There comes a time in every 20-something’s life when you finally realize that the couch is actually much better than the club. This realization doesn’t mean you will no longer have a social life, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t rendezvous at the club ever again, but you will start doing so less and less because you, my friend, are hashtag over it. Here are 10 things that happen when you become so totally over going out like you used to.


1. When friends ask you to hang out, you ask if you can wear sweatpants. Basically, you own more yoga pants than going out shirts. Comfort is everything. Athleisure over jeans and tight dresses for life.



2. 10pm becomes more your bedtime than “leave for the bars time.” 



3. You become terrified at the thought of waiting in line to get inside of a bar.



4. You want to talk to your friends when you get to see them – not scream at them. When you’re not at a bar or a club, you can actually hold conversations with people without screaming and saying “what” over and over again wondering what you’re yelling about.



5. You lose interest in meeting new people at bars. You already know everyone you want to know. And if you’re on the hunt for an S/O, you no longer have an interest meeting this person at a bar. Or going home with strangers. Because you don’t want to die.



6. You cringe when kids younger than your younger siblings post pictures on Facebook checking in at bars you used to go to. And now, by default, you feel like you can’t go there anymore. So where the EFF can you go?!



7. You find better things to spend your money on than expensive Ubers and overpriced shots. When you don’t go out, this is what your life looks like.

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8. Your work wardrobe becomes more important to you than your Saturday night wardrobe. In fact, when you actually do have plans to go out on a Saturday night, you find yourself wearing work clothes because, well, you have no “going out clothes” anymore.



9. You have stuff to do on the weekends now and can’t spend all day Saturday and Sunday hungover. Saturday mornings are now more sacred to you than Friday nights, it’s fine.



10. You can no longer afford the calories consumed from drunk eating because your metabolism is basically gone. So you have basically decided to avoid drinking as much as possible. Your metabolism is getting slower everyday. And it can’t keep up with your drunk eating problem.



All in all, with each day you are turning more and more into Lauren Conrad. She used to tear up the club scene. Now she tears up the Instagram scene with DIY projects and stuff. She, like you, hit a point where she was just, like, over it.

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Couch > Da Club 4 Lyfe


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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