You’re finally growing up. Mazel Tov.


1. Successfully cooking a dish by yourself for a dinner party or holiday.

You can cook! You can really cook! This does not include: chicken nuggets, frozen pizza, microwavable dinners, scrambled eggs, grilling food on the George Foreman. You get the point.



2. Meeting your friends out to dinner or at a bar BY YOURSELF.

Just like you sometimes have to go to the bathroom by yourself, you’re also going to have to meet people in public places by yourself (without waiting in the car for someone to go in before you). The whole pregame thing wasn’t going to last forever. Plus, when you’re alone, there’s no one around to cock (or vagine) block you.



3. Changing the address on your license to reflect your adult-life address. 

You moved. Make it official already!

Get fancy with it. Tell your friends.
Get fancy with it. Tell your friends.


4. Calling the house you grew up in your parent’s home and not your home.

Your home is somewhere else now. Unless of course you still live at home, which in that case all power to you. Saving money must be nice. I wouldn’t know about that even if I still lived at home, I mean my parent’s house, I mean just kidding.

Or maybe your home is on Whore Island (jealous).


5. Decorating your apartment with a neutral color pallet. 

When friends tell you your place looks very “grown up” or you can see your living room on Pinterest, that’s when you know you’ve made it to the big leagues.



6. Working out over the weekend and not spending all of Saturday and Sunday hungover on the couch and/or getting drunk (again) at brunch.

Stop having your shit together! Like, who are you? Do you even know you anymore?

You're not Carol anymore.
You’re not Carol anymore.


7. Thinking about buying a new car.

You don’t actually have to go about doing this because the whole purchasing a car thing is a huge ordeal, but knowing you could do it if you really really really needed to feels pretty good.



8. Killing a bug without recruiting help from others.

You are such a bad bitch.



9. Thinking of 3am as way too early in the morning instead of way too late at night. 

People stay OUT that late? What are they even doing? You never know what they’re doing out there.

Remember when you used to get home from a night of drinking at 530?
Remember when you used to go to bed after night of drinking at 530?


10. Using a coupon at the grocery store and/or Bed Bath and Beyond to buy something.

Are you your mom or something because you are definitely not you anymore.



11. Raising your credit score.

Yasssss gurl, yassssssssssss.

giphy (22)


12. Saying “no” when asked if you want to go to an acquaintance’s birthday that you have no interest in going to.

That is, after you separate your friends from your acquaintances and recognize that not everyone is your BFF. It’s okay to say “no” to things you don’t want to do. It actually feels good. Try it some time.



13. Making a doctors appointments and not forgetting about it.

You are taking charge of your health. Boss status.

That's you.
That’s you.


14. Paying your own phone bill. 

All by yourself. You make it rain all over Verizon’s tittayyyys.



15. Successfully filing your own taxes. S

o what if an TurboTax did it? You is totally an adult. Now go spend your tax return on wine to celebrate like a real grownup!



Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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