, I don’t pre-game anymore because I’m almost 30 and I go to the bar before my pre-games used to start.


11. Ordering pizza after a night out.

Now, not only do I have no interest in sacrificing sleep to stay awake for the pizza to get here, I can’t eat that shit. I’ll drunk eat grapes or I’ll starve and spend the next 36 hours hungover. Or MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STOP DRINKING SO MUCH, I AM ALMOST 30 YEARS OLD GOD DAMNIT.


12. Skipping workouts to eat food at brunch instead.

I couldn’t, like, do both. Brunch was an all day event after sleeping off the worst of my hangover and a gateway drug into being lazy for the next 24 hours. How the fuck did I run an online magazine in my 20s? The world may never know. Anyway – I still skip workouts to eat food, but it’s not fun anymore. It’s just depressing and makes me look in the mirror and cry.


13. Becoming “hungover hungry.”

I can’t afford the calories that come after being hungover because when I’m hungover hungry, I eat all the chicken fingers and French fries I can find. It seriously fucks up my whole week. I end up neglecting strawberries and cucumbers all week because alcohol gave me that sweet taste of carbs and fried food. It can take days for me to get back to normal. Shit fucks with me, not even kidding.


14. Giving a fuck.

I used to give too many fucks. Now I don’t give any. You should try it some time. It’s liberating.

Here’s What New Year’s Eve Is *Really* Like At Each Age In Your 20s

When the check comes after no one orders booze at brunch and you realize how cheap it is to not drink (1)

New Year’s Eve is hands down the most overrated holiday in the existence of holidays. It’s first flaw is that it comes after Christmas. It’s second flaw is that it tries to compete with other party holidays like July 4th and Memorial Day, but those holidays occur when the weather is nice out—not when there are frostbite warnings. It’s third flaw is that it’s trying way too hard. We’re expected to get dressed up to do literally the same thing we do every time we socialize, and we have to drink champagne, which gives me fierce heartburn.

As a 29-year-old female, I can now officially recite the story of “New Year’s Eves of Sam’s Past” and it’s both a scary and relatable tale. Below you will find how I spent each NYE in my 20s. The scene changes but the thought process remains the same. It’s a story of realization and finding one’s true self at the bottom of a couch cushion under a faux fur blanket.

Here is a look at New Year’s Eve at every age in your (I mean my) 20s.



Finding a party when everyone is home for winter break is like being in high school again. All of your friends’ parents are tired from raising kids that are now 20, so that means no house party. You can’t go to a bar because they’re strict on NYE and you could lose your fake ID. You’re left waiting until the day of to make plans, which consist of you and 16 of your friends going to your friends’ friends’ friends’ random off-campus house party at a nearby college where you get drunk, puke, and end up crashing on your friends’ parent’s couch.



You can FINALLY legally go out, but your friends can’t decide on a bar because everyone wants to spend the night differently. You finally decide on a random bar that only has a $20 cover because you’re way too poor to pay the expensive covers at the “real” bars.  You get a sparkly dress and a bunch of cheap champagne for the pre-game and spend your night doing the same thing you do every weekend: blacking out at a bar. You get pizza after and assume future NYEs will be better when you can actually afford to go to a cool place.



Your friends decide on a place to pre-game, but don’t decide on a bar because they all cost money and you can’t even afford a $10 cover. After pre-gaming, you wander in to a dive bar where you’re completely overdressed. You get black out drunk and then end up at McDonalds. The next morning you look back on the night before and think, WOW THAT WAS THE BEST NYE EVER, but that’s only because you don’t remember it because you blacked out.



You have some money to spend, so you search online for an awesome bar to go to. Your friends won’t commit to a bar though because they’re all waiting for better plans to come along. You finally say fuck this and get tickets to a bar for $60 with a few friends. You arrive to the bar in a fierce outfit (AKA you upgraded your dress choice from Forever 21 to Urban Outfitters), but you find the passed apps are already gone and the champagne toast is a joke. However, the party favors are lit. You get black out drunk so you assume you had fun, but you remember how crowded it was so you vow to never do one of these lame bar parties on New Year’s Eve ever again.

Here’s me on NYE at 23. Shoutout to the girl who just bought this dress from my Poshmark store.




You won’t go to a bar and no one you know has an apartment that is big enough for a party so you’re left with no plans. Luckily at the last minute, a friend comes through with an invite to an open bar party at a bar. It’s fun, but you felt sick all week because it’s cold out so you don’t get black out. You go home before 1am. You begin to realize New Year’s Eve is not actually that much fun—you’ve just been getting black out drunk on the night every year. Hmmm….



You’re confused about how to celebrate. You’re as close to 20 as you are to 30 so it still acceptable to get black out drunk off of cheap champagne, or should you be classy and get tipsy off a bottle of Dom P? Can you wear a sparkly dress with tights, or should you wear something more appropriate for the weather outside which calls for sixteen layers of sweaters? Do you even want to go out? Do you even have friends that want to go out? Speaking of friends, what happened to all of them??? You wait until the last minute to make plans and go to a nice dinner with a few friends. It’s nothing special, but you are now well aware that NYE is nothing special, so it’s fine. You just wish you had money and friends to go to a black tie party or something. One day…



At the last minute, a friend decides to have people over. You call it a “party” which is funny, because 20 people at a house to you used to be a really tame pre-game. Look at how much you’ve grown! You drink some champagne. You get a little tipsy. But you go home at a decent time after midnight because you don’t want to get screwed by Uber and pay an insane surcharge.



Your friend decides to throw a “party.” However, everyone invited is busy. Why is it that everyone always has all these big plans except you? You make it a resolution to be less free the next year. You question whether or not leaving your apartment to go to this friends’ place will be worth it since no one is going. Is it worth getting stuck with an insane Uber surcharge fee? Is it worth getting dressed instead of staying on the couch in sweatpants? Is it worth drinking calories when your metabolism is slow as fuck now? You decide to go out, but you end up getting too dressed up, eating too much cheese, drinking too much wine, and paying too much for Uber. You feel like you’re getting too old for this shit now. Help.

HEY EVERYONE, COME SEE HOW OVERDRESSED I REALLY WAS ON NYE AT 27. I’m the second one in from the left.




You try to make plans, but the single people don’t want to be around the couples, so you give up. You surrender to a last-minute gathering at a friend’s place with everyone who didn’t have plans, including you, because you still manage to always be free when everyone else is doing cool shit. You don’t drink too much because you want to work out the next day and you’ve been eating shit for the entire week so you feel bloated and gross. The entire time you’re out, you wish you were at home on your couch under a faux fur blanket in sweatpants watching Netflix. You leave immediately after midnight. You don’t even care that the Uber surcharge was 6x. You just want to go home.



Instead of trying to find plans this year, you avoid finding plans. You would love to go out if you had a really cool black tie party to attend or if your friends rented out a bar. The problem: you have no black tie party to attend because you never became wildly rich in your 20s and you literally lost the majority of your friends over the past 10 years so you don’t know enough people to fill a rented bar. All you want to do this year is drink a wine, have a cheese, and wake up the next morning so you can go to SoulCycle and stomach a salad. But next year, you would like to be rich so you can throw a wild black tie party for all the friends you don’t have anymore or go on vacation. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? IS IT? Maybe NYE gets better and classier in your 30s? I guess we’ll see.

6 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’ve Celebrated Your Birthday On St. Patrick’s Day


It’s slightly terrifying. I don’t care how ready you think you are or how acclimated to alcohol high school made you—turning 21 when you’re a St. Patrick’s Day baby is unreal. I like to think of myself as an old soul. I got the partying out of my system pretty early in life, so by the time my 21st birthday rolled around, I wasn’t really interested in getting wasted. This didn’t stop almost everyone in my life from harassing me all day. After all, it was St. Patrick’s Day.

Celebrating your birthday on St. Patrick’s Day – whether it’s your 21st, 25th, 30th, or whatever – will always be a shit show, no matter what. Here are 6 things you’ll only understand if you’ve been forced to celebrate your birthday on the drinking holiday, like me.


1. Everywhere you go, alcohol is shoved in your face, even if you don’t want it.

It’s bad enough to turn 21 in general, but doing it on the one day a year dedicated to getting wasted? There’s no way you can make it out alive.


2. Literally everyone buys you shots. And you have to take them.

Shots on the house, shots from friends, shots from coworkers…I’m a small girl, and I started to believe that these people were genuinely trying to murder me. I took a few, but like I said: I wasn’t trying to get wasted. The rest of the night, I felt like I was on a mission to stay sober.

The worst part is, I couldn’t really let anyone know what I was up to because they were all wasted themselves. I had a feeling if I confessed I wanted to stay sober, they’d pick me up and shove a beer funnel down my throat or something. Instead, I strategically handed off shots to people seated next to me. When they asked where the shot came from, I’d act really confused and then insist that they had ordered it. I actually pulled this off.


3. All eyes aren’t really on you.

I’m a complete ham, especially on my birthday. I want everyone there for me, looking at me, talking to me, buying me presents, adorning me with crowns and sashes…this doesn’t happen on St. Patrick’s Day. Everyone is too wrapped up getting wasted because this is a holiday for them, not just your birthday. It’s sort of a buzzkill, but at least we don’t have to share our birthday with Jesus like Christmas babies. You know, just with a small dude with a pot of gold.


4. You get to pinch a bunch of drunk people.

I have to admit, this got a whole lot better once I turned 21. Pinching sober people isn’t nearly as fun as pinching a bunch of people who are blasted out of their minds and not wearing green. I have no complaints for this one—what could be better than being allowed to pinch people on your birthday?


5. People assume you’re Irish.

Combine drunken minds with the fact that it’s your birthday and people will assume your Irish. Because that makes sense. All Irish people were born on March 17.


6. You get hit on way more than the average girl on St. Patrick’s Day.

Based solely on the fact that you are the Birthday Bitch. This is either a great thing or super annoying, depending on who you are.


Don’t get me wrong—I had a lot of fun on my 21st birthday. However, it should be noted that I did spend the entire night fighting off alcohol poisoning. The moral of the story is this: If you’re the type who likes to binge just because you can, then being born on St. Patrick’s Day is an absolute blessing. But if you’re like me and you prefer to enjoy things in moderation, you’ll spend your birthday dodging Jell-O shots and tequila-flavored gummy bears. Either way, it’s a good time.

Why It’s Totally Okay To Stay In Tonight—And Why It Doesn’t Mean You’re Boring


Unbeknownst  to your college self, sometimes people stay in. Yes – that means they don’t go out. On a Friday night, sometimes people are SO tired that they just want to put on sweatpants, get in bed, and turn on whatever movie is on ABC Family (I’m totally not talking about what I did last night… or am I?).

In college, staying in was not an option. Maybe you did it once – or twice – to study for a final or to sleep off a nasty hangover from the night before… but it was pretty much frowned upon. FOMO (fear of missing out) was at it’s peak. Every weekend your mind screamed at you to go out. It constantly pressured you, ‘who KNOWS what you will miss out on at the bar tonight or at that overcrowded house party down the street!’

After experiencing 4 years of FOMO, I can justify that you most likely wouldn’t have missed out on anything if you stayed in that one night sophomore year or that one weekend senior year. Instead of hooking up with someone you shouldn’t have… or drinking yourself to getting diagnosed with strep throat at the health center… you could have been resting so you would be well enough for the next night and/or getting some work done so you wouldn’t have to pull an all nighter before classes on Monday.

In the real world, we are much more aware of the silliness of FOMO. Not only will we not be missing out on anything if we stay in next Friday night, we don’t exactly have anything to miss out on. Our lives are not as exciting as they were in college. And that’s fine. Actually, it’s awesome. Staying in helps us stay healthy (have you ever wondered why you haven’t missed the convenience of the health center since you graduated?). It helps us catch up on our lives. It helps us actually be able to get stuff done the next day, rather than moping around with a vicious hangover.

I’m not saying that people should stay in all the time – that is certainly not okay. We are in our twenties. This is pretty much the last decade we have to live it up and not be compared to one of the real housewives of New Jersey (ahh! anything but that!). As a twenty something, you have to go out on a regular basis and have fun with your friends (old and new). There’s no need to rush the process of growing up. Enjoy your youth… please.

If you still go out on a regular basis, taking a few weekend nights to yourself is perfectly fine. There are only two days now for us to get all our errands and extra things we do done (Saturday and Sunday). Most of us go into work early and leave work late during the week, barely leaving any time for the gym – nevermind errands. And if we’re hungover all the time during the weekend, how are we supposed to get anything done? We can’t.

Life isn’t like it was in college anymore. We know that. Meaning that staying in sometimes is fine. Work is tiring. Errands are necessary. And rest is essential to avoiding illness (which you can’t have right now… work is just too crazy!). Sometimes even if we want to go out, none of our friends will be able to… so we are forced to stay in away. In order to get over comparing your new life to your college life, forget about FOMO (it doesn’t exist)… make sure you’re going out at least a few times a month (you should try to go out at least once a weekend, but obviously this can’t always happen – especially if you have to work on the weekend – sigh)… rest up so you don’t get sick…  and have fun being young. Know that it is okay to stay in sometimes. As long as you’re still having fun, don’t get depressed thinking that you’re ‘so boring now’ and that ‘your life sucks.’ You’re not boring and your life doesn’t suck. You’re in you twenties. Live it up… with a few breaks here and there!

5 Ways My Early 20s Would Have Been Different If They Took Place Now Instead Of 2011


It was only a few years ago that I was running through the streets of Boston like a fucking idiot every Saturday night (I mean early Sunday morning) at 2am trying to convince a cab to pick me up while also ordering pizza to arrive to my apartment at the same time as me. But while this may feel like yesterday, so much has changed since – and I don’t mean my desire to go out or stay in (that has changed immensely, though) or the fact some of the bars I frequented most have closed (I just saw that the bar I had the most black outs at while 21,, Tequila Rain, closed – RIP). I’m talking about life in general.

In such a short amount of time (5-7 years), the game has completely changed. The music, the clothes, the “cool bars,” the “sexy necklaces,” even the transportation. Here are 5 ways my early 20s would have been different if they took place now instead of 2011.


1. I would probably have more money in the bank because I could have Venmo-requested people for all the cabs and drinks I covered in return of someone “getting the next one,” which no one ever did.

Sure, I wouldn’t have been able to get away with not paying people for stuff, but paying for an entire cab or buying a round of drinks is more expensive than the cost of one drink.


2. I would have stayed out longer instead of rushing to “call a cab” or to flag one down before everyoneeeeee else tried doing the same.

After spending some horrific nights walking the streets until after 3am hoping an empty cab would drive us home, I became traumatized. I had to make sure I was in a cab before the rush. Now, no one fucking takes cabs, so not only is a cab always available, but you’ve also got Uber and Lyft and other apps featuring real life regular people driving other people around in their real life regular cars. Uber and co were life-changing concepts, and kids today just don’t understand… They’ll never know the struggle!


3. I would have probably been okay with the thought of being single because now dating options are endless for young people.

“Back in my day,” when we graduated college we feared there would be no way to meet potential significant others and hookups ever again unless you found someone at a bar or met someone at work. With dating apps, though, you can meet 20 potential hookups just by sitting on your couch with no bra on. Like, college was disgusting enough. Imagine how weird it gets now. Or how weird it DOESN’T get. I wonder if people stay in a lot more now because they don’t actually have to leave their homes to find mates. Hmm…


4. My closet would not be filled with cutesy clothes. It would be edgy AF.

With subtle hints of goth and major whiffs of chic. I call it: goth chic! The ’90s, with an upgrade! Also, this is a given but my trillion statement necklaces would have been replaced with one choker, so I probably wouldn’t have wasted so much money on random necklaces from Francesca’s that I would wear a few times for one month until the gold started to fade.


5. I would not have taken a million photos and uploaded them to social media every weekend, naming the photo album after a popular rap song.

Instead, I would take a few Snapchats and upload one picture to Instagram (or a few select pictures to of those new picture series) from a night out. It wasn’t cool to be mysterious in the least back in 2010, but now it kind of is. We definitely overdid it with the pictures, guys. This is one reason I’m happy my early 20s happened “back then.” I was blacked out 85% of the time, so it’s nice having the memories.


8 Thoughts I Have About New Year’s Eve In My Late 20s Compared To My Early 20s


At the beginning of 2016 on January 1st, I looked at myself in my full length mirror and said: this is the Year of Sam.

I was about to give two weeks notice at my old job. I then spent all of my money on a vacation before starting my new job that was supposed to pay me that money back and more. Then, that position didn’t work out, and I was unemployed for half the year. Although doing nothing for six months was fucking fantastic, getting paid would have been better. Things continued to spiral in both my personal life and in the news – other than the fact I got a new job and got engaged. But then I learned I couldn’t afford the wedding I desired, so that sucked.

Now, here we are again. It’s almost January 1st of 2017, and I refuse to refer to this year as the year of Sam, or the year of anything because WHO KNOWS what will happen next. This is why New Year’s Eve is the most overrated, overhyped holiday of all time. Each year on December 31st we celebrate the fact that tomorrow is coming – even though tomorrow comes at the end of every day, literally. And we HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING.

I didn’t think like this when I was younger. New Year’s Eve was party time, and I was always SO excited to ring in the new year. I never thought about what it could bring, other than positivity and good change. Now that I’m older, I’ve become much more negative. I am basically on my way to becoming a bitter, cynical, elderly Jewish woman. Which I guess is #science, since I am both getting older and I am Jewish.

All New Year’s Eve means is we’re getting older and time is going by too fast, much like birthdays. This year, I plan to treat it like any other weekend night, because I want to pretend life isn’t flying by. I also have trouble staying up until midnight sometimes so that’s a thing.

Here are 7 thoughts I had about New Year’s Eve in my early 20s versus the thoughts I have now, at age 28, in my late-20s.


1. On where to go

Early 20s: Everywhere is so expensive! Let’s go to that same bar we go to every weekend. It’s only $50, and you get party hats and a champagne toast! What a deal!

Late 20s: I refuse to pay anything to get into a bar. I would go on vacation or do a nice dinner or sit on someone’s couch. Or all of the above.


2. On what to wear

Early 20s: Sparkles! Glitter! Forever 21! Rent the Runway! Even if we’re going to a dive or going to someone’s trashy apartment, I’m going to douse myself in fanciness.

Late 20s: Can I wear yoga pants? Or at least a sweater? It’s cold out.


3. On 7 people sitting on a couch

Early 20s: Staying in.

Late 20s: A party!


4. On going out

Early 20s: We have to get to the bar by 8pm??? That is way too early.

Late 20s: Come over at 630pm!


5. On getting around on NYE

Early 20s: We’ll figure it out!!!

Late 20s: I’m afraid to leave my house because of Uber’s surcharges… *Everyone races to try and invite people over their place first so they don’t have to leave home*


6. On midnight

Early 20s: Midnight is at the beginning of the night. The real question is what are we doing AFTER midnight?

Late 20s: I can’t remember the last time I stayed out until midnight!


7. On New Year’s Day

Early 20s: Let’s do brunch! Hopefully I won’t be too hungover and have to cancel, lololol!

Late 20s: I’m going to work out, run errands, the usual. Definitely can’t drink too too much this year, don’t want to start the year off hungover.


8. On Resolutions

Early 20s: I’m going to lose weight, be organized, drink less, cook more, and be a nicer person this year!

Late 20s: Fuck resolutions. I’m just going to continue doing me this year. Tomorrow is just another day after all.