1. There is a life outside of the Internet… Or at least I think there is. I remember the days when signing online and using the computer was a special privilege… like eating candy. Now if I’m not on the computer, I’m not getting paid. In fact, I’m probably sleeping.

2. Mountain Dew is similar to crack. Back in the 5th grade, drinks like Mountain Dew and Surge (RIP) helped us to stay up way past our bedtime at sleepovers. When people drank it, they would start acting like they were either drunk, on something, or just snorted an entire pack of Fun Dip in approximately 2 seconds. While our moms drank their coffees, we snuck mountain dews out of the vending machine with the change we found in their bags. Need the energy to crawl through Discovery Zone’s maze and prance through the ball pit after? Grab a Mountain Dew.

3. Girls have power. And a lot of it. Thank you Spice Girls for filling the world in. *Girl Power.*

4. Our parents are OLD. Nickelodeon made many fantastic choices in the 90s… one of them being airing old school shows late at night (hence the name ‘Nick at Nite’) like Happy Days, I Love Lucy, The Wonder Years, and The Brady Bunch. These shows were awesome but they were also, like, sooo old. And the fact my parents watched most of these shows when they were NEW made them even older than I already thought they were. How did they grow up without… cable and computers??? This still remains a mystery to me.

5. No one is more talented than Will Smith. Movie Star. TV Star. Singer/Rapper. A triple threat. Kids Choice Award champion. Yeah, I remember when he made it into the ‘hall of fame’ or whatever that was. Lots of slime was involved. Lots of it.

6. Your childhood idols will most likely grow up to be troubled teens/adults. From The Olsen Twins to Lindsay Lohan, we have watched our all time favorite people fall on hard times. And it’s still happening today. Kids now have Miley Cyrus and that girl loves weed. She effing loves it. And although there’s nothing wrong with that, I wonder what her future will bring… And to think, I used to say she would grow up normal (I mean, I guess she is still normal – but I don’t see that lasting much longer). Like, what’s next? Taylor Swift getting a DUI? Yeah, RIGHT! …Right?

7. Don’t get married in college. Boy Meets World’s storyline got slightly awk when Topanga and Corey got married. I’ll never forget when they used a co-ed bathroom in college. I always pictured college to be like that… but it wasn’t.

8. Fads will come and go. Teenie beanie babies, tamagotchis, furbies… all gone… not worth the hundreds of dollars we our parents spent on them. That money could have gone toward college clothes.

9. Sleeping with the lights out is terrifying. With Are You Afraid of the Dark, Goosebumps, those dumb books that had stories to tell… in the dark, Scream, and eventually The Blair Witch Project, the 90s had me straight up wanting to use a nightlight at age 10. And no, I don’t use a nightlight anymore (even though I might want to think about investing in one – where do you get those anyway?), but I do make sure some light is shining into my room. I mean, there could be a creep robber under the bed!

10. Cruise ships can sink. In the 90s, James Cameron released a movie that would change my life forever – Titanic. And by change my life forever, I mean I forbid myself from ever going on a cruise ship. Seriously. And the recent ‘real life Titanic’ (yes – the news actually referred to this disaster as a ‘real life Titanic’ – I think they forgot that The Titanic was a real ship that really sunk)… just reiterated the fact that ships aren’t my thing. However, despite the number of nightmares brought about by Titanic, I will be seeing it (in iMax) come April 4th. Bring on the 90s nostalgia. I’ll never let go Jack. Oh wait – she did.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


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