“Diet starts tomorrow”

Tale as old as time – women looking in the mirror and see something immediately they want to change. It’s almost second nature and can you blame us? Even in a world that has perfection like Beyonce and Jennifer Lawrence – most of us still feel inadequate when it comes to our looks. I would love to say as women we need to get a place of acceptance of what we were given but there really isn’t anything harder than self acceptance, forreal. The medicine I use for myself is doing what makes me feel happy – even if that means ordering In n Out….because the diet starts tomorrow.

“I look fucking old”

Let the record show – I found a gray hair in the mirror a few weeks back – plucked that shit right out. RIP to my youth.

“I have the skin of a teenager”

Will the pimples ever stop? Will there be a time when we stop breaking out like our teenager selves and just have normal, beautiful skin before the wrinkles show up? My bedtime routine is long as fuck due to pore strips, facial cleanses, creams, acne treatments – it’s a never ending list and still those fuckers pop up like clock work. Over it.

“I want to cut my hair/grow it out/get bangs/etc.”

A great internal debate of mine that I have about every 6 months – to get bangs or to not get bangs? I even do that thing where you try to pull your hair over your forehead to see what it looks like – knowing that if I actually did have bangs they wouldn’t resemble this AT ALL. It’s like cutting your hair has to mean some big symbolic thing so I feel like if that’s the case – just take the leap and do it.

“I look good”

On the RARE occasion you aren’t on your period/pms-ing/depressed/upset about finances/hating your dating life/frustrated with your boss/annoyed with your boyfriend – the stars a line and you feel like the sexy lady that you are. When this happens – it is the most intoxicating feeling. You walk with a little sway in your hips, your head is held high – it’s a beautiful moment when you look in the mirror and feel this way – and we don’t have this happen nearly as often as we should.

“I hate my period”


“Should I go to the gym”

The answer should always be yes – because as Elle Woods said endorphins make you happy. And it’s true once you’re there working out you will feel like the queen that you are and won’t regret it for a second. But seriously – since the act of physically getting to the gym is just as hard as the actual working out part, skip the look in the mirror and just go move your ass (literally.)

“Fucking cellulite”

I would bathe in Nivea firming cream if that meant it would go away.

“I need to stop shopping at Forever 21”

Jesus take the wheel – I really need to give up this store….but I can’t quit you. Every time I go there I swear it’s my last time spending money on clothes that don’t last. I tell myself I’m too old to spend two hours in one store where nothing makes sense. I also ask myself “Am I too old to pull this off” (BTW the answer is always yes). But alas, somehow I wander in and leave with cute outfits that will last me a few months. Damn you, Forever and your poor people prices.

“I kinda want to take a selfie”

Admit that from time to time you debate about the mirror selfie. Let’s not have shame about it – every other person is a Kim Kardashian when it comes to selfies so no harm in dabbling in it every so often when you’re feeling your lip color or outfit and want to show your friends that sometimes you do get out of your yoga pants.


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