We’ve all got that one obscure relative who’s nearly impossible to buy for.  Maybe you only see them once a year, or maybe you’re forced to suffer through countless family engagements with him or her on a monthly basis and they just happen to be a fucking weirdo, but either way, the random relative becomes a major inconvenience around holiday time.  How do you give an impersonal gift without seeming like a cold hearted Grinch who went to Bath & Body Works (hopefully with a cold because that place is an olfactory overload nightmare) and picked up a pre-made gift basket and called it a day?  The struggle is far too real, but don’t worry, I’ve got you covered, and all for relatively cheap, because why the hell would you spend money on someone you pretend not to share a bloodline with?

For Your Kinda Dyke-y Cousin Who Likes Sports… And Doesn’t Care Who Knows (I had to link to this… sorry)

The Gift: Nine for IX DVD Gift Set

The Price: $29.95

From the award-winning producers of 30 for 30, Nine for IX is an exceptional gift set celebrating the 40th anniversary of Title IX features nine documentary films about women in sports. AND WE’RE GIVING TEN OF THESE DVD SETS AWAY! YES, THAT’S RIGHT. 10!

All you have to do is enter below. For extra entries, be sure to follow us on twitter at @forever20tweets and like us on Facebook. Also, if you share the giveaway on Twitter and Facebook, for each entry received from your shared link, you get the 5 extra points! All entries must be received by December 15th at 11pm. Winners will be announced on the 16th. Good luck!

For the Relative Who’s Off the Wagon Once Again (or just likes to tie a few on at any time of day)

The Gift:  “The Big Swig” – the Ultimate Wine Glass
The Price:  $14.99 (plus tax, shipping, whatever, buy it here)

I can personally give a testimonial on this product, because it is absolutely miraculous.  It’s a wine glass that holds an entire BOTTLE of wine.  This is a great gift because it can definitely be used at any gathering, and will probably be used immediately upon opening.  The best aspect of The Big Swig is that it doesn’t ACTUALLY look to be as large and spacious as it is.  Also, if crazy Aunt Tracey gets drunk and your grandmother tries to lecture her for drinking an entire bottle of wine again, she can always respond with, “Mom.  I had one glass.”  Plus it’s super cheap, so you might as well just buy one for yourself while you’re at it.  You’re welcome.

For The Techie Relative:

The Gift:  Google Chrome Cast
The Price:  $34.99

I don’t really have a clue what this thing does; I just recently learned you no longer need to prefix websites with “www” (I know, pathetic for someone employed via the interwebs), but apparently, it’s really cool.  I guess you can control it with your smartphone and hook it up to a TV?  It has Netflix?  I think it might negate the need for cable, which is also great for the nomadic random relative, too.

For the Relative Who’s Going to Die a Virgin:

The Gift:  Pac-Man Color Changing Ghost Table Lamp

The Price:  $49.99 (buy it here).

For the gamer cousin who will more than likely never have an overnight guest, this is a great addition to any bedroom.  It’s nostalgic charm is reminiscent of the popular arcade game.  It also doubles as lighting for a rave, in case your loner cousin likes to pop molly and sway from side to side for hours on end in the comfort of his own home, so that’s a thing I guess.

For the Relative Who Cares About Their Cat More than the Family:

The Gift:  Cat Whack a Mole
The Price:  $9.99

We all know that people who are SERIOUS cat people think a gift for the cat is more thoughtful than a gift for themselves, and nothing is better than an interactive gift for cat and owner.  Apparently, you stick a mouse underneath the game board and watch the cat try to pounce on it, which is probably entertaining for all parties involved.  This way, you’ve got weird Uncle Freddy and Mr. Whiskers covered.


The Gift:  A Subscription to an Online Dating Website
The Price:  It varies.

Because we all know Mr. Whiskers is on his ninth life, so you might as well try to set your weird random relative up with a kindred spirit.  ‘Tis the season.

For the Relative Who Has a Kitchen:
The Gift:  Any pre-packaged sampler set of food or cooking related items.  I liked the Sarabeth’s Sampler from Sur La Table
The Price:  Most range from $20 to $50.

Pre-packaged food items are a notch above the aforementioned pre-made Bath and Body Works gift set, but at least you can personalize them a little bit by the foreseeable tastes of the random relative.  I’m not kidding when I say there is everything from a million pancake mixes in a festive basket to make your own bacon kits, so have at it.

For the Relative Who Has a Sense of Humor

The Gift:  A T-Rex head trophy mount
The Price:  I found one on Amazon for about $70.00

Um, hel-fucking-lo.  It’s a dinosaur head mount, a hilarious nod to the weird moose and deer heads some people insist on hanging around their homes.  I think this is absolutely hysterical and impractical, and therefor, an amazing gift to buy for a relative you don’t know well.  In case you happen to order two, let me know on Twitter, I’ll give you my address to ship the spare to.

For the Relative Who Works in an Office:

The Gift:  A Bubble Wrap Calendar.
The Price:  $29.99

This is a great idea, because not only will this calendar take up an entire wall of your relative’s cubicle, but it will allow them one fun part of their day:  popping a bubble wrap bubble to mark a day off.

For the Relative Who Has Feet:

The Gift:  THESE festive holiday socks from Arthur George.  Or really, any socks from Rob “Fatass” Kardashian’s line.
The Price:  $15.00, which is totally reasonable.

Oh cool, you just bought something designer and holiday themed for someone you barely know.  Socks are great gifts because they’re not only practical, but they’re virtually impossible to buy the wrong size in.

For the Relative Who Owns a Set of Keys:

The Gift:  Any cool festive key cover.  I found these awesome Jack Skellington ones, which I suppose are also seasonally appropriate.
The Price:  Literally, no more than $10, for a set.

Who doesn’t love to jazz up the mundane things in life?  I can think of nothing more mundane than a set of keys, and they’re also great for recognizing which keys open which door, in case you’re related to Hagrid, or someone with a similar groundskeeper position that would allow them to have a ton of keys on them all the time.

For the Relative You’ve Been Meaning to Talk To:

The Gift:  An Intervention.
The Price:  Free, technically.

I mean, not at the top of the gift giving list, but sometimes you need to spice up a holiday get together, right?  There’s no better way to do so than by throwing an intervention.

For the Relative You Actually Hate:

The Gift
:  A fruitcake.
The Price:  I actually have no clue where would even go about purchasing a fruit cake, or whether it’s something that needs to be made from scratch, but I do know it’s a universal, passive aggressive symbol of “fuck you” during Yule time.

And honestly, if worse comes to worse, you can always play the favorite holiday game of Michael Scott:


After graduating from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizadry, and realizing her degree in The History of Magic was hardly applicable in any employable realm, Alex decided to stop doing acid and actually get a BA in English. A comedy writer living in Brooklyn, NY, Alex enjoys stalking ex-boyfriends, drinking coffee, plotting ways to meet Suri Cruise, and drinking cheap wine out of an over priced Crate and Barrel glass. Follow her on Twitter if you're entertained by hot messes @Alex_Engelbert.

1 Comment

  1. I’ve had the bubble wrap calendar – and even though I bought it myself, it was one of my favorite things!

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