Let’s face the facts: there comes a point in the life of every young adult when they realize they are on the back burner in a friend’s life. If you’re someone’s side friend, you’re essentially as reliable as their pet cat but more disposable. It’s a sad reality and the worst part is, most of you aren’t willing to admit that you are, in fact, a side friend. Here are 10 signs that you’re on the back burner in a friendship, and if one more or apply, it’s time to get out.

1. You have unanswered text messages.

You send a message and don’t get a response until 24 hours later. Which is fine… Unless you know that your friend lives with their phone in their hand.


2. Your friend always says they don’t want to commit to things right away.

Again, not a red alarm. But who likes being left in constant limbo waiting to see whether or not you’re going to hang out?


3. I can’t go out, I’m busy is the answer to every invite.

Priorities. Yes, work, studying, and life all have their place. But when you get denied and then wander over to SnapChat and see your friend doing shots, chances are you’re not a priority.


4. There are no pictures of you and your friend on social media.

Instagram? Facebook? The only captions your username appears on are the ones that say “photo credit.” You don’t exist in front of the camera or anywhere on their feed because there is no reason for the world to know that you guys are friends.

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5. You’re constantly thinking, thanks for the invite.

Birthdays, hikes, and parties, somehow the very things you want to do, all go on without you. Did your invite get lost in the mail? More than likely you just weren’t on the list, which is also why you’re not in the group photo.


6. Who else is going? is a common question when making plans.

You alone aren’t good enough to spend time with on a Friday night, there always has to be more people to get your friend’s attention. Sure, I’ll just invite a bunch of other friends who I don’t know to go to the movies with us, because that’s totally normal.


7. When you do hang out, you’re still the third wheel.

May as well have stayed home. I mean, you’re out of the conversations, out of the inside jokes and out of having a good time.


8. Your relationship is all give and no take.

You’re always there, faithful and supportive, but you can never fully trust your friend to be in there for you to catch you when you’re falling. Except when they need a last minute plus one or have to avoid someone else, they’re not down at a moment’s notice.


9. They forget your birthday.

They forget the important moments in your life, not cool.


10. They’ve said, what was your name again?

If this isn’t a sign that you’re a side friend, I don’t know what is.


How did you do? If you fall under most of these categories, it’s probably time to find a new squad. Did I miss any signs? Comment your own friendship red flags below!


Peter Gonzalez is 21 years young and is a firm believer that the successful adult is the kid that never fully grew up. He lives on the Central Coast where the only complaint is that he doesn’t get to hit up the beach as often as he’d like. Peter is currently working on getting from his Liberal Arts degree to his Journalism degree so that he can fulfil his dream of becoming the next Ryan Seacrest/Oprah Winfrey media icon. Until then he is balancing academics while working as Barista, which gives him the opportunity to interact with a variety of people and misspelling a great many names along the way. Peter is fascinated with movies from the 1940’s to the present day, with his top 2 being All about Eve and Rear Window. He also fills up his free time with writing, creating soundtracks, taking photos of everything, Taylor Swift, binge watching and learning to cook like the FoodNetwork, but like everything it’s all a work in progress. You can follow Peter and his thoughts on Twitter @itsmepeterg or on Tumblr at manylittletruths.tumblr.com

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