1. Realtors. If I tell you I can’t afford to pay $1000 dollars month, I actually can’t afford to pay $1000 dollars a month. Your excitement about the tiny, odd-shaped place is not going to change the fact that I am a young 20-something and make no money. So unless you plan to help me pay rent, don’t waste my time showing me apartments I can’t afford.

2. Lines in stores. Why is it that everyone wants to go shopping when I do? It’s not like everyone works during the week, sleeps in on the weekend, goes out weekend nights, and only has weekend days to do all their shopping. I swear that’s just how it is for me… right?

3. People who speak different languages to each other in elevators. It’s not like the elevator isn’t already the scariest, smallest place on Earth… and now you have to talk to your friend in a different language. What are you trying hide? Huh? HUH?

4. Websites that still have popups. It’s 2012. Let’s get with the program. Popups are sooo 2004 (and scream ‘porn site’).

5. Dentists who try to have a full out conversation with you while they are working in your mouth. Clearly you are the ones with your hands all over my teeth. Is your mission to get me to bite you while telling you what I do for a living? I don’t want to be rude and not answer you, but I also don’t want to drool all over your hand and my face.

6. People with accents that I can’t understand. I know it’s not your fault that you have an accent (and at least you speak English), but by talking to me in your accent you’ve now made me feel like a horrible and awkward person – two things I strive not to be. Oh and sorry I had to ask you 5 times what you just said.

7. People who still use middle-school-esque wording seriously. Including LOLZ, luv, and 143. Also, people who still type like this. WuTz Up BiTcHeZ? Is that really necessary? No.

8. Annoying laughs. There is nothing more horrible than hearing an annoying laugh… except when you have one… or when you’ve grown to embrace one. No, it’s not that you actually like the laugh… You just can’t picture life without it.

9. The Verizon store. If your phone breaks, you are pretty much screwed because now you have to find the time between your job and your sleeping schedule to spend hours upon hours waiting in Verizon for them to tell you your phone has water damage, you suck, or you are about to be phoneless or broke.

10. When you get your nails done and the Asian starts speaking to another Asian in a foreign language… and then they start laughing. Obviously I can tell you’re talking about me and how I don’t take care of my nails. Well guess what? That’s what I’m paying you to do. So stop talking and start working.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

Write A Comment