You know that girl who flawlessly executes the perfect hair flip with the tinkling laugh? In no way, shape or form is this you. You may have made some misguided attempts at trying to be her in middle school, only to soon realize that this strategy just doesn’t work. Some people just have all the grace and charm of a bull in a china shop. So your only move was to perfect the art of being awkward. While you may view it as being too socially incompetent to have a casual conversation, others somehow view it as “genuine” and “charming”. Little do they know that when you say you’re going home from the bar and eating cheese, you’re not joking. But are you fully aware of your awkwardness? Here are 12 signs that your signature move is awkward.
1. You find yourself accidentally saying something that’s completely 100% inappropriate like it’s word vomit.
2. There’s a 90% chance you will fall at least once in their presence.
3. You have a normal laugh. You really do. But suddenly your laugh becomes maniacal and would terrify the cutest of woodland creatures.
4. When someone give you a compliment, you immediately do something weird because you don’t know how to accept it.
5. Your sarcasm makes you really hard to read. Like really hard. Like is it even a “sense of humor” anymore?
6. You swear. Much more than necessary, and much more than you should with someone you don’t know that well.
7. Your attempts at looking at someone across the room to flirt come off more like you’ve been stalking them for weeks and have been plotting their death.
8. Your moves are better in your head than they are in real life.
9. When things have been going super awkward, you try to compensate for it by drinking a little more, later realizing this makes you even more awkward.
10. You frequently use the phrase I hate you. But what you really mean is I love you, and that’s why I hate you.
11. In case it’s not clear yet that you have a problem with words, you are blunt. Extremely blunt.
12. You constantly remind people you’re interested in that you’re going to be alone forever. In case they get any ideas.
Still, somehow this is who you are and a part of your charm so embrace it. Weirdos are more interesting anyway.