Asshole. Noun. A guy who does not feel the same way about you.

Let’s be serious ladies. Any guy that doesn’t like you when you either like him or want him to like you is, in your eyes, a total and complete asshole… no matter how nice he actually is. No, there’s nothing he can do about his feelings, but you don’t care because anyone that doesn’t want you is a huge dick. Right?

This is why us females love assholes. I mean, who can resist a bad boy with an attitude that says “I want nothing to do with you except maybe sex until I find a girl I’m actually into”? None of us. Life would be pretty boring with no guy problems to complain about anyway… Here are 10 signs you are addicted to *assholes* (and not that kind of ass hole, the person kind of asshole).


1. You have no interest in guys that are interested in you. You say you love *the chase* but no, you just love assholes.

2. You have given a guy a blow job, been asked to leave after, and then went back to do it again the next time he reached out. There’s giving, but there’s no receiving, and you for some reason are still into him.

3. You fantasize about your future life with a guy who only texts you on weekend nights after 2am. Stop trying to make a relationship happen. It’s not going to happen.

4. You still had an interest in that guy you hooked up with AFTER finding out he had a girlfriend. He was probably just, like, really into you. Yeah, that’s why he cheated. He probably, like, doesn’t cheat on her with anyone else. Right?

5. You have talked about “having no label” with your “long-term hookup” while smiling and nodding, pretending you were totally okay with it. You weren’t. But you’ll do ANYTHING to be with an asshole, sooooo…

6. It turns you on when guys call you “crazy” and/or “bitch” and/or “psycho” and/or a “cunt.” Or, I don’t know, maybe this is just me.

7. You’ve been cheated on, but forgave that douche immediately and acted like nothing happened. Getting treated like shit is fun!!!!!!!!!!!

8. A guy has actually said “I don’t like you” and for some reason you still proceeded to sleep with him. There’s nothing like hooking up with a guy who has no interest in you and doesn’t even have to lie to you to get in your pants.

9. You went on a first date with a guy and ended up splitting the bill, and then went out with him again. Why? WHY?

10. You know a guy has a history of cheating, but honestly believe he would change for you. Once a cheater always a cheater. DUH.

What dumb things have you done that have all signs pointing to… YOU LOVE ASSHOLES? Leave it in the comments.

And after you finish thinking of how PATHETIC you’ve been, this year vow to make a change. Let’s all resolve for 2015 to love assholes less and love ourselves more. Because there are soooooo many better things to be doing with our lives than overanalyzing a one worded text message from a douche bag. You know… like mingling with all the dudes who think you’re Beyonce, because well… YOU ARE.  #GIRLPOWER


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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