1. Going to CTB hungover.


Literally, I haven’t been able to cure a hangover since I left Ithaca. Think what you want, but I’m blaming the lack of bagels and NOT my fading ability to handle booze… because my ability to handle booze is not fading… really… I swear…

2. Having it be SO DAMN EASY to stay in shape.


Staying in shape was easy in Ithaca thanks to ALL THE HILLS. And I mean both physical hills and also the Hill Center, where I had cheerleading practice. Now I spend the majority of my fleeting free time on the couch. There needs to be, like, a hill between my couch and the kitchen. That may help my constant need to LOUNGE, something of which I did not do at Ithaca. Ever. And also, we should talk about the Ithaca College gym, because I actually enjoyed going there. Not to run and lift free weights next to all the football players who could have gone to their own gym but didn’t because bitches, but because I was going to SEE PEOPLE and I could ask everyone what they were doing tonight or that weekend. Getting socializing and working out done was easy at Ithaca because you did it simultaneously. Now, that is impossible because there is no socializing at the gym since you don’t know any of the people there, you now have to choose between working out and socializing because you only have a few hours between work and sleep and you only have time for one, oh AND it’s not free — because working out was free at Ithaca. Help me I’m poor.

3. Going to Sammy’s, late night.

ls (1)

I’m still a fan of late night pizza, although such a thing does not exist because where I live (Boston) encourages you to drive drunk and also not eat pizza (AKA pizza places close before bars close — IT MAKES NO SENSE). But in Ithaca, Sammy’s was the place to be after a night of drinking because pizza… and also socializing… and also PIZZA. AND ALSO, sealing the deal on who was going to make the cut as hookup of the night. Because you were going to choose Sammy’s first before going home with someone, and if they didn’t hop on board that train, no hookup for you. But it was fine because pizza. That line though? Worth it. The one at Ameritaliashudigyefwuuiwe or whatever it was called? Non-existant. But you chose Sammy’s because you wanted to be where the action was.

4. Wegmans.


Sure, Wegmans opened near me (outside Boston) a couple months ago, and I basically go all the time (like multiple times a week, but who’s counting?)… but no Wegmans will EVER compare to the Wegmans in Ithaca, NY. Like, remember talking to your friends from home about the really cool and awesome grocery store in your college town and acting like it was the hottest club in all of New York? It was a fucking GROCERY STORE. You may have sounded nuts but whatever, they’ll never understand. Ithaca Wegmans had all the food, all the awkward encounters, all the candy, all the subs, all the salad, all the pasta, basically all the EVERYTHING. What didn’t Wegmans have? They had it all. GET IN LOSER, WE’RE GOING TO WEGMANS. It just doesn’t sound as much fun out here in Massachusetts 🙁

4. The Ice Cream Apple Sundae from the Purity stand at Applefest.


The best time of the year was OBVIOUSLY Applefest.. And yes, that is a festival for apples. Who even thought of this idea? Brilliance. Pure brilliance. LOOK AT THAT SUNDAE. DID YOU JUST HAVE AN ORGASM BECAUSE I DID.

5. The picturesque scenery.


Can you imagine if you went to Ithaca when Instagram existed? Oh, most of you reading this did? Umm… Well, if I wasn’t old AF, I would have instagrammed the fuck out of Ithaca. Taughannock Falls in VALENCIA? The fall foliage on campus in WALDEN? I’m literally freaking out just thinking about it.



Ithaca College was your quintessential college. Like, it was straight out of a movie (not Road Trip though… okay, maybe sort of kind of exactly like Road Trip). Before turning 21, you took your pick from multiple house parties – be it at the “[INSERT SPORT HERE] house,” that random address you heard was having a party so why not walk in, or that random circle you heard was having a party but probably wasn’t, house parties were the place to be. And they were wild. Like hundreds of kids shoved together inside and outside one random house. SO MANY NORTH FACES. And also, so many stolen North Faces. I was a big fan of the house party, and to this day I’m not sure why. It was just me and my disgusting-as-fuck Uggs drinking a poland springs bottle full of captain and diet coke in a corner. And then the cops would come and everyone would disperse and end up walking five miles back to campus. Also, can we talk about Kendall Day and Prospect Day because I miss them.

7. Moonies.

So this is what it used to look like...
So this is what it used to look like…
AND NOW. (courtesy of Moonies facebook page)
And this is what it looks like now… (courtesy of Moonies facebook page)

No list about Ithaca can be complete without a mention of Moonies. Whether you went there during the days of it being known as Moonshadow’s, or you partied there when it was Moonies, or you twerked there when it was Club Moonies, or you did whatever college kids started doing when it became Rave Moonies, Moonies is an Ithaca staple… and no matter how “turnt” (whatever that means) the bar/club/rave gets, it will always be near and dear to your heart. It was the place you went before heading to 2nd Floor for last call. THE RAVIEST DIVE EV. They even have bottle service now. Classy is an understatement guys.


8. The food.


Alllll the food. From late night at the Towers (which wasn’t even that good, but give me french fries at midnight and I’ll smile fa dayzzz) to brunch at the Terraces to burgers at Mahogany Grill and Ale House to takeout from CONFECTION CONNECTION and DP Dough to happy hour at Viva to fro-yo at Jason’s (although do the youths even go there anymore because there are, like, real fro-yo places in Ithaca now)… the food was amaze. I mean, Ithaca had these crazy festivals downtown strictly dedicated to food (Applefest and Chilifest). Like, SO MUCH FOOD guys. And that is why I gained 2789932984287978 pounds Freshman year. Or no, that is because I drank on a daily basis and also ate french fries every night and also ate pints of Ben and Jerry’s on the reg thanks to that fucking convenience store in the Towers that sold the subs where you could buy stuff with your magical ID card AKA bonus bucks AKA free money AKA thanks mom and dad. But anyway, I didn’t even get to experience all the food that Ithaca had to offer in my four years there… and now that I have branched out and eat things such as brussels sprouts and cauliflower, I am sure I would appreciate it that much more.

9. Going to parties and bars all the time and spending no money.

Remember this guy? He was kinda cheap.
Remember this guy? He was kinda cheap.

From spending $0-2 to take the Green Hornet (PARTY CAB) to a Cornell Frat, to bringing a plastic bottle of booze on your walk to stand at a house party off-campus, to spending maybe $3 on a drink at the bar which you probably shouldn’t have even bought because you were already black out from the pre-game, you spent in all four years of college maybe less than you spend on one month of going out now in the real world. Ithaca is Gorges, but it is also cheap. That’s probably why so many Jews went there (including me, hi).

10. Blackout Wednesday. (I saved the best for last)

Dunbars was a really classy establishment.
Dunbars was a really classy establishment.

There are few things in this world, if anything at all, I have enjoyed more than Ithaca’s Blackout Wednesdays. I don’t know if this was a “thing” for all people who attended Ithaca College, or if it was just a thing for us idiots who peaked in 2010, but think of it as: whatever random weeknight you invaded Cornell’s collegetown bars. For me and my fellow alumni, it was Wednesday. The night started off at Dunbars for group therapy where they fed you shots that tasted like cleaning supplies and also free popcorn of which i shoved in my face in a corner on many occasion… and it ended at Dino’s (RIP) to redeem our cab receipts which said we came from Cortland to receive an unlimited amount of booze for free which led to… dun dun dun… black out. At Dino’s, many hookups were born (or re-born, even if they should have been kept in da past), many unknown bruises were formed (one time I swan dove face first off a table, it’s fine), and many pictures were taken that were put on some wild 60-picture long Facebook album the following day that you would look at while either hungover in class, or throwing up at home because you were too hungover to go to class (this was me 60% of the time), and then be like WTF happened last night… because to this day, you actually have no idea. #BlackoutWednesday

Things I don’t miss about Ithaca: Stalking people who looked like they were going to get in their cars and leave the parking lot behind Park so I could steal their spot and maybe make it in time to class (WHY WERE THERE NO SPOTS EVER?), Winter, The Pyramid Mall (that was not a mall), having to drive all the way to Syracuse to go to a real mall (even though that mall didn’t even have what I was looking for… A MALL WITH NO NORDSTROM? WHAT IS THIS? A CENTER FOR ANTS?), Winter, Ethernet cords, Not getting a computer at the computer lab, WAITING FOR THINGS TO PRINT IN THE COMPUTER LAB, Being afraid to jump in the Gorges (I never did… and also, still afraid), Winter, Class (ugh, no one has time for that), the millions of stairs going up to the Terraces (what was up with that?), Winter…


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. Wow, Moonshadow! I used to bounce and manage that bar for most of it’s existence. Loved the students that came in.

  2. The buffalo chicken pizza at Sammy’s is UNMATCHED! I have never had a more delicious version of that pie since I was a student in IC until ’07.

  3. Normally I don’t agree with most of the things on posts like this, but – wow. Right on! From the ethernet cables all over the place to the jammed up house party that you only had an address for on Kendall. Good trot back to my college days!

Write A Comment