Okay, so I can’t say I spent 15 years in a bunker. But there are times when I AM Kimmy Schmidt. After all, us FEEEEmales are strong as hell.

1. When you walked into the club and realized dancing is all about butts now. Keep arm flailing to a minimum. Raising the roof isn’t cool anymore.


2. When you didn’t want the world to be your oyster, because EW. Noodles and butter > oysters.


3. When you misinterpreted what a cute guy said. Then got super embarrassed when you found out he wasn’t saying “I love you” to you.


4. When you took advantage of a place or time to make funny faces. Because you obviously need to practice your grotesque look.


5. When you wanted to have candy for dinner so you did. Because there’s no stopping you.


6. When you told off a teenager. Because teenagers are the worst.


7. When you wore whatever you damn well pleased. Light-up sneakers? Acceptable. Carrying a backpack? SO COOL.


8. Whenever you hung out with your gay best friend. We all have ’em. And they are amazing.


9. When your boss asks you to do a ridiculous task…AND YOU SUCCEED.


10. When your current life situation gets you down, but you make the most of it.


11. When you went on a date and the guy was not quite who you thought he’d be.


12. When you found out your landlady was quite a…character.


13. When you found yourself stuck in a love triangle.


14. When you came up with an insult that didn’t quite work.





Liz Witter is a 2011 graduate of St. Bonaventure University where she majored in broadcast journalism with a (useless) minor in French. She is originally from Rochester, NY but moved to Boston for a job...then another job. She spends her free time sleeping, going to Sephora or doing crafts. She plays volleyball recreationally and refuses to believe she peaked in high school. She’ll take Tim Hortons over Dunkin, and Wegmans over basically anything. You can follow her on Twitter at @lwitta6.

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