1. You’re extremely impatient
You’re on your way to get a menial task out of the way and guesstimate that it’ll only take a few minutes of your time. Then, you see the large line in front of you and immediately, your chest starts clenching and your breathing gets heavier. Don’t these people know that YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO TODAY?? Or even worse, you’re running slightly late to an event, so obviously the driver in front of you decides to crawl 5 miles under the speed limit. Your nature doesn’t allow you to handle such things. After all, you’re on a tight schedule and there’s no room for peasants.
2. You get anxious participating in activities that are supposed to relieve your anxiety
Alright, so you’ve googled all the things you’re “supposed” to do when you feel anxiety coming on. “Try practicing yoga,” they say. “Go for a run, incorporating these things into your daily life will help keep you grounded.” Yeah right. Clearing your mind in yoga is nearly impossible. As soon as you’re starting to get “relaxed,” you look at the clock and realize the time. Then you start thinking about all the things you have to do after the class is over. Why isn’t the class over yet again? Wait, we have 40 more minutes of this?? Okay stop, clear your mind. Great, now you’re stressed that you’re wasting your time because you’re even more stressed that you can’t clear your mind. You don’t have time for this bull shit anyway.
3. You have to schedule your “free time”
Your “free time” is mostly just a block of time that you can take away from when something you already planned for is running over schedule. It’s the way that you bargain with yourself so you still feel like you’re on task. Traffic taking too long? I’ll just mentally take that time out of free time, thank you very much!! And if you actually get done at a reasonable time, MAYBE you can use free time for sleep! What a treat!!!
4. You’re anxious if you actually have nothing to do
The only thing worse than having a million things to do is having nothing to do. Because if you have nothing to do, then you should be doing something. You must be forgetting something. What is it that you’re forgetting? Okay, focus on what you can do that’s productive instead. But is that more productive than the thing you’re forgetting to do? There’s no way you can have actual free time because that’s just a fantasy. Now you’re more worked up than when you have an actual reason to be.
5. You’re wired 24/7
People think you’re wired, but really your brain just doesn’t allow you to relax. All of your pent up energy is due to your tightly wound nature, and results in you being SUPER EXPRESSIVE anytime anyone sees you… mostly because all of your energy is spent making people (and yourself) THINK that you have it all together and under control.
6. You’re an organization pro
Not because you ever wanted to be, but because you have to be to stay in control. Even if it’s chaotic organization, you have some sort of system that keeps everything in balance for you and helps keep up the illusion that you are very much in control of your life. Post it notes, day planners, endless notes in your phone are just typical and necessary for your existence.
7. You always jump to the worst conclusion
Friday night, an email comes in from your boss. “Hey, can we set up a time to talk Monday?” Why in the world would anyone put this sort of personal Hell on you. Now, from Friday night till Monday morning, you get to think up every single scenario that could possibly happen at the meeting, and most frequently, thoughts of being fired come to mind. So there you’ll sit, in your ball of anxiety, trying to distract yourself but always coming back to that one thought. WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
9. Speaking of which, you might also have some social anxiety
There are different levels of social anxiety. There’s the one where you think that it’s possible that your friends don’t actually like you and keep you around for some unknown reason… then there’s the LOOK AT ME IN PUBLIC I CAN DO THINGS IN PUBLIC I’M NOT HAVING ANXIETY AT ALL, wait they can’t tell because I’m smiling, right? anxiety… and then there’s the What excuse can I make to not be around anyone tonight? anxiety. No matter which you have, you’ve probably experienced all of these at some point in your life.
10. You probably have some sort of minor addition
Whether it’s coffee, pen chewing, gum snapping, or hair twirling, you have some sort of addiction that’s a crutch to lean on when you’re teetering on the edge. Without your addiction, you start losing control. You might not even notice yourself doing it because it’s become natural to your every day… but when you’ve used your last coffee bean or reach for another stick of gum to find it empty, you immediately spiral into a panic attack.
11. You get angry at unnecessary chatter
You’re in a meeting that’s going a little too long for your liking, and all of a sudden, 5/10 people are just discussing HTML and Javascript, which might as well be freaking Mandarin to you. “Okay, I can deal with this for the next… 10 minutes” you tell yourself, trying to make yourself patient and negotiating with your anxious mind. Yet, the meeting goes on. 14 minutes. 15… 15.5… your heart rate and breathing steadily increase while you think of all the other things you could possibly be doing besides listening to people who have nothing to do with anything you’re doing. And yet, there’s no way to leave, so you quietly fume to yourself and fake a strained smile.
12. Your schedule really is your life… and no one should mess with it
If they do, they should be prepared to suffer the wrath of an anxiety riddled psychopath about to have a complete meltdown. Do NOT get in the way of someone having an anxiety attack. Do NOT ask them to do more things. And for God’s sake, do NOT tell them to CALM DOWN.
13. You either have to party hard and let loose at the end of the week…
Because sometimes the only solution to not thinking for you is to start drinking.
14. …or you curl up in a ball to recover from all of your social interactions
And you don’t want to be disturbed. Even text messages are overwhelming. You really just have an overwhelming desire to not interact… Until tomorrow when you can no longer avoid those email chains and the cycle starts all over again.
