This past weekend was my sister’s baby shower. It was hosted at my parent’s house, where I still live. She and her husband came up to visit as well as our grandparents, aunt, and cousin. My house, which usually just has me and my parents living in it, was filled with six additional people. I gave up my bedroom for the couchSix people shared my bathroom while I moved my morning and evening routine into my parents bathroom.
Being the youngest in my household meant that I was expected to make most of the sacrifices for everyone else. That left me a little bitter about having everyone visit at once. In the end, I was happy to see them, but I am still feeling a little annoyed about the things that always happen when they visit.
1. Your youth gets you demoted from your own bed to the couch.
Old people need a firm mattress and lots of space to support their aging joints. Since you are young they assume you can sleep on a couch for the entirety of the their visit without waking up sleep deprived with a crick in your neck. They are wrong. There’s also one person who always stays up really late, watching t.v. on your “bed” and another person who wakes up really early and makes sure you know it by making every possible noise ever, so you’re lucky to get 4 hours of sleep a night.
2. You get trapped into listening to an hour long story about someone you don’t know.
Your grandpa, who is way to into researching the family tree, always brings some photographs with him to visit you so he can show you pictures of the people he tells you about. You really don’t care because these people died years before you were born and even though they are your family, you don’t care unless they did something really extraordinary that you can tell your friends about.
3. You gain 5 pounds every time you eat.
Every meal is extravagant because it’s not often that you get to sit down to eat with your whole family. You try to keep to your diet, but who can when there are fresh, homemade doughnuts in the kitchen? Not to mention all the junk food your grandma brought you.
4. You get slightly insulted, but not intentionally.
One family member is bound to make a comment about the way you look or the way your are living your life. They mean the best, but every comment is like a small needle to the heart. You want nothing more than to shush their suggestions, but they are family you just brush it off and smile politely through every comment.
5. You get a thorough interrogation of your love life.
If you don’t have anyone special in your life, you’ll definitely be asked if you have your eye on someone. If you do have someone special, you will probably be answering the same questions about that person until the end of time. You’ll be asked the person’s name, occupation, political views, and so on overtime you see your family.
6. Someone always pulls up a picture from your awkward phase.
Your mom, without fail, brings out the dorkiest picture of you–pre-braces, pre-contacts, pre-fashion sense–and she shows everyone. No matter how much you protest her showing the world the most embarrassing period of your life, she always insists you were cute and someone, usually your cousin, takes a picture of the photo to share on social media. You have two choices after that: embrace the grow-up or hide in shame.
7. You have to accommodate your busy schedule for the slow pokes.
You expect everyone to be up and ready to go by noon, but there is always one person who takes a little too long getting ready and once that person is ready you have gather everyone up and decide your game plan for the day. A casual shopping trip suddenly turns into a military operation that takes forever to plan.
8. You become their personal tech guru.
Because you are young they assume you know how to work modern technology and they ask you to teach them how to operate it. They are right, but how many different ways can you explain how Facebook works before wanting to bash your head into their iPad.
9. You become the honorary babysitter.
Your age gives your aunts the perfect excuse to pawn their children off to you. They tell you that you need the babysitting experience because you are at an age where you will probably be having kids in the next few years. They never even ask if you want kids.
10. You count the hours until you can enjoy peace and quiet again.
You love them but, you don’t think you have ever missed alone time this much before. When they finally leave you just sit in silence for a while and enjoy every moment of it.